Is it true?

[Boredoutofskull]

I've got some advice from my older brother about girls, he says they want what they cant have, so He told me to just leave them alone...is that true, he's had a lot of girlfriends, hot ones too...but he was kinda drunk when he said it...Is it true?

[Censored]

Yes that can be true. People want what they see as valuable. If you are always there, then you lose some of your perceived value. it is very much a matter of "wanting what you can't have".

 

However if you turn this into a game, then sometimes that all it remains, a game. And then people come on this forum, like i did, asking questions about "What do i do next" , "Should I call" blah blah....

 

Try to avoid it if it turns into a game

[Konfetkette]

Yes it's true!!!! But don't over do it or they will think you are not interested!

It's like a toy.. When you were little, you didn't really value a toy your mom bought you, but when you had to go get your own, I bet you still have it on your shelf and think if it as a treasure!

[matts0344]

Not from my experience.

 

I basically leave girls alone, I have never got a girlfriend this way.

 

I've never got one by being aggressive or being passive. Though I got a *bit* close to having one by being more aggessive.

[Zackinlaw]

There may be some truth to it for some girls, but none that I would ever want to be in a relationship with. Sure, some very sad women are attracted to "bad boys" ... but unless you really ARE a bad boy ... they will probably drop you once you show real interest.

 

Zack.

[Jayar]

The trouble when guys play hard to get is that it doesn't work very well on girls who are used to being hard to get... And biology isn't really working in your favour to play aloof when it comes to the mating game.

[Ex_Nihilo]

The trouble when guys play hard to get is that it doesn't work very well on girls who are used to being hard to get... And biology isn't really working in your favour to play aloof when it comes to the mating game.

 

I would disagree.

 

If a guy had a girl on each of his arms I bet all the other girls would notice and wonder what is special about him. They would then fight for his attention and try to win him over. This, however, wouldn't be true if the same guy tried to gain the girls approval by doing things for her and giving her his undivided attention.

[Jayar]

I would disagree.

 

If a guy had a girl on each of his arms I bet all the other girls would notice and wonder what is special about him. They would then fight for his attention and try to win him over. This, however, wouldn't be true if the same guy tried to gain the girls approval by doing things for her and giving her his undivided attention.

 

Honestly, it depends on the type of girl. I wouldn't wonder what's special about a guy who had a girl on each arm... I'd pity the lack of self worth in both girls for willing to share. I certainly wouldn't be fighting to win him over. If you asked my boyfriend, he'd be sure to confirm that doing things for me and giving me his attention worked pretty well for him.

[Ex_Nihilo]

If your BF was a pushover would you still want him? If so, what about him makes him different from all the other pushovers giving you attention?

[Zackinlaw]

If you asked my boyfriend, he'd be sure to confirm that doing things for me and giving me his attention worked pretty well for him.

 

That would certainly be MY plan with someone i really cared about.

 

Zack.

[Jayar]

If your BF was a pushover would you still want him? If so, what about him makes him different from all the other pushovers giving you attention?

 

Well, there's a whole lot of middle ground in between "girl on each arm" and "pushover"... My boyfriend is neither. And what makes him different than the other pushovers (as you put it)? The fact that I picked HIM. Out of all the other guys, he was the one that was "it" for me. It's really as simple as that. And that isn't to say the reason the OTHER guys weren't "it" was because they were "pushovers".

 

Okay my "air quoting fingers" are getting tired... Haha!

[Ex_Nihilo]

Well, there's a whole lot of middle ground in between "girl on each arm" and "pushover"... My boyfriend is neither. And what makes him different than the other pushovers (as you put it)? The fact that I picked HIM. Out of all the other guys, he was the one that was "it" for me. It's really as simple as that. And that isn't to say the reason the OTHER guys weren't "it" was because they were "pushovers".

 

Okay my "air quoting fingers" are getting tired... Haha!

 

If that is the case then good for you and your boyfriend.

[servedcold]

I've got some advice from my older brother about girls, he says they want what they cant have, so He told me to just leave them alone...is that true, he's had a lot of girlfriends, hot ones too...but he was kinda drunk when he said it...Is it true?

 

They have to want you to want what they can't have, so leaving them alone won't work until you build reputation or social value. How to build social value? Be an interesting person with an interesting life.

[Dating Coach]

I've got some advice from my older brother about girls, he says they want what they cant have, so He told me to just leave them alone...is that true, he's had a lot of girlfriends, hot ones too...but he was kinda drunk when he said it...Is it true?

 

Boredoutofskull,

 

This is one of those topics that everyone has discussed before, that everyone makes assumptions or generalizations about, but something that is almost always misconstrued.

 

"Girls want what they can't have."

 

That's a general statement. It sounds smart when people say this stuff, just like when people say, "It's not about the whole staircase... it's about the next step!" I just want to smack those people for thinking they are actually offering any advice that holds value. It's just something people say because they can't offer REAL advice.

 

"Girls want what they can't have."

 

What does that really mean? That you have to play hard to get? That's another piece of general advice that people like to say because they can't explain it any better or don't really understand. It's so easy to say "Play hard to get" but what does that mean?

 

It's all about attraction. What it comes down to is what impression you are sending out to girls when you interact with them. If you are talking to a girl that you met that you like, and are nodding your head to everything she is saying, if you are rushing to bring her a drink or give her a ride somewhere... you're basically telling her that she's better than you, above you per say. Because why are you not being an independent individual around her? Why are you filling the role of a lackey or a servant? You don't do that to people whom are your equal. So if you are behaving in a manner that is putting your own needs in the back seat and are making an effort to please a person into liking you, then you are showing them that you believe they are better than you are. No girl is going to be attracted to someone that is telling them that she is better than him. It's not about being nice, because that's not nice, that's weak. That's what is behind "Girls want what they can't have." Because if you are giving them everything right up front, you're not presenting yourself as her equal. You're acting like she is better than you, and that is unattractive.

 

That's why your brother get's success. I seriously doubt that he is sending out signals to women that they are above him. He probably acts himself and treats them like he would everyone else. No special favors... at least not without giving them a little trouble first. He's not giving himself to easily to girls, he's putting himself first and watching after himself. But he's not being a jerk, he's just being a normal healthy person. I bet he flirts a lot and shows no fear in joking around or talking to these girls. He basically is presenting himself to these girls as a independent strong guy. That is attractive. He's not following them around going, "Hey, can I tag along on your life's journey?" He's saying, "My life is fun, you should tag along!" which shows him as interesting and mature.

 

So what is being a challenge? Being a challenge isn't an effort to make things difficult for girls. That's where most people misconstrue that piece of advice and the thing that most people whom give that advice don't explain or understand themselves. Being a challenge isn't about making an effort to be difficult. Being a challenge is just about being a independent healthy person. You've got your own life and goals ahead of you. You care about yourself, you have plans for yourself, and making your own life happy is numero uno on your agenda. If a great girls meets you, you would like her to come along on your life's journey and enhance it to make it even better, but you don't NEED it to be happy and live a healthy life. That is attractive. That is being a challenge. Being a challenge is about NOT giving up yourself in order to please others. That's it. It's about independence. Strength of self.

 

Watch your brother when he meets and flirts with girls. I bet he does not fill the role of "My job is to make you happy and hope that my efforts to be your servant cause you to say, 'wow you are so nice, wouldn't it be great if you were my boyfriend'?" I bet he just has fun for himself and flirts with girls and in turn they like him because he seems cool.

[ghost69]

I've got some advice from my older brother about girls, he says they want what they cant have, so He told me to just leave them alone...is that true, he's had a lot of girlfriends, hot ones too...but he was kinda drunk when he said it...Is it true?

 

to an extent. you just can't be so eager. a lot of women don't like a guy that is so accessible.