Does it really have to be so complicated ?

[Fritz The Cat]

When you're young, it's easy. you meet, you fall in love, you live happily ever after (it least that's the way you see it at the moment). As you get older, you have to analyze everything and everybody. Even chemistry has to be taken apart and looked at from ever angle possible. And worst of all, you have to JUDGE you potential mate according to your own built in standards and prejudices.

 

What ever happened to just going with the feeling? Are we so scarred by past experiences that we can no longer experience love the way it was meant to be experienced? I think so.

[Ampire]

When you're young, it's easy. you meet, you fall in love, you live happily ever after (it least that's the way you see it at the moment). As you get older, you have to analyze everything and everybody. Even chemistry has to be taken apart and looked at from ever angle possible. And worst of all, you have to JUDGE you potential mate according to your own built in standards and prejudices.

 

What ever happened to just going with the feeling? Are we so scarred by past experiences that we can no longer experience love the way it was meant to be experienced? I think so.

 

interesting question.....I couldn't answer it but I agree with what you are saying

[hopefulromantic79]

I think so, too. When I was younger (heck, even 2 years ago) I had these romantic notions about someone loving me completely, all my strengths and flaws and experiences that made me unique. Instead I was changed into a person he wanted me to be...and now I feel like I lost a very big part of myself that I don't know if I'll ever get back. This is not what love was supposed to feel like.

 

But I've learned that I also need to get better at accepting people for who they are. Very few find their "ideal" in life ... and if they do, they are darn lucky! I know one thing ~ if you have the gifts of compassion, forgiveness and loyalty, love is much easier to find. But you have to make sure you find someone else with these qualities ... I picked someone with none of them and am in a huge amount of pain as a result.

 

Maybe love is supposed to be easy...and if it isn't, then you know something is wrong. My ex always said that to me...maybe he was right about that (even though his rigid thinking was one of the major problems in the relationsihp).

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, there's some truth in that.

 

Then again, I think it's just part of the process of moving on from the last love we had. Analyze to death, learn what we need to learn, gain back our legs, then one day...

 

boom. It's easy again and you wonder how you got there. Easy but not so blind as it was.

 

I'm looking forward to it. I figure I've got a better chance now of finding genuine love than I ever did.

[Pocket Rocket]

I think the issue is that most of us live in communities where we are not taught how to handle our grief and the hurt we have experienced in past relationships so the pain and fear accumulates. When you're younger it's easier to love because you haven't been hurt (of course, this is relative), as you grow older and have been through enough painful relationships it is easy to become cynical because we are afraid of opening up and being hurt again

 

Just my two cents, but it would be great if it weren't really the case

[Lana0120]

You're never the same after bad experiences. You're a different person I guess.

[ghost69]

when you get older, you end up rounding off the crap that you put up with before. you are more analytical and critical of the personalities and physicalities of what you want. when you are younger you are free spirited and don't care. you can date just about anybody.

[Merrick]

The older we get, the more jaded we are. We have had many experiences by the time we hit about 30 that we focus on the "what if's" and the "why's" and "will this one be right" that we lose the ability to just enjoy. I think everyone does that especially women once we hear that proverbial clock ticking.