ladyblue07 Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Are you still dating the girl you mentioned in the beautiful but dumb thread? If so, well, I think that might be your problem right there. You might end up feeling a lot more fulfilled if you look for someone who is on your level intellectually. In my younger days, I tried dating guys who were good-looking but stupid. While I enjoyed their beauty, I found that I didn't really respect them on some level. Now the guy I'm involved with is on my level both intellectually and physically, and it is the easiest, happiest relationship I've ever had. I finally feel fulfilled. I think you'll be happier if you start looking for girls who are your equal and closer to your own age. Link to comment
greenmonster Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 The fact that you are having issues with your success and comparing yourself to those that had to struggle more than you, shows that you may still need to work on owning your success. owning my success...see...I've been trying to do that...to let go of comparing myself to my father or to other great individuals that I've taken inspiration from...but how can I? these were the people that I've held my life's measuring stick to...and if I don't fit the bill, I don't feel like I've accomplished enough. I guess its like I don't know where I can go from where I'm at in order to have a greater sense of accomplishment...and yet I still feel like I havn't accomplished enough...maybe I should run for president here in a couple years... Well, one thing is that you are never going to meet that "perfect match" type girl in a 20 year old body. The perfect girl will actually have some life experience. Try dating a girl that is closer to your age and you'll find that yes, a 26 year old is just as hot, if not hotter than a 20 year old. Not only are they more experienced sexually but in life as well. They've most likely finished college and have a couple years of real world life experience. They've been working, they've lived on their own, they aren't dependent on their parents. Maybe just give it a try! have you ever tried to find a 25-29 year old girl that is attractive, independent, fun, intelligent, without tons of baggage, and single? I dunno if they even exist!!! most girls that are like that have already been scooped up and married by that age... I don't mean to just go out and date 20 year olds...it just ends up that way it seems. I certainly don't turn girls down that are older than that...and if I could find that 26 year old girl thats all those things then I'd scoop her up in a second...problem is finding her is about as easy as drillin for oil with a spoon. But maybe you can take your incredible drive and channel it into a bigger challenge. You say you volunteer with inner city kids. That's great! Have you thought about what *more* you could do for them? What more do they need? Is there something really big that is lacking in their lives, and could you do something about that? Could you rally your friends and business associates to dig in and create a new program for them? Could you organize a road trip for them to visit colleges, for example? see...this is where people raise and eyebrow at me...because I draw a line in the sand and say "I am willing to give up to this much of my time and money and nothing more"...I think that I give more of myself than most people...and I do so with open and honest intentions. I don't give to be recognized for it, I give because its the right thing to do. However, I have a point that I don't cross because I feel like I have given enough. think of it like this: if you have 10 $1 bills...and those bills aren't just money, but they are your also time and energy....and to pay for your bills, pay your debt, and live your life it costs 6 of those...you would like to save 2...give 1 to church and charities...and that leaves 1 to "play" with. of course I could just give that extra 1 to charities/church...but then what are you gonna "play" with? living isn't really worth living unless your having fun with it...right? I'd stress out and fry my brain if I didn't get away every now and then. I guess its the business side of me that says "I gave more of my time, effort, and money than 99% of people my age, 95% of people in my profession, and 90% of people in my income bracket...so I have done enough" and thats where I stop. you can't help everyone... Are you still dating the girl you mentioned in the beautiful but dumb thread? If so, well, I think that might be your problem right there. You might end up feeling a lot more fulfilled if you look for someone who is on your level intellectually... ...I think you'll be happier if you start looking for girls who are your equal and closer to your own age. yes, I'm still dating her...don't know for how much longer though, seems we aren't getting along as well as we once were...she said: "I love the Wednesday night you...and I love the weekend you...but I cant stand the sunday night through friday "work" you"...she says that most nights of the week I have this business mindset that I'm not fun and that I don't pay attention to her. and frankly it's because I work late, get up and go to work early, think and focus about my job a lot, and at home I either just want to unwind and not do anything or I have work to do...sorry if that makes me a crappy boyfriend. and I'm starting to agree that a girl that has these same things going on in her life might be better for me....problem is, like I said earlier, is finding her. thanks again everyone for your thoughts...really appriciate it! Link to comment
rootcause43 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hey greenmonster. Just for giggles, what kind of law do you practice? Link to comment
MissIndigo Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 have you ever tried to find a 25-29 year old girl that is attractive, independent, fun, intelligent, without tons of baggage, and single? I dunno if they even exist!!! most girls that are like that have already been scooped up and married by that age... LOL--I was! (And I had my doctorate. )I was wondering back then where the guys like you were! Are you perhaps near a major university or other venue where you can meet some smart women who'd appreciate your drive and ambition? I doubt you'd have any problem meeting and befriending someone that could lead to something special. There are lots where I am, but being in a major metro helps too. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Never grow up it is a waste of time that could be better spent playing computer games. Link to comment
Aday5578 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Your life is where you want it to be....when you want more you will know it and go for it. You are still young.....whatever makes you happy, right? Link to comment
Celadon Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 see...this is where people raise and eyebrow at me...because I draw a line in the sand and say "I am willing to give up to this much of my time and money and nothing more"...I think that I give more of myself than most people...and I do so with open and honest intentions. I don't give to be recognized for it, I give because its the right thing to do. However, I have a point that I don't cross because I feel like I have given enough. I guess its the business side of me that says "I gave more of my time, effort, and money than 99% of people my age, 95% of people in my profession, and 90% of people in my income bracket...so I have done enough" and thats where I stop. That's fine, greenmonster. I have a charity "budget" myself and I understand needing to keep some time reserved for relaxation and just maintaining your overall well-being. Just a thought: From what you say, it sounds like you're at the top of your world. You're doing better/more than most people in your group. I think that's great. My question for you would be, though, is the measuring stick you're using the one that will lead to the fullest life? Often when someone feels like they're missing something from their life, it's a qualitative thing they're missing, not quantitative. It's not "How much MORE can I do?"; it's "How can what I'm doing be more satisfying?" It's a question of depth and connection with what you're doing; it's measured by how something touches your soul, not by whether other people are or are not doing it. Make sense? Since I don't know you, I can't quite tell if you're the type who is really good at executing on everything but perhaps isn't so much into the passionate visionary stuff -- or if there's a passionate visionary within you that's been suppressed by the part of you who is really good at what he does. If the former, maybe you need to hang out with some crazy visionary people and let them introduce you to life lived a different way. Or if you're the latter, give yourself a chance to explore things unrelated to "accomplishments" -- risk testing out ideas just because you like them, even if they go nowhere. Adventure happens when you don't know what's around the corner. Anyway, good luck to you! Link to comment
greenmonster Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 Hey greenmonster. Just for giggles, what kind of law do you practice? Mainly corporate now...don't have to completely toss out my morals anymore....I started out in on what you could call the "bad guy" side of product liability. LOL--I was! (And I had my doctorate. )I was wondering back then where the guys like you were! Are you perhaps near a major university or other venue where you can meet some smart women who'd appreciate your drive and ambition? I doubt you'd have any problem meeting and befriending someone that could lead to something special. There are lots where I am, but being in a major metro helps too. oh hell yes, I live in a great town with a great college in it...problem is that most girls I meet that go to college aren't always necessarily ambitious or driven, lots of em are just party types that are there for fun... I keep looking...but I think I may be too physically attracted to certain girls that I think too much with my pants and my brain just goes along for the ride instead of saying "hey dumbas$...find something more than just a humpbuddy" Your life is where you want it to be....when you want more you will know it and go for it. You are still young.....whatever makes you happy, right? dunno...seems like I'm doing everything that should make me happy...most guys I know would kill for my life...I just think that the shallowness of it all and all the surface level BS has finally caught up to me and I want something more satisfying. which brings me to.... Just a thought: From what you say, it sounds like you're at the top of your world. You're doing better/more than most people in your group. I think that's great. My question for you would be, though, is the measuring stick you're using the one that will lead to the fullest life? Often when someone feels like they're missing something from their life, it's a qualitative thing they're missing, not quantitative. It's not "How much MORE can I do?"; it's "How can what I'm doing be more satisfying?" It's a question of depth and connection with what you're doing; it's measured by how something touches your soul, not by whether other people are or are not doing it. Make sense? Since I don't know you, I can't quite tell if you're the type who is really good at executing on everything but perhaps isn't so much into the passionate visionary stuff -- or if there's a passionate visionary within you that's been suppressed by the part of you who is really good at what he does. If the former, maybe you need to hang out with some crazy visionary people and let them introduce you to life lived a different way. Or if you're the latter, give yourself a chance to explore things unrelated to "accomplishments" -- risk testing out ideas just because you like them, even if they go nowhere. Adventure happens when you don't know what's around the corner. Anyway, good luck to you! very very well put....and I think this is a lot of what I'm looking for. its like...sometimes on my way to work I just feel like getting out of my car...tossing the keys to a homeless guy...and just walk away from it all and disappear for a while...maybe open a corndog stand down on an island somewhere... everyone likes corndogs... Link to comment
rootcause43 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Mainly corporate now...don't have to completely toss out my morals anymore....I started out in on what you could call the "bad guy" side of product liability. Hey, makers of products need good representation. There are more than a few frivolous law suits. Link to comment
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