Red Flag?

[Pinkbunny]

During the holidays everytime my ex boyfriend would go back to his hometown he wouldn't contact me for many days (example 5-8 days). The longest we went without contact was 2 weeks. I am starting to think this was a red flag in our relationship but I'm wondering what you all think. What is acceptable vs. unacceptable amounts of time to not contact your boyfriend/girlfriend??

[sandyv]

Hey Pink, IMHO, this isn't often enough, hell I see my ex every couple of days if not more lately...

 

Merry Christmas....!

 

Tell him that isn't acceptable.... not easy, but better to get it out. Wait.. your broke up?

[Pinkbunny]

Yes. we broke up. I've been reflecting on the things I did not like about our relationship. When I brought up the calling thing (when we were together) he got mad at me and said he could "try" to work on it. But nothing changed. He would still go for long periods with not contacting me. I never understood that. Anyway I'm just wondering what everyone thinks about what is right vs. wrong in terms of how often bf's/gf's should contact each other.

[sandyv]

Well Pink, that would bother me too, when I was officially together with.... well you know.... he was here every day, or at least a few times a week.

 

I know he had and still has.... a huge problem with the phone... (he hates it).... he'd always just show up at the door, maybe your ex was like that too?

[Tethys]

How long were you dating?

 

I think that once it's official, contact should be reasonable. Two weeks is not reasonable. And not calling his girlfriend over the holidays is unacceptable.

[Pinkbunny]

thanks for your responses and honesty. We were together officially for 1 year. I started to notice the lack of contact during holidays was becoming a bad pattern in the relationship and I did not like it at the time. I would confront him about it, but like I said, his behavior never changed. It hurt me b/c during the holidays I'm really close to the ones I love, not distant. I never understood why he would act this way. When he would come back in town, after the holidays passed, he would then act like nothing happened and would call more. His lack of contact with me worried me. Anyway there were other reasons we broke up too.

[Pinkbunny]

Ps. Merry Xmas everyone!

[Tethys]

Even after six months of being together, my boyfriend called me over the holidays while out of town. We've been together almost two years now, and in the last few days he's called me every day since he's been gone visiting family for christmas.

 

I think you had every right to wonder about it!

[Pinkbunny]

Ya I figured something was wrong. I should have ended that relationship much sooner than I did

[ghost69]

i would contact my girl. if i was into her.

[Zampotne]

yeah sounds like he wasn't that into you

 

when you are away from someone for longer than a couple days and care about them- you miss them. and would contact them.

 

at least that's my opinion

[Zona76]

I believe we both needed to have contact and connection. Every night.

I mourned deeply when he went off on a preplanned vacation telling me he'd not be able to connect to me for 2 weeks. Halfway through visiting his Godfather's house, he was able to use his cousins computer.

There after we'd made a bargain that if for any reason we'd not be able to connect to the computer(messenger) we'd let the other know before hand.

Once or twice my internet at home was out. I emailed him from work the next day,

He took his Sister to his Brothers house in the country and was due to be home in a few day's.

I was out of my mind thinking he'd had some kind of car accident. When it was Lise(his Sister) who was not well and they had to remain another night.

*Lise at the time had cancer and has now passed.

 

I was more demanding I think. I depended on his contact EVERY night. He soon realized I needed his contact to sooth my mind.