Ex gf getting in touch again....

[dave_1966]

Hi...I'm back again. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with a girl 12 yrs younger than me (I'm 35) up until just under a year ago. We split up, or rather she dumped me just before Xmas last year in a not too pleasant fashion ( see link removed ) After she did this she continued to call me all the time, almost as tho nothing had happened. She eventually called to say she'd slept with someone else a few times, which obviously upset me futher. She said she regretted this, and continued to call up at regular intervals, this led to me barring her numbers on my land line. The last time she called my cell phone 2 or 3 months ago (which I can't bar) I told her to stop calling as it amounted to harassment. Now, she was supposed to stay where she was to do a post grad course, but didn't get on the course. Now I've started getting text messages off her asking how I am, and also saying things like "Don't you think I've suffered enough, etc". It's taken me all this time to get myself together again, but I text her back to say I would meet her face to face for a chat when she was in town to possibly sort this out once and for all. Is this a mistake? And, to you girls out there, I can't understand what's going on in her mind anymore....can you enlighten me? I haven't even seen her in all this time.

[russia]

all i am going to say is: you never listen to good advice, so i'll give you some bad advice you want: go ahead and do what your heart tells you to do.

[curry]

she is very lucky, coz you rre a nice guy, nice enough to not stop hearing from her. it seems to me when people are so mentally unstable is very very hard to deal with, and often, they mess up our mind too. these people like to say i love you this second and i hate you the next. don't know about you, but i really can't cope with the i want you - i dump you loop.

protect yourself from getting hurt, man. it hurts at this point but it'll pay off.

[dave_1966]

Well, after arranging to meet her quite near to my place she text me to say she didn't want to, when I replied 'why?' she replied that she would probably want to come home with me. I told her I didn't want to bring her home, but not meeting was not an option. I turned up at her brothers place (with his co-operation) when she was due to drop some of his stuff off there. We went for a coffee, and I told her that to dump me and then call repeatedly over the last year was not on, as it set me back on my recovery. Her eyes welled up on this one. It was really weird to see her again 10 months later, and at first I didn't know what to think or say. After spending a few minutes with her I started to notice all the things that attracted me in the first place, certain things she did and mannerisms. I dropped her off at her brothers, and told her I would not shut the door on her completely. I told her to only ever call me if it was with a view to trying again and we'd take it from there, but not to just call when she was feeling lonely etc as it simply wasn't fair. We embraced with tears in our eyes and she got out of the car and went. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since this, as just seeing her again made me feel a bit raw again. I don't know what chance we've got anyway, as her mother hated me (I think she hated everybody though) and went so far as to ditch two dogs with her before going to work abroad recently, making it very difficult for her to get away from where she lives even if she wanted to. This girl put me through a shredder, dumping me, sleeping with someone else etc. I don't even know if I could trust her again, but she says things like " I need to come to terms with the mistake I made". I have no intention of calling her again, as I believe all the effort initially would have to come from her....Any thoughts on this one?