Adobe GIllis Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 OK, before we can even break the ice, we have to deal with the admittedly shallow concept of looks, especially when you are in large numbers among people you haven't met before or don't get to meet often. And I wonder if this is my problem. One question for the females out there: How fat is too fat for a guy? I mean, I'm 34 years old. I'm 5'10"(precise average anglo-American male height) and I have a 32-inch waist. I lift, I work out, I run 1.5 miles 6-times a week and I can touch my nose to my knees when suspended upside-down effortlessly. For my age, I'D say I'm doing allright. So why the hell do people call me "chubby" or "fat"? I mean, I have gotten this from totally unrelated people whom I have just met (@ssh*les) and even ex-girlfriends have jibed me about it. One disclaimer: I am in the art/design scenes and it seems most of the guys that are successful with the opposite sex there are about 6'3" and weigh 130 soaking-wet. The whole David Bowie-thing. Sorry, ladies, I just can't get like that. My Irish-caveman genetics just don't allow it. (AARRRRGGH!) So is it the goofy demands of my scene? Or are my dimensions indeed too "porky"? Be brutal. I gotta know this. I feel it's one of the primary reasons I'm shy, and I bet lots of guys in increasing numbers nowadays may have this concern too. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Why are looks considered shallow? Are you saying that they dont matter/shouldnt matter? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 you sound like you are in the clear.. i consider fat someone who has the roll above the belt line.. when standind up it threatens to cover up the button of the pants.. I kinda like chubby guys.. the ones who have a roll that i can just grab like they do mine.. we're talking 1-2 inches of fat layer on the tummy here. I like flesh... in moderation! lol Link to comment
marytyler1112 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 you sound like you are in the clear.. yeah, you do. I think it's the goofy demands of your scene (the GDs of your S) Link to comment
yellow_sweater Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I'd have to agree that the predominant "look" for artists/ hipsters/ designers/ architects/ etc. these days is "Oh my GOODNESS eat a SANDwhich!!!" I think it's likely that you're comparing yourself to a subset of America that is much scrawnier than what is considered normal. If you don't mind me asking, what is your body weight and/or BMI? I ask because people can be in relatively good shape and still be overweight. YS Link to comment
stranded247 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 You sound fine, i'm half irish and I think irish men are gorgeous. But tell me how is your diet, you sounds very fit physically but perhaps you are eating the wrong things or too much? I personally think you just sound broad and muscular. With all these anorexic looking men it is refreshing to have guys around with muscle. Seriously have any of you seen the skinny jeans on guys trend? Why are the uber skinny guys always the ones that wear them?!?!? Yuck, sometimes its tasteful though. But back to the subject as long as you work out and eat healthily you have nothing to be ashamed of. Link to comment
Adobe GIllis Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Yes I am muscular. My neck looks like its made out of pipes and wires, nor do I have a "moonface". I have no belly-hang although I have more of a 4-pack rather than a 6-pack-can't figure out why. I obsess a little too much about my diet (no sugar, low fat, absolutely no starch and forget about fast food) I myself don't consider me cuddly or stumpy or poofy. I just checked this out on Men'sHealth forum: I am actually two inches LESS in waist size for a man my age and height and a whopping 12 pounds lighter (American standards)!!!! Hooray! So, I must agree with Yellow Sweater. It's the scene. I just moved out to suburbia where my peer-group is pretty scarce and I am a pencil-neck compared to the guys my age or younger here. Main point that Equestriandynamo answered is what is "acceptable" for men from women in general. I mean, I guess that depends on personal taste, but I got some pretty good opinions here so other guys who might have these concerns can benefit. Thanks alot guys! Big time help. Link to comment
Adobe GIllis Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Love your name and your signature Sorry, I had a public school education. My geography skills are off. HAHAHAHA! Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 You don't sound chubby or fat although I'm not very good just by written measurements. It is easier to say when having an actual pic to look at. I used to love 'skinny' guys... although I'm mellowing now and not so into that anymore. I don't like the issue with weight where you are brought up wishing you were the size of a starving model - especially with the whole size 0 phenomenon now. Kids under the age of 10 now think they are 'fat' when they are just average because the media exposes it so much. Sometimes you get journalists picking on super-skinny celebs saying 'she needs a good meal' yet then another day someone will criticise a normal-sized person calling her chubby (I read where one tabloid journalist said that Baby Spice had thunder thighs). It's no wonder we all get insecure about what we look like. Link to comment
Adobe GIllis Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 I don't like the issue with weight where you are brought up wishing you were the size of a starving model - especially with the whole size 0 phenomenon now. Totally agree with you! I don't wish I were like that and I am happy with my form. I am just confused and hence, insecure about this because of the feedback I have heard in the past and I wanted some affirmation as to whether I was indeed an "untouchable" (see-creepy guy post). If I hadn't heard that malarky, from people in my past, I would probably be alot more confident. Since art and design are part of the media engine, its no surprise that people in that scene would be so fascist about weight. It shows too. When I was in high-school, I never heard one slam about my figure, but throught college and grad school and beyond, I would get this (probably because of being in art-scenes). Look, next to a guy who's built like Iggy Pop, I probably would look a bit Hobbitish, but as for the normal American man, that isn't so. As for the size 0 phenomenon, I seem to see less of it in the media. IMHO, heroin-chic is today what Hair Metal was in the 90's-TEN YEARS AGO! Link to comment
stranded247 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Lol you sound like me diet wise. Well then your nice and dandy and if you have a four pack who the hell is complaining?! God the art/fashion/media world is harsh but seriously you sound healthy and toned which is how a man should be so good on you! Link to comment
Adobe GIllis Posted January 4, 2008 Author Share Posted January 4, 2008 Toned! THAT was the word I was looking for! Duh... Yeah, I got that. Anyway, thanks for the realistic perspective about things and I think it might be a good guideline for what females think about guys. I mean, we always hear about women's insecurities on this issue, but more and more men seem to be facing this too (damn media...). Well, here was a chance to voice your own opinions on guys. Anyway, this has been a big help for me, and hopefully I can use this in the back of my mind when I need it for confidence. ...Now if I can only get rid of my conjoined twin.... Link to comment
pacman Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 how much do you weigh? 32" waist isnt fat at all. maybe you have what is called a "butter face" which just means a fat face. I had gained about 10 pounds in a short time and noticed my cheeks got bigger. It was more noticeable because I had short hair. If you have a fat face then grow your hair out and maybe some facial hair so it wont make your head look as big. Link to comment
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