CreoUCLA Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 A quick recap for those of you that don't know my story - My ex and I broke up back in early October after ~6 years together, so she basically wouldn't feel guilty about dating a co-worker she had a crush on earlier in the year (grass is greener syndrome?). I told her to stop contacting me back around Thanksgiving (I wanted to heal/move on). She continued to do so sending me a birthday present, texting my on my birthday, and more recently e-mailing/calling. Most recently (last week), she wanted to meet up with me in person and wouldn't elaborate why. I finally talked to her on the phone earlier this week, and asked her why it was so important. The result of that conversation can be found here; So the ex finally sent me my stuff back, a month after she said she would. In it, she included a card/present (it's a book). Without further ado... "Dear Mike, No matter what the future brings, I just want to tell you how much you've meant to me. And even if you may not think so, I did love you and you will always have a special place in my heart. I don't think I've stopped loving you, it's just changed to a different kind. I know this may not matter anymore to you but I will always treasure what we had. I wish you the best in everything, great happiness, and am truly sorry I do not deserve you. You are a light in the darkness, a hope beyond compare and you deserve only the best. May you love again, live life to its fullest, and have all your dreams come true. And if for some reason you find that our paths should cross again or you find room in your life for a friend, do not hesitate to share it with me. Sincerely, xxx Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and a lifetime of well wishes... until we meet again." She's right... She doesn't deserve me. I already figured that out several weeks ago. Getting back together? Yes, I got myself back together and that's what really matters! How do I know that I did get myself back/have moved on? I laughed/smiled while reading the card. Thank you everyone at eNA! This site, along with my friends and family, have given me more love/support than my ex ever did. Better days are ahead for all of us... Happy holidays everyone! -Mike- Link to comment
Hope75 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Happy Holidays Mike. Stay strong. Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 Stay strong. Always... As soon as I realized my life would be just fine with or without her, I think I started to really see that it was at least happier without her. -Mike- Link to comment
emalkoc Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 ohh God! Do they have a booklet where they pick up these words exactly like my ex would say or said in past... but keep in mind that she is leaving a door open by saying "what future brings" I would suggest to you, just send a Thanks note...And do not contact until she does for sure getting back... She does not deserve you part is just a guilt feeling but she does not Have a wonderful start to New Year! Go Vegas for me and kiss 100s girl on the strip LOL Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Awesome...great post, very happy for you-have a wonderful Holiday! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 This is great to hear, Mike! It sounds like you have a really healthy perspective on this. I hope to have a similarly healthy perspective on my situation soon. Good for you! Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 I would suggest to you, just send a Thanks note...And do not contact until she does for sure getting back... I did that for my birthday gift (in Nov.), back when I thought that I might want to get back with her... And it just brought more and more contact. Now that I'm pretty sure I don't (she hasn't changed), I think it's in my best interests to just let her go and for us to both move on. I'll be avoiding any contact from her for an indefinite amount of time. In fact, I took the card and the rings I gave her/she gave me and just threw them all in the trash. I'm over it. 2008 will be my year, and it does not include my ex. Go Vegas for me and kiss 100s girl on the strip LOL I leave on a flight to Maui (Hawaii) tomorrow morning for about 8 days. I think that'll more than make up for it... -Mike- Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 Awesome...great post, very happy for you-have a wonderful Holiday! Thank you! It sounds like you have a really healthy perspective on this. I hope to have a similarly healthy perspective on my situation soon. You will get there! Take it one day at a time, and know that you don't need anyone else to tell/show you how wonderful you really are. We are all valuable, and the sooner we take that to heart and take back control of our lives, the sooner we can smile and be truly happy. You just have to believe in yourself... -Mike- Link to comment
bostoneric Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 wow this thread really gives me hope.. I've been struggling for a few days now and today I took a step forward.. yesterday ex emailed me and I did not reply, today she called and I just hit ignore. "Just checking in on how you are doing? Have you left to visit your family for xmas? call me when you arrive there safely." I feel so much more empowered that I didn't answer the phone! Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 22, 2007 Author Share Posted December 22, 2007 wow this thread really gives me hope.. I am really glad it does, because we are here to help/support each other! I've been struggling for a few days now and today I took a step forward.. yesterday ex emailed me and I did not reply, today she called and I just hit ignore. "Just checking in on how you are doing? Have you left to visit your family for xmas? call me when you arrive there safely." I feel so much more empowered that I didn't answer the phone! Good for you! Until they really have something important to say (i.e. I made a mistake, will you ever forgive me?), then there is no point in assuaging their guilt by letting them know that they can still have/get ahold of you at any time. Heck, I just bought a new cell phone with a new number yesterday, and canceled my old one. I really am through with my ex... -Mike- Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 Wow .. that was awesome man. I am glad you are so strong! Keep it up! Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 Wow .. that was awesome man. I am glad you are so strong! Keep it up! Thanks! I'm not going to let anyone that left me bring me down... It's her loss, not mine! -Mike- Link to comment
auburnslp Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 true story Mike...her loss...glad you are happy...now...get out there and start looking for the one you are meant to be with-but take your time...patience, right? Link to comment
spazmy Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Yo Mike, Have been following your story for a while. I think you have moved forward in a lovely way. Just stay strong. There will be relapses. The stupid human mind sometimes does these backflips. But this time round, you will have the advantage of meeting those situations with considerable preparation. You will have learned from your experiences, enough to not temporary setbacks define how you feel about yourself. Stay strong and get back the life that she took away from you. Trust me, one day in the future, she'll be back and you'll be way far gone by that time. Look out for yourself. Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted December 23, 2007 Author Share Posted December 23, 2007 true story Mike...her loss...glad you are happy...now...get out there and start looking for the one you are meant to be with-but take your time...patience, right? I'm in no rush. This is the first time I've been single in ~6 years, so ~3 months isn't enough for me yet. I'm having a lot of fun hanging out with my friends (again)... Stay strong and get back the life that she took away from you. Trust me, one day in the future, she'll be back and you'll be way far gone by that time. Thanks, I appreciate it. And that's the plan - being completely healed/moved on by the time she tries to come crawling back. -Mike- Link to comment
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