i HATE that he talks to her!!!

[Hope75]

i don't trust HER.

 

I really don't think your issue is her- it's that your boyfriend knows it hurts and upsets you when he confides your relationship problems with her and that's exactly why he does it.

 

That to me seems malicious and disrespectful- he's deliberately trying to hurt you and he's doing a pretty good job of it.

 

Why are you tolerating this from him?

 

If you hate it, he knows it, and he keeps doing it with the intent of hurting you, I wonder why you are even with him.

 

I personally don't have time for this nonsense in my life- do you?

[JadedStar]

I wouldn't trust him either if he runs to her everytime you fight. However, you do have to take responsibility for your own actions to. I am not saying that this immature behavior on his part is your fault but I have this feeling that the two of you together push each other's buttons and it snowballs.

 

You are insecure and you probably nag and stress over the things he does, he in turn reacts to you by figuring "i'll show her" and goes out and does the things you hate just to one up you. Someone has to break this cycle or it will continue. If one of you stops it and the other doesn't it's time to say bye bye.

[Darkness_Falls]

Thank you for answering my questions shoegal, that gives me some more insight. See at first I was going to say that everyone does need someone to confide in, even with relationship problems. I often confided in my 2 best friends when I was having troubles with my A-hole of a bf and they helped immensly to help me sort out the problems, some of the time if was my fault and they made me see this. So what I was going to say was that it's ok for a partner to discuss things with a friend, even if his friend is a girl and 'easy'. But I will also say that if you have a problem with him doing this then it should be up for discussion between you both, maybe you don't like your private life being discussed to other people and I can understand that. I would say the most mature thing to do would be to discuss what you feel can be discussed with friends and what should just be between you both. I feel that maybe he has crossed a line with the amount he actually goes to this girl to discuss the problems you have in the relationship, relying on her a lot.

 

The fact that you have issues with trust won't be helping your mind which is probably being quite over-active with thoughts of your bf going to this girl all the time. It may be an idea to think your issues over and work out what is a rational worry (the amount your bf goes to this girl) and what is an irrational one (like him having female friends, if you have any problem with this, just taking a guess here) and write them down if you can. Even discuss them with your bf so he understands why you react the way you do to him going to this girl.

 

I feel that he's being immature if he's going to this girl solely to get back at you for something, instead of just to get some advice. It doesn't seem right and as someone said before, the cycle needs to be broken if this relationship is to be mended.

 

Hope I've made sense here.

[Rabican]

who is the her? If its just a friend then get over it.

 

However if the her is a girl that he has cheated with, or an ex girlfriend, or a girl who he has emotional/loving feelings for... then you are well within your rights to expect him to pick you, or her.

 

Its hard to give solid advice without knowing who 'her' is

[ghost69]

sounds to me like you don't trust him enough. you said HER, but if you trusted HIM, none of her actions would be relevant.