The guy who gets the most rejection = the most numbers?

[RedPenguin]

Well here is my question then.

 

If it's not guaranteed that I will or anyone will ever find a partner, then are my chances at least high or reasonable?

 

I mean, I feel that I'm a fairly cool guy that deserves a nice and respectable girl, that actually respects me, treats me well, and actually likes me.

 

Am I wrong in anything that I just said?

[Entropy Smith]

You need some attitude dude.

 

Deserve? Deserve has got nothing to do with it. Lots of guys who "deserve"

relationships get nada.

[ComputerGuy]

Next time a girl tells you to get away tell them "Don't flatter yourself, you're not exactly the most charming person either it seems"

[Pegasus]

Well here is my question then.

 

If it's not guaranteed that I will or anyone will ever find a partner, then are my chances at least high or reasonable?

 

I mean, I feel that I'm a fairly cool guy that deserves a nice and respectable girl, that actually respects me, treats me well, and actually likes me.

 

Am I wrong in anything that I just said?

 

Yes, you're totally wrong here. But again, you're under 20 so we won't take it that seriously ;-). See, even if you're the best person in the world and no matter how much you think that you (or anybody else for that matter) deserve someone great has nothing to do with reality.

 

In this world, bad people get everything or nothing - so is with good people. Being good or bad does not make the difference what will you get in the end. If you're good person so you would "deserve" something, then you're on the wrong track to begin with and not so good person after all.

 

If you want to be a good person...if YOU want to be a good person, then be a good person. But if you want to be a good person because you think you will DESERVE more in life - than I have to tell you there are some huge disappointments you will face.

 

How do I know that? Because I was the same guy - great guy, guy you can always rely on when you're in trouble. But I was that guy because I thought I would "deserve" something good. But, that didn't happen. Instead, I got very bad things happen to me. Then I decided I won't try to be good anymore. I will just be me, not better or worst than that. Just me. If somebody does not like it - it's their's problem. I just have to like myself and my responsibility is not to make other people to like me.

 

Again, you're young, you will learn in time....

[RedPenguin]

I see exactly what you mean now.

 

It almost sounds like everything is negative though.

 

Not that I am a negative person or someone who likes or wants to look for the negatives, but it doesn't seem like the dating scene is really that great. LoL.

 

I just wish I didn't have nervousness. Like with this girl I'm going to talk to on Monday, I feel like, I know exactly what to do, like I have no problems. Yet at the same time, my mind is going, oh s***, what am I going to do? LoL.

 

I know that I can face rejection, yet at the same time, I don't want it. Well I don't know anyone who wants it.

 

I think I have a good chance with her or at least it feels like it, unless of course she ends up being taken, but if not, it still feels good. I can't explain it or describe why, but she seems not like an easy catch or anything, but she doesn't seem snobby or a little princess or anything.

 

She seems like a nice respectable girl. I hope my feelings are right though. I thought a couple of girls were nice and respectable, then they ended up treating me like s*** and acting like idiots. I seriously doubt this girl is like that though.

 

She seems more towards the shy, quiet, and individual type. I mean, every time I see her, she seems to keep to herself mostly, doesn't seem to be talking to everyone that she sees. Even when she's not at her desk in the library and in the student lounge, she only seems to sit by herself and not have 25 people around her. But then again, she may just not have her social circle really at the college.

 

Though the funny part, with those other girls, that I felt were mature and nicer girls, I think I always deep down felt that they really were not that nice and worth it, but still ended up trying for them anyway and almost always got rejected. I should learn to more appropriately learn negative body language, so that I don't get rejected by every single girl I try for, for the rest of my life.

 

Not saying that I couldn't get rejected for the rest of my life, but at least I could increase my chances of not being rejected.

[Siriana]

 

You mean to tell me that even in college, girls are not mature? That's stupid in my opinion. I mean do they ever act normal?

 

 

18 year old, mature????

Yeah, right.

Of course they're not.

 

See if you're doing anything wrong or you're flirting with wrong girls.

 

Avoid girls who hang out in large groups, and who find it the most important thing who knows whom and who wears what. They're still mentaly in high school.

 

Also I must say I admire your will to learn and to be persistent.

Thats gonna take you far.

[RedPenguin]

18 year old, mature????

Yeah, right.

Of course they're not.

 

See if you're doing anything wrong or you're flirting with wrong girls.

 

Avoid girls who hang out in large groups, and who find it the most important thing who knows whom and who wears what. They're still mentaly in high school.

 

Also I must say I admire your will to learn and to be persistent.

Thats gonna take you far.

 

Thank you, and this girl I'm going to try for on Monday, who doesn't appear at all to hang out in large groups.

 

I noticed also, it seems like, girls who talk to many people in the room, seem to be the ones that I find out I shouldn't have or should not go for, because they tend to be ones that treat me wrong or something.

[CaptainPlanet]

Yes if you learn from your mistakes no if you take is personally or if you don't learn from them.

[insofar]

RedPenguin: Have you read Diggity's Guide to Successful Dating? I'm not sure I agree with everything in it but you might want to look at the "Nice Guy" stereotype. Nothing you've said here necessarily indicates you fit it but it would explain your rejection if you do. Anyway, regardless of that, it's still a good read.

[RedPenguin]

Yes, I just looked at it right now.

 

I think I must better understand what type of guy many girls want.

 

They don't want a complete nice guy but not a jerk either.

 

That's funny, I asked on here how to approach this one girl, and they said talk to her at least 3 times before asking her out but that guide says do it right away, LoL.

[boo121]

Yeah, I guess you all are right.

 

I just wonder what will happen with this librarian on Monday. She seems like she may be possibly interested. So far, she hasn't given me any dirty looks, even when not at work, and hasn't ignored me at all. LoL.

 

You sorting out this stuff called "dating" at 19. By the time you are 21 (same age as me) you will have most of this figured out. By the time you are 25 ull probablly be able to get any girl you want. There are people who are 30 even 40 still trying to figure this stuff out...

 

I think you're going to be okay haha! stick with it.

[insofar]

I will say that for me, I've always ended up befriending a woman before asking her out or whatever. But I think the important thing is that you can't mask your intentions; if you do start to like her, you should ask her out sooner rather than later. Because at that point you want her as more than a friend, and remaining just a friend might ultimately be dishonest.

[ghost69]

the guy that get rejected the most = he has the most experience at hand. how he chooses to use it is how he will eventually get a phone number.

[boo121]

the guy that get rejected the most = he has the most experience at hand. how he chooses to use it is how he will eventually get a phone number.

 

Just cos u get a girls number... doesnt mean its going anywhere, but yes you're right, if you keep at it, ull start to get it.

[ghost69]

Just cos u get a girls number... doesnt mean its going anywhere, but yes you're right, if you keep at it, ull start to get it.

 

oh i know. i'm just saying you learn skills. and i'm not talking about how to be a player skills. i'm talking in being able to talk to women and knowing what best works for you.