I feel like a horrible person but i find it absolutly funny

[velvetapathy]

So this might come out as mean however this is how I feel...

 

I dated my ex for 2 1/2 years about july of this year she told me that she was no longer "in" love with me and that we need to break up... that something had changed. I did like everyone else i begged i pleaded i tried to be the friend in the background... about 2 months ago she started sleeping with her roommate and told me it was just physical... i knew better so i backed off and we have been in low contact ever since. With this time apart i have done a lot of reflection and realized that she was not the one for me that there will be someone else out there, so i really have no desire to get back together with her.

 

Forward to tonight... I get a weird text asking about setting up wireless on the computer that I left for her, alright after a quick conversation I find out that she has moved back in with her mother and has had her little heartbroken by this roommate as she was good enough to sleep with but he did not want a relationship... she is absolutely devastated lot's of crying and i believe she was drinking heavily( not normal). Anyway after a long conversation with her about how she is not a horrible person she gets all cheerful and is talking about us being heartbroken together( * * * ??). I kindly told her that she is on her own in this one... she proceeded to drink and ramble for a good portion of the night through txt messages most of which went ignored.

 

Maybe i am just being mean but i am finding this entire situation funny when she was talking about us being heartbroken together it took almost everything i had not to burst into laughter... anyone else have your ex come running back to you crying about a broken heart?

[Pinkbunny]

No I haven't had this experience. I have had ex's try to run back, but by then I was over it and it was just to late. I guess its laughable is how sorry ex's claim they are after the facts of their own behavior and actions. And how ex's claim they never intended to cause any hurt. I got one word: Karma.

[velvetapathy]

That is pretty much what i was thinking... what goes around comes around. I know it sounds bad but I feel a bit better that someone crushed her heart, maybe now she will take some time and learn from these experiences instead of jumping from one guy to the next with little thought as to why it failed with the other one or so it would seem.

[HeartSounds]

Pinkbunny is right, KARMA!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It may be Karma, but I am not so sure it is funny. I think it is natural to feel a sense of satisfaction that what goes around comes around...however, it is sad to see someone really lose it. Once she sobers up she will probably feel humiliated. I understand she hurt you badly and possibly strung you along...but I still see no point in finding her situation funny...just kind of sad.

[shes2smart]

There's a word for this. It's link removed.

 

While I doubt it's going to earn you any points on Santa's "good" list, I think it's in our nature to go this route sometimes. If you do, though, I think it's best kept to yourself (i.e. don't flaunt it to her face or any mutual friends' faces) and indulge in it very, very sparingly. If you keep a journal, a few lines or a couple paragraphs would be the ideal place to express it and indulge, IMO. That way, it gets it out of your head and harms no one.

[velvetapathy]

There's a word for this. It's link removed.

 

While I doubt it's going to earn you any points on Santa's "good" list, I think it's in our nature to go this route sometimes. If you do, though, I think it's best kept to yourself (i.e. don't flaunt it to her face or any mutual friends' faces) and indulge in it very, very sparingly. If you keep a journal, a few lines or a couple paragraphs would be the ideal place to express it and indulge, IMO. That way, it gets it out of your head and harms no one.

 

For me writing it here was pretty much it none of my friends except for one will probably ever hear about it... The feelings of humor and satisfaction have faded and now I feel kind of bad about it as she is someone that I care a lot about and was a big part of my life. she seems to of genuinely liked this guy and a part of me does kind of wish that it had worked out for her.

[shes2smart]

For me writing it here was pretty much it none of my friends except for one will probably ever hear about it... The feelings of humor and satisfaction have faded and now I feel kind of bad about it as she is someone that I care a lot about and was a big part of my life. she seems to of genuinely liked this guy and a part of me does kind of wish that it had worked out for her.

 

That you feel bad about having that brief glee about her misery is an indication that you're basically a decent human being and probably a caring individual. Congratulations on not being an a-hole jerk.

 

We're talking about someone who has hurt you in the past, so it's not surprising that some small part of you is deriving some sort of satisfaction from seeing her suffer some similar hurt. Yeah, it's a little mean and probably a little juvenile...but it's a small part of a much larger palette of emotions you have. You keep that kind of thing in perspective by acknowledging it exists, finding a way to express it that is not hurtful/harmful to anyone, and not letting it influence any actions you decide to take. When it's acknowledged/expressed, it's much easier to let go.

 

It'd be different if you were finding humor/joy in the misery of random people or groups of people who you didn't know or have a connection with. That might make you a cruel, mean-spirited person at best and a sociopath at worst...but that's not the case. Here, we're talking about someone you have a history with. Unless you're some sort of God-like perfect person, I think it's natural to have some feelings along the lines of "Good, she got what she deserved" with what happened in this situation. As long as you don't use those emotions in an intentionally hurtful way or allow them to dictate your actions, I don't see where there's anything to feel bad or guilty about.

[jettison]

It may be Karma, but I am not so sure it is funny. I think it is natural to feel a sense of satisfaction that what goes around comes around...however, it is sad to see someone really lose it. Once she sobers up she will probably feel humiliated. I understand she hurt you badly and possibly strung you along...but I still see no point in finding her situation funny...just kind of sad.

 

I agree. If you really believe in Karma, then you must also believe that at some point someone will be laughing about you and your heartbreak as well. Karma isn't reserved for certain moments or certain people. It's there for everyone.

 

My ex (actually 2 ex's ago) called me last week. She sounded really relieved to talk to me. She said that she was finding it difficult to make friends in her new town of a 1 year, and that she broke down with one of the few friends she had recently and told the friend "I miss my ex" and cried all night.

 

All I could say was, "Well, I'm your friend." I definitely wasn't feeling superior, or self-righteous, or giddy. I just felt sad for her. She also told me that she was on a half bottle of wine.

 

When we talked again a few days later, she was much more reserved, and I could tell that she probably felt embarrased. Life isn't a contest to see who can be better or more well adjusted then the next person. Or if your life is that contest then it's liable to be an awfully frustrating life.

[velvetapathy]

I agree that someday someone will get a brief moment of laughter from my heartbreak.

 

This was only a brief moment as the feelings from earlier have long since passed and like you I just kind of feel sad for her now.