theonethatiwant Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Anyone other than me tired of thinking about "them" and what they are doing when they might come back what you want to do with your life in the meantime when will you stop dreaming about them?????? Yes I have a full life, friends, work, family etc. but these repetitive thoughts wear me down sometimes. I challenge all of us, myself included, to STOP for the day. Stop exhausting ourselves. Today I filled my house with food (how many of you don't feed yourselves as often?) I am cleaning out the clutter in my house, as I can no longer distinguish between the cat fur and the spider webs, and intend to focus on only one conundrum- why does my cat prefer to drink water out of the bathtub, when I'm in it, rather than any other water dish I give her???? Link to comment
Entropy Smith Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 This is a very powerful attitude to take. Oddly enough, "Them" have a way of coming around once you've put yourself first. Link to comment
StretchGee Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Anyone other than me tired of thinking about "them" and what they are doing when they might come back what you want to do with your life in the meantime when will you stop dreaming about them?????? Yes I have a full life, friends, work, family etc. but these repetitive thoughts wear me down sometimes. I challenge all of us, myself included, to STOP for the day. Stop exhausting ourselves. My 'them' is not an ex, but I know how repetitive thoughts (obsession?) can sap your energy and rob you of living in the moment. If find telling myself to ‘stop!’ each time the same thread pops into my head very helpful. It may keep coming back, but if I don’t entertain it I can eventually feel my energy and presense become fuller. I don't have a cat and I usually take showers, so can't help you there. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Hehee. My cat hates water until I'm in the tub - then she'll dip her little paws in there and splash water around. I think they like the attention. Maybe they like the fear in our eyes when claws are near naked bodies! Good for you! Yeah, 'them' isn't my ex anymore, but I worry too much. Took the trash out early this morning so feel ok indulging on the comp for a while. Link to comment
Jeffster Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 This is an excelent thread and an awesome idea. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but i, personally don't see any way in hell how I could pull this off. It borders on the impossible. I do, however, think I may be able to use this thread to reduce the number of my obsessive thoughts, thereforeeee, I accept this challenge and I will let you know how it goes and what I have learned! Thank you! Link to comment
rokston Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 great idea!! ... oops i failed already today though. maybe i can postpone till tomorrow Link to comment
theonethatiwant Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 ha ha I just found five wineglasses with varying stages of science experiments growing, tucked next to the couch... Practicing self care can be tough even when you are living your life, the little things are insidious...I absolutely refuse to fall asleep on the couch tonight. Ok Jeffster if you've taken the challenge what banal conundrums can you fill your head with instead? Link to comment
spazmy Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Count me in pardners. Starting this AM, I will try and live this day for myself. TheonethatIwant - am with you buddy. We can totally do this. Let us say this is a one day vacation from our memories of our ex. Allrighty folks, let us see how many of you are on and can do this. Link to comment
winkie Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 That is funny because I just vowed that for the next two weeks until we meet again to talk about us.........I will not think about him, us or anything else that as to do with him. I wish you luck as well as myself. This is a very powerful attitude to take. Oddly enough, "Them" have a way of coming around once you've put yourself first. I agree with this quote so much in a way things also happen when you are okay by yourself and then it scuks you back in that damn lovebug!!!! Link to comment
Catlike Thief Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I wish I had the strength to do this, easier said than done but I admire you for trying. Link to comment
theonethatiwant Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 In my way with my own bizarre mix of humor and nurturing, I want to lift the pall that sometimes exists on this forum. So I know that of course we are all going through situational depression of some degree. We all know the traditional stages anger grief blah blah blah I'll give you my take and then offer suggestions for today to help us meet the challenge... 1. Meat puppet stage, you are in a fetal position behind the kitchen door, bathing is out, speaking comprehensibly is out, drool is in. 2. Pants on stage, your biggest accomplishment is putting on your pants, it's a good day.. 3. walking dead stage, some primeviel (OK so in your forties you forget how to spell) form of hunger drives you out of the house but people are frightened especially bag boys at the supermarket. 4. Chocolate is good stage, when you get to the part where you realize you like one thing more than another you are returning to function. 5. the stage that goes on for a very long time stage; your friends are tired of hearing it. YOUR tired of hearing it, you're back to work you look and smell fairly normal people no longer shy away from you on the street BUT the cacophany in your head is making you crazy. Composing letters emails conversations..... There are probably a lot more stages but once you begin to feel better you no longer think about it. SO Today Nurture yourself. Go buy some real food. This means food that has recently been growing walking around swimming or has just come out of something that is still walking around. Cooking is very theraputic and nurturing yourself with good food is the ultimate metaphor. Wash your sheets... come on I'm not the only one who fell down here since he left... Go OUT to see a movie you want to see. Call someone who doesn't even know you are a relationship amputee talk about something new. Put something on you somewhere that smells good. Plant something. Read, absolutely no self help Sh8t....David Sedaris works today.... Paint draw whatever no one ever has to see it. That grey ring in your bathtub did not come with it...scrub it off. Sing really really loud. Then tell us what you did today. Imagine more todays... Like meditation the object here is not NO thought. If it comes up recognize it and move on to something else. well the cat looks thirsty, time to go soak in a hot tub. Later Link to comment
deleted-account Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 This would be very hard for me to do. When I tell myself to not think about something, I end up thinking about it more. Link to comment
thinkstoohard Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 why does my cat prefer to drink water out of the bathtub, when I'm in it, rather than any other water dish I give her???? I accept the challenge. The conundrum I'm going to think about: Why does my cat drink from the toilet rather than the really cool water dish I bought him? Even if the lid is down he won't drink from his bowl. He just MEOWS really loud until I put the lid up! Link to comment
theonethatiwant Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 The secret language of cats....mine will risk falling into the tub in order to drink while I 'm in it rather than drink fresh water out of her bowl the conundrum expands. P.S. folks your not trying not to think about it. Just do some small things to replace the thoughts just thinking about what you'll do to fulfill the challenge shifts your focus... Other thought replacements: Why do dogs always rush up to the one person in a crowd that does not want to pet them? Why are snack foods hermetically sealed so that you need a swat team to open them when they already contain enough preservatives to embalm a small animal? Why do very expensive electronics or appliances have intrinsic operating parts that are a 2cent dohickey made of cheap plastic that inevitably breaks rendering the entire thing useless? Here's a pet one for me...why do hotel rooms feel the need to contain a multitude of mirrors and then highlight them with flourescent lights so that if you are on the road a lot you begin to think you resemble the loch ness monster....horrifying- no human could think this is a good idea so the rooms must manifest this themselves come on guys whats on your mind now? Link to comment
emalkoc Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I woke this morning realizing...I have not heard from her over 8 days...I started crying in the bed even though 3mos passed. I cannot stop it.. I am a smart, pretty handsome, "nice guy", and caring person. Everything else going for me....What did I deserve to feel this? I know things will be OK eventually..but gosh I want to rip this pain out..Because I loved her nothing like before...I could turn this world upside down for her now, right now... I wish she could hear my telepathic waves...but my dignity would get lost... I cannot describe my pain even writing these words... I accept the challenge and I will go surfing today in cold waters of Pacific..Driving to coast in few minutes....probably crying every inch of 100 miles... Link to comment
HappyAsALark Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Just a thought, wouldn't thinking about not thinking about "them" be technically considered thinking about "them?" Link to comment
theonethatiwant Posted November 17, 2007 Author Share Posted November 17, 2007 emalkoc: sorry for your pain and I am thrilled that you took the challenge. Fill your head, and we'll try it again tomorrow. aaaaaarrrrgh to all those who pm'd me and those here who are confused about the NOT thinking about them part. I have had a great day with no time to dwell on that. It's just an exercise to break the pattern of repetitive thought and practice self care. And after the initial thought of not thinking about them you replace that with small things that engage your brain. Se previous posts we are not going for 0 thoughts here that's not possible. Just as with meditation you have a goal of focus and when other thoughts intrude you acknowledge them and move on. A little humor to lift the pall of why can be an overwhelming pattern for many of us. See suggestions above for small ways to break it. Sometimes we get to the point where we are doing the big stuff -friends work, and the small things creep up and we have spent an evening brooding over them and haven't bought fresh food or taken out the trash or opened the mail for days. For those of you who got it and took the challenge hooray! for those of you who couldn't even entertain a millisecond of effort there is always tomorrow. For those of you who didn't get it I had fun trying I am now pouring myself a nice glass of wine and eating a very cool meal I made for myself (cause I'm worth it) and thinking about all of you and the funny stuff that happened today and I am SMILING. yay. Tomorrow another challenge, share your success with us tell us how you filled your head. P.S. my cat refused, despite rigorous questioning, to divulge the allure of the bathwater....life is full of mystery and I'm ready to walk into it. Link to comment
Serendipitous Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Don't think about monkeys for next minute.......... Ah so all you thought about were monkeys ? Yes telling yourself repeatedly NOT to think about something triggers your brain to dwell. Just let the feelings/thoughts roll over you and keep yourself BUSY!!!! Link to comment
Ampire Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 Today I have been somewhat successful at filling my head with positive energy - much of which is because of your support theonethatiwant - Thank you!!! I also watched the movie balls of fury - its pretty bad but good at the same time, lol like another member said here once - I need a love patch - like they have for smokers to give you that satisfaction of having it - without having it.... staying strong!!! ](*,) Link to comment
Suesser Tod Posted November 17, 2007 Share Posted November 17, 2007 I wouldn't be able to pull this one off, I've tried but... Today after I came back from schoool, I went to McDonalds (two blocks away) to grab a bite, then came home, watched a movie and then fell asleep for two hours. I dreamt about her I can recall that at some point I was talking to my mother and I said her name, my mother wasn't able to hear it, so I repeated it, and she wasn't able to hear it once again, this went for about 5 or 6 times, until I realized that the "name" was the name of my now ex. Then I remember I dreamt that I was sleeping and got an SMS, this one was weird... In my dream, the sms woke me up, and I had my cellphone on my pocket. I took my cellphone out of my pocket and I was about to check it, hoping it was her, when I realized that I had put my cellphone on the night table before taking the nap. At that point I knew I was dreaming, I remember I said "If I'm dreaming, who cares, lets throw some stuff out through the window", and so I did. LOL! Deep inside I wish that those dreams meant that my subconscious is coming to terms with the breakup, as I, for the most part, did. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.