Would like to have casual SEX over the holidays... what should I know? birth control?

[Aleadragonhawk]

you haven't even met the guy yet and still intend on having sex with him..... isn't it sort of trashy??

 

This is precisely what you've expressed the desire/plan to do earlier on in this thread.

[stellastrawberry]

Um, I just wanted to mention that Borderline Personality Disorder is NO JOKE. Take that very seriously. My brothers mother has it, and she is a total nutjob, and I mean that in the truest sense, and gets worse every year. She lost all rights to her children when they were eleven and thirteen, and hasn't been allowed to contact them since, as per court order (six years). So yeah, don't mess around. It can lead to a terribly tragic life if not treated.

[Lily04]

Um, I just wanted to mention that Borderline Personality Disorder is NO JOKE. Take that very seriously. My brothers mother has it, and she is a total nutjob, and I mean that in the truest sense, and gets worse every year. She lost all rights to her children when they were eleven and thirteen, and hasn't been allowed to contact them since, as per court order (six years). So yeah, don't mess around. It can lead to a terribly tragic life if not treated.

 

wow, I guess there's degrees of severity though.. I think there's some movie about a guy with BIPOLAR... played by that guy in Psycho?? Honestly, I can't remember now... but anyway, he seemed a total nutjob too. I am not like that lol... I'm not even sure I haev it now, maybe it was just low self-esteem and not thinking clearly due to being depressed or something...

 

Anyway, I see what you're all saying re. the meeting up at a club VS. the internet. I guess I am still a bit "old fashioned" when it comes to internet dating... I still feel a bit sketchy about it as is, whereas many people are very open to it, etc. But in any case, you're right, there isn't much of a difference... I think I still have my doubts on ONS I guess, and it's mainly due to pregnancy concerns and STDs... a girl at my old workplace got pregnant at a relatively young age because a condom broke and she seemed the "experienced" type if you know what I mean... very sexual, etc... I mean if SHE had problems with condoms, then it can happen to anyone.. nevermind me, the biiggest klutz ever... that's why I was posting over the summer asking about which birth control pills to take, etc... even for going out to a club, I'd still want to be protected on the pill... But it seems you're never fully protected with those things either... (ie. there's still concerns about STDs.)

 

Maybe given my moral objections to this, I should just wait until the right guy comes along...........if ever, lol. I think my main hesitation with this is that I feel like I'll never find the right guy and even before posted that I'll never get married... so given my pessimistic attitude with respect to dating and relationships, it's a bit harder for me to come to grips with my sexuality and virginity....

[Batya33]

If you have a one night stand I don't think you get to use the term "old fashioned" to describe your sexual activities.

 

I agree that you should wait - given how judgmental you are of your friend and meeting men on the internet I can just imagine how much you will beat yourself up - it's not worth it.

[BronzedSkin123]

Great, so you got it over with and have never actually enjoyed the experience....and are still wishing you knew what it felt like to enjoy sex. So what did you really accomplish by having sex with a guy you barely knew and who disappeared from your life right after the encounter. Maybe you are quite scarred from that experience and that is why you don't enjoy sex.

 

No, I am not scarred from that experience at all. I was very relieved that I got it over with, because I was obsessed with what sex would feel like, and when I finally did it, it was a bit weight lifted off of my shoulders. I wish it would have been with a much more experienced guy, that I was more attracted to--but it hasn't shattered me at all

[teknoise]

(p.s. I would like to add please don't judge me for this - it's just the reality, and as nice as it would be to have a boyfriend and so forth, I am not opposed to having my "first time" with a guy who i find physically very attractive and who I have some chemistry with emotionally, but who I cannot be in a relationship with. I don't think this is such a 'bad thing' despite the stigma some members may attach. It's just a personal choice. thank you.

 

That is definitely a very mature outlook!

 

Society seems to place way to much emphasis on people's first time having sex. Everybody's first time is going to SUCK tremendously in comparison to the window breaking sex of their (more skilled) future.

 

Sure, your first time should be somewhat memorable.. but really.. why bother with this lame idea that impossibly difficult to attain? Very few people's first time is as magical as they wanted it to be. Coming in 5 seconds, being dry like sandpaper, too nervous to enjoy anything, clumsy and awkward, how enjoyable is that?

 

ETA: Oops, didn't realize there was already 80 replies!