I'm 30...is it time for me to grow up?

[greenmonster]

ok...so...I'll start this off like an AA meeting I guess...

 

Hi, my name is Max...and I'm a 30 year old that cant seem to grow up.

 

I went to school...got a couple degrees...have a great job...excellent income...built a house...put on a suit and tie every morning and head off to an office building...I have an incredible office thats furnished with leather and dark wood furniture...I do my own taxes...I have a ROTH IRA that I personally manage...I drive a lexus...

 

but all of that is basically just a facade...

 

I still see myself like some 21 year old college guy

I go out drinking with my buddies basically every weekend.

I'm dating a 20 year old girl.

I waste an insanely stupid ammount of time playing video games.

I go out and have to buy the latest and greatest "toys".

I waste money on stupid and trivial things.

I pick my nose.

Outside of the office I only wear jeans

I still smoke, but only when I'm out at night drinking

I pay 2 latino women to come by my house every other week to clean it because I am too lazy to do it myself.

I pay to have my laundry done because I think its a waste of time.

I lie to my parents about random stuff just to avoid talking about it

I stopped seeing a really great girl because her accent annoyed the crap outta me

I got a tattoo of Calvin and Hobbes on my as$ a couple months ago

I still own my truck from college that I drive on the weekends and to go hunting..and to tailgate parties...even though it gets 8 miles to the gallon and I could afford something much better...I'm just attached to it and refuse to give it up

When I'm not dating someone I generally only hit on girls that are 8-10 years younger than me

I still read comic books sometimes

I watch a lot of cartoons

I don't want to get married unless she is perfect...and I mean 100% perfect

little kids terrify me

I hate saying that I'm wrong about something...anything really.

 

and thats just part of it I guess...

 

I guess what I'm asking is...am I in the wrong? I mean...am I missing something? am I just immature? or am I just a guy that is doing exactly what he wants in his personal life and is lucky enough to be able to fund it? am I the weird old dude at the bar? am I missing out on something by NOT being married with kids and all that at the age of 30? is there something else that I'm missing out on? when is it no longer acceptable for a guy to be able to kick a 12 year olds as$ at guitar hero?

 

I asked my girlfriend about all this...and she said that I'm not the weird guy at the bar...otherwise she wouldn't be dating me...so I guess that some reassurance...but the rest of this stuff I just dunno about...

 

anyways...thats my ponderings for the day...thanks in advance for any thoughts!

[Lionel Hutz]

Sounds fine to me. I hope to be there in 5 years. Chillen like a super villan.

[Veroni]

lol@latino women to clean your house. Im latina and I would pay another latina to clean my house.

 

No, you are fine. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You are not on drugs, you dont break the law. You just like what you like. Good for you! Most people live in misery, and dont know how to be happy. There is nothing wrong with what you do, as long as you are happy, and it doesnt hurt anybody.

 

P.S. Please give your latino maids a raise. haha

[flower99]

I find no problem with your life...Except I do think you should clean your own house & do your own laundry. that would be a huge turn off for me if my 30 year old man wouldn't clean his house & do his own laudry..I'd think he's super lazy & reconsider seeing him...but that's just me. lol

Everything else, I think is great. You're responsible at work & have fun after, sounds good to me...no problem there. Why do you ask.... Do you see a problem with it?

[rocio]

First, why is it relevant that the women who clean your home are latino?

 

And second, if you ever decide to start dating women your age, you might have trouble finding one who will take you seriously.

 

But you could just continue dating 20 year olds and then it wouldn't be a problem.

[Lionel Hutz]

BTW its Latina.

[melrich]

You don't have to do anything unless you want to. In fact if you try and lead your life as you think it should be led rather than how you want to lead it, you'll fail.

 

In my experience, you will "know" when the time is right for you to move to the another stage. Or you may, like some people I know, stay in this stage forever.

 

Either way, as long as it is where you want to be, it's OK.

[JadedStar]

Okay I know your post was serious but this made me laugh at loud:

 

when is it no longer acceptable for a guy to be able to kick a 12 year olds as$ at guitar hero?

 

I guess what I was going to say is if you CAN kick a 12 year old's A$$ at Guitar Hero you are doing pretty good...whether it is acceptable or not.

 

I don't think anything you said sounds that strange. My husband has friends who are 45 on up to 55 - THEY are the weird dudes at the bar. You can relax. (and they also have the fancy cars, great jobs, money to fund their little boy excursions...) LOL

[greenmonster]

lol@latino women to clean your house. Im latina and I would pay another latina to clean my house.

 

P.S. Please give your latino maids a raise. haha

 

hehe...I wasn't say'n that to be raceist btw...it was just to provide a little more immagry...its kind of funny...they don't speak a word of english and my spanish horribly broken.

 

I already pay em $150 and they get everything done in less than 4 hours...but with it being christmas I'm gonna toss em an extra $100 each because they really are awesome.

 

 

 

I find no problem with your life...Except I do think you should clean your own house & do your own laundry. that would be a huge turn off for me if my 30 year old man wouldn't clean his house & do his own laudry..I'd think he's super lazy...but that's just me.

Everything else, I think is great. You're responsible at work & have fun after, sounds good to me...no problem there. Why do you ask.... Do you see a problem with it?

 

I suck at cleaning...like...I am just bad at it. And I hate doing dishes...but I'm really good at messing them up. and laundry? I just think its such a waste of time...I don't even own a washer/dryer...but I have hookups for em in my house...I just use that room for a closet that holds camping/hunting/fishing gear.

 

I ask because I look around and it seems like I'm one of the only people out there doing what I'm doing with my life. sure, my buddies come over and we sit in my basement and play halo and drink all night...but at the end of the night they go home to their families and I pass out on the couch with my dog...

 

its like...my house has turned into the party house that all my friends come over and indulge in the things they would like to have but cant because of families and such and then return to their normal lives after that...

 

granted...I love the fact that I have a TV thats bigger than most homes in China...and I love the fact that I have all kinds of fun stuff to play with...but I feel like there is something missing...

 

dear god... I just surround myself with stuff and people because I'm actually lonely?!?

 

is my brain trying to tell me that its time to get married and settle down!?!?!?

[rocio]

I feel like there is something missing...

 

There's your answer.

[amtjrtcet]

It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you! You sound fun

You're a responsible, educated, sucessful guy that likes to have fun. Good for you. I find your lifestyle, hobbies, and habits kinda cute. (Except for maybe Calvin)

[greenmonster]

First, why is it relevant that the women who clean your home are latino?

 

was just to add immagry...nothing more...wasn't being raceist.

 

Okay I know your post was serious but this made me laugh at loud:

 

when is it no longer acceptable for a guy to be able to kick a 12 year olds as$ at guitar hero?

 

I guess what I was going to say is if you CAN kick a 12 year old's A$$ at Guitar Hero you are doing pretty good...whether it is acceptable or not.

 

OH yea I can...I dominate that game.

[keenan]

ok...so...I'll start this off like an AA meeting I guess...

 

Well, I guess admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting help, right?

 

Nah, I think mostly you seem normal. The cartoon tattoo, parental avoidance, and twenty-year old girlfriend tag you as young at heart, but there are different kinds of people, right? We're all looking for different things. Even as a twenty-year old I was more into the 'old soul, matured early and bloomed late' kinda guys than the 'still a frat boy on the inside' kinda guys, but there's nothing WRONG with the way that you are. In many ways it's great that you're aware of what you like and don't like and that you live it consistently. MUCH scarier are the guys who pretend to be mature family men but then spend all their time feeling trapped and miserable and living a double life because they've got a nagging partner and three little kids by the time they're 28. You'll know when and if you're ready for more.

 

Never admitting you're wrong is annoying, though.

[Atticus90]

Nothing wrong with what you do.

I'll give you something better.

 

My brother hangs out with a 32 year old pot smoker and coke dealer. He already has grey hairs and he has no job and lives with his girlfriends parents. He got kicked out of school in the 8th grade.

[rocio]

 

OH yea I can...I dominate that game.

 

I would put you to shame.

[flower99]

but I feel like there is something missing...

 

dear god... I just surround myself with stuff and people because I'm actually lonely?!?

 

is my brain trying to tell me that its time to get married and settle down!?!?!?

 

That's quite possible. Maybe you need to do some soul searching (: search yourself & find what it is you feel you're missing or if you are missing anything.

 

Think about things....Don't jump to conclusions. But do give this A Lot of thought, if it's crossing your mind now it's probably for a reason. You might be getting ready to want more.

is this something you've been pondering for some time? or just today?

[caro33]

I actually think 30 is still pretty young when it comes to marriage and settling down. We seem to keep getting younger and younger these days in our emotional outlook and capacity for commitment.

 

My only 'concern' is the need to date much younger women. Now, it may well be you pick the mature ones, but tell me, is it personality or a hot body you are after as a priority? I think that choosing a partner primarily based on looks might be a tad shallow. Not that I am saying that's what you do, but if it is and you feel there's something missing, then maybe it's not about 'growing up' but about your values. There's nothing that says you can't be a settled, committed guy who also loves video games, his old truck etc etc. To me it is just how your prioritise your interests...

[greenmonster]

It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you! You sound fun

You're a responsible, educated, sucessful guy that likes to have fun. Good for you. I find your lifestyle, hobbies, and habits kinda cute. (Except for maybe Calvin)

 

pfft...Calvin & Hobbes rock...hehe

 

Nothing wrong with what you do.

I'll give you something better.

 

My brother hangs out with a 32 year old pot smoker and coke dealer. He already has grey hairs and he has no job and lives with his girlfriends parents. He got kicked out of school in the 8th grade.

 

wow...sounds like a real winner...I went through my drug expirament days in college and those are long gone now...cant believe people do that stuff until it runs their lives into the ground...just sad

 

I would put you to shame.

 

haha...oh probably...I cant quite beat 2 or 3 it in expert mode...but I'm down to the last couple songs on each...

 

is this something you've been pondering for some time? or just today?

 

about two months now

[JadedStar]

I think we do ourselves a grave disservice when we feel we are supposed to act a certain way when we reach a certain age.

 

I think the problem is you don't feel fulfilled. THat is what you need to dig into because still being goofy like a young person is something you should hang onto for as long as you can. Whenever you meet a person who lost their inner child you can tell almost right away because they are so boring and lack a certain umph for life.

 

I agree with Caro above that if you consistently are migrating to younger women then yeah, there might be a maturity issue at play but I can think of far worse things for a person to be guilty of.

[Atticus90]

Besides, no one wants to feel old. Atleast you still got that kid spirit

[greenmonster]

to be 100% honest...I migrate to younger women because they are generally hot and easier to pick up on.

 

I guess I am just too lazy(or scared of what the result could be) to apply myself into finding someone I could get into a serious relationship with, so instead I look for the pretty little thing to have a couple month fling with.

 

is that so bad?

 

I mean...like someone posted...at least I'm not fooling myself or anyone else by being trapped in a marriage with kids that I cant stand or something...

[amtjrtcet]

to be 100% honest...I migrate to younger women because they are generally hot and easier to pick up on.

 

I guess I am just too lazy(or scared of what the result could be) to apply myself into finding someone I could get into a serious relationship with, so instead I look for the pretty little thing to have a couple month fling with.

 

is that so bad?

 

I mean...like someone posted...at least I'm not fooling myself or anyone else by being trapped in a marriage with kids that I cant stand or something...

 

Its not bad as long as you're up front with these women about what you are or aren't looking for.

 

But you're posting b/c you feel something is missing right?? do you think its a meaningful relationship that's missing?

[JadedStar]

to be 100% honest...I migrate to younger women because they are generally hot and easier to pick up on.

 

I guess I am just too lazy(or scared of what the result could be) to apply myself into finding someone I could get into a serious relationship with, so instead I look for the pretty little thing to have a couple month fling with.

 

is that so bad?

 

I mean...like someone posted...at least I'm not fooling myself or anyone else by being trapped in a marriage with kids that I cant stand or something...

 

 

It wouldn't be so bad if you were not posting threads saying you feel "something is missing". Maybe deep down you are not as okay with the hot "young thing" for a couple of months fun as you think you are. Maybe you are growing bored with that and this is the reason for feeling slightly lost. Dunno....just a thought.

 

Your post above sounds more like you are convincing yourself than any of us here.

[flower99]

^^^ I agree Great words Jaded star.

 

 

I think we do ourselves a grave disservice when we feel we are supposed to act a certain way when we reach a certain age.

 

I think the problem is you don't feel fulfilled. THat is what you need to dig into because still being goofy like a young person is something you should hang onto for as long as you can. Whenever you meet a person who lost their inner child you can tell almost right away because they are so boring and lack a certain umph for life.

 

 

I also agree with this. please don't feel like you have to meet someone/societies standards by a certain age..ect.

 

But if you've been pondering this for 2 months now..you DO have a feeling of unfulfillment. And you need to look into that & find out what it is you're missing. whether it's a lack of fullfilment in your job, a family, a wife or God..just search yourself, rediscover yourself & find what you're looking for. But keep your inner child. Cause that's the funniest side of a person (:

[caro33]

I agree that it's not bad as long as you are happy with it (and not treating the women badly). So the issue is if you are happy with it.

 

What do you see 35 year old you doing? What leaves you cold as a concept (a wife and a dog or still partying with the youngsters?) and what makes you feel warm and fuzzy for Future You?