jeaniet212 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Perhaps the person you fell in love with, isn't the person you ended up with. People change over a period of time I agree! and sometimes they changed for the worst... he turned into this cold-hearted person that he definitely wasn't before... Link to comment
jeaniet212 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 5. Ugly hat haha... as for me ... Ugly jacket! Link to comment
bobsiesprincess Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Unfortunately, I really didn't and still don't see that many negatives in him. It would be easier if I did. this is EXACTLY the same for me, hence the point of this thread. Link to comment
shell80 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 1. He made false promises 2. He wore orange with red 3. He was moody and emotionally inept 4. He didn't cut his fingernails regularly so they were often longer than mine. 5. He owned a set of night vision goggles (don't ask!) 6. He never thanked me for anything 7. He couldn't organise a p!iss up in a brewery 8. He left me without a word or ounce of respect 9. He left me with a credit card debt 10. He was a psycho. Can I keep going... Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 4. He didn't cut his fingernails regularly so they were often longer than mine. Oh man...i HATE that!! Link to comment
JenP Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 1. He was overly critical of everything - of me, of himself, of others. 2. He didn't like it if I ever talked about the future... even asking him about what his ideal age for marriage would be (we were together for 2 years) 3. Cheap. He paid for the 1st 2 dates but after that, never offered to pay again 4. Got way too drunk at times 5. Didn't really try to meet my friends or ask about them. 6. Didn't like me hanging out with guys - always assumed that the guys would try to hit on me 7. Never called when he said he was going to. 8. Hardly pulled out chairs or opened doors for me even though I told him I liked gentlemen. 9. Wasn't a good phone talker even though he knew that is was a essential form of communication as I wasn't allowed to go out too much. 10. Didn't really know everything there was to know about me. And many times, didn't even inquire. 11. Didn't try to get to know my interests, feelings, dreams, opinions about certain issues. 12. Thought love songs were dumb. Hated Brian McKnight.. didn't like Boys II Men. That's all I can think of for now... gosh, that felt good lol! 13. He knew I was opinionated - I loved talking about current events. Yet he hardly ever let me bring them up with them. It's sad but for every thing I've mentioned here.. I have about 5 good points that my brain conjures up too =( Link to comment
vasilias Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 im begging to dread what my ex would write down as to why they left me. Ive done the exercise myself as to why they wernt any good for me but sadley it came up short on the negatives. I wish i had done it earlier before we broke up beacuse i always worried about the bad things that would make the relationship not work out rather than the excessive number of reasons why it would. Perhaps its an exercise we all need to do in the relationship too not just after. Link to comment
just M.E. Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 Geee, let me think 1. He was a pathological liar 2. Narcissistic a$$hole 3. Mean and vindicative 4. Became alcoholic 5. Drugs, not just weed 6. Resented my daughter 7. Resented my friends 8. Was competitive with me, needed to take over my personal life skills and try be better at them than me, essentially pushing me out of my personal spaces 9. Showed none of this until a year, year and a half, after the marriage (see No. 1, Pathological liar) ](*,) Other than that he had a good sense of humor and we had a lot of activities and things we liked in common, that's what brought us together. If I had the awareness then I have now, I wouldn't give him 5 minutes of my time, much less a first date. Live and learn. Link to comment
FarFromPerfect Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 What an excellent thread idea! I had yet to get to the point where I could list the negatives about my ex (even 8 months after the initial break-up)but you all have given me the motivation 1. He borrowed $5,000.00 from me over 3 years ago, and has only paid me back $2,400.00 2. He lives in his mothers basement because he lost his own home due to the fact that he couldnt sustain a job longer than 6 months....... 3. He smokes like a chimney 4. His breath was always sour 5. He was a pathological liar to make himself appear better than he was. He also lied about stupid, silly things as well. White lies that made no sense. It was the reason I stopped trusting him..... 6. Always had grandiose ideas about his future, our future and none of them every came to fruition, and I firmly believe, now,that none of them ever will as far as his life is concerned. 7. He was OCD about his clothes. He couldnt wear this with that, wouldnt wear that with this. It was freakishly weird 8. He was too loud and boisterous when we were out with friends...always beating his own chest, name dropping and praising himself. It was embarrassing. Gosh, I bet if I thought about it long enough, I could list many, many more! I'm sure he could do the same, but this isn't about me Link to comment
hmdreamer7 Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 He wasn't right for me because: 1. He can't commit 2. He lied to me constantly 3. He is a coward 4. He had no drive to do anything, and 5. Eventually didn't appreciate the things that I liked and liked to do Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 He was downright MEAN. He was verbally abusivie to me...funny...I didn't even realize it until I left him...but he put me down all the time...say things about me that hurt me right to my soul... If I so much as interrupted him he would scream at me... He used to scream at my puppy Gracie for doing, of all things, being a puppy... He never told me I was funny...every one always says I have a great sense of humor, but he never laughed at my jokes. But mainly, because he's a pathological liar... He had sex with women he met on the Internet...not even bothering to get catch their first names... Was REAL ANGRY if I WANTED TO KNOW where HE WAS until 3 AM!!! HOW DARE I ASK!!!! Divorce is underrated....(OK..don't jump all over me...I'm joking...but really...CAN YA SEE WHY I CAN'T WAIT????) Who ever started this thread...this was a really good idea to start the New Year.! Link to comment
SarCareBear Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 the Ex sucked because.. 1. she was lazy and never wanted to exercise, while i'm big into sports! 2. didn't share my sense of humor over the wacky and whimsical 3. treats her (OUR!!!) friends like doormats. i'm not even the first of us she's dumped!!!!!!! i almost feel insane that no one has noticed this trend, and even if they never do, I at least feel like a good person for treating my friends with respect, not as if they're only there to do me favors. 4. disrespected my love for crappy reality tv O 5. lowwwwww sex drive 6. immature ways of getting my attention when we were in a group of people 7. wasn't over her ex-boyfriend 8. extreme, sleep-deprived workaholic tendencies that impacted her life all over 9. SHE DUMPED ME, the best thing that could have ever happened to her!!! silly, silly girl. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 1. He couldn't commit to me 2. Was not over his ex 3. Too full of himself 4. Has a big nose 5. He was not into pleasing me -very selfish 6. extremely manipulative 7. Was not interested in including me in his plans with his friends at all 8. Abused me - verbally and physically a few times 9. Never complimented me 10. Was not there for me when I needed him the most 11. Loved getting attention from other women - even if they are FUGLY ...and I still cry over him and want him back... and I always ask myself WHY?!?! Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 foreverlost....just read your list anytime you feel like crying, especially #8. Link to comment
foreverlost Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 foreverlost....just read your list anytime you feel like crying, especially #8. the saddest thing is that... every time he did abuse me, I feel like I deserved it... and I know I shouldn't be thinking like that. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 1. He couldn't commit to me 2. Was not over his ex 3. Too full of himself 4. Has a big nose 5. He was not into pleasing me -very selfish 6. extremely manipulative 7. Was not interested in including me in his plans with his friends at all 8. Abused me - verbally and physically a few times 9. Never complimented me 10. Was not there for me when I needed him the most 11. Loved getting attention from other women - even if they are FUGLY ...and I still cry over him and want him back... and I always ask myself WHY?!?! Forever... We sound a lot a like... And we sound like we married the same man... Sorry for your pain...I feel it well.... Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 the saddest thing is that... every time he did abuse me, I feel like I deserved it... and I know I shouldn't be thinking like that. No, you didn't deserve it. So, when you're thinking like that....just read the rest of your list and you'll see very clearly that you didn't HE didn't deserve YOU. Link to comment
shell80 Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 An addition: He didn't even throw his rubbish in the bin...what the?! Link to comment
foreverlost Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Forever... We sound a lot a like... And we sound like we married the same man... Sorry for your pain...I feel it well.... I didn't marry him... it's better I found this out sooner I guess. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 I didn't marry him... it's better I found this out sooner I guess. Yes...BELIEVE ME yes... Still hurts the same I am sure...but at least you have no "legal" ties. Ties of the heart are the same, but girl, you don't wanna have to deal with divorce...just TRUST me on this one. Link to comment
water Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Cheater Liar Selfish Narcissistic Link to comment
Stambler Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Notice no one said "They were too good for me" LOL! Link to comment
minigirl Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 1. He's a coward, couldn't break up with me. Used "I need time....I tell you when I know..." 2. Ashamed of me 3. Never made time for me. 4. Always made me cry 5. Never had money....... CHEAP 6. Always wanted me to understand, but never understood me 7. I was never important to him Good Riddance Link to comment
foreverlost Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I also forgot to mention cheap... very cheap... I gave him more then I got in return... in every way... even sexually!grr. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted January 9, 2008 Share Posted January 9, 2008 I have a long list, too. But here are a couple of bottom ones that oddly should be at the top: -- he told me at the beginning of our relationship that if a girl didn't like the Beatles, that would actually make some difference to him -- he said "have a beautiful day" no matter what the circumstances, on messages and emails even when he knew I was really struggling, or we had had a terrible fight that we patched up the night before, and I was on no sleep and depressed. Something about that was so horribly CLUELESS and glossed over; how could anyone like that be tuned in? When I finally told him to please not say that when things were sucking, he said everyone else "loved his positivity" when he said that! PUKE. Link to comment
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