She just not into me?

[Boughs]

Think its fair that i started NC with someone who i was hooking up with simply because I started to notice she wasn't as attracted to me as I was to her?

 

Signs she wasn't attracted:

 

Never really asked if I wanted to hang out... maybe once or twice.

I initiated most of the kissing.

I decided to see how much she liked me, so I completely stopped talking to her, we didn't speak for 5 days. She initiated finally. She is not a busy person.

 

Seem like she wasn't really into me?

[Firehawk13]

She's not interested in you, outside of maybe being a typical acquaintance or distant friend.

 

If you're interested in a girl who isn't interested in you, the worst thing you can do is keep contact with them. It's not like you've just gotten out of a relationship, but a loose NC policy is well within reasonable bounds.

 

I recently expressed my interest in a girl who just wasn't into me, and we were fairly good friends. However, I don't feel like I can deal being around her knowing we're not going to happen, so I'm maintaining NC as best I can, and I do feel it helps.

 

So I'd say no, she wasn't really into to you, and I'd advise some NC

[embers rise]

Either she isn't interested or she could be just shy...

[Batya33]

Could it be she was interested in someone wanting to date her as opposed to hanging out/hooking up? when I was dating, if a man just wanted to hang out I usually didn't make him a priority - or agree to see him, depending, because I doubted he had serious intentions.

[ghost69]

could be. or she is one of those girls that believes guys make all the moves. like batya.

[May_It_Be]

Or, when you didn't speak to her for five days, she thought you had lost interest and made a final attempt at contact just to confirm her suspicions.

 

When I was more insecure, I would have thought that. I would have thought I had been used, and then tossed aside, because five days of not hearing from this guy would have seemed like an eternity for me, and I would have felt foolish and stupid for even thinking this guy may have liked me or wanted me for more than making out once in awhile.

[Batya33]

could be. or she is one of those girls that believes guys make all the moves. like batya.

 

Nope, not what I believe in the least.

[ghost69]

from what i have read, you believe the guy needs to put in the most effort. if it's wrong, i apologize. but i don't want to jack this thread.

[Batya33]

You read wrong. I have written that in the very beginning the man (I am not talking about teenagers here) should do more of the initiating, calling and planning when he is interested in dating a woman with potential for a relationship. What you wrote above was a complete exxageration/inaccurate and it was unnecessary to comment on what "I" believe in your own post - my post had nothing to do with your comment, anyway.

 

Thanks and I appreciate it.

[May_It_Be]

I think men should just grow some balls (or utilize the ones they supposedly already have), and do it all, from start to finish. Women should just sit back, watch, respond, and luxuriate in the process.

 

 

[Dating Coach]

You have every right to back off if she isn't holding up her part of what you see as a healthy relationship. Her actions don't fit well with what you are looking for and so you have every right to put a stop to it.

 

Her contacting you isn't a big deal. She could have just been checking to see if you are mad at her or if you are still interested. Could be just a test like that. Unless she's giving you the attention you want, then move on.

[Boughs]

I think the way you do Diggity.

 

I know her to be a bit shy and to be more of a "boy calls girl first" kinda girl. Which I do like... however the last time that I kissed her, which was after a dinner, goodnight, she had her eyes open. She then left almost immediately. She said "i have to go pee really bad".

 

After that I didn't hear from her for 5 days. Now she has talked to me 3 times, and I've responded politely... but she always leads the conversation towards the class we are in. Nothing has hinted at going to do something together... or even do something during the weekend at all. So I'm thinking that if she would want to she would ask. Perhaps I'm all wrong.

 

She has been apart from her ex boyfriend for a year, but she seems to talk about him from time to time... which i guess is also something that turns me off. Especially when she drinks... she'll mention him more often. I think she isn't over him. Which I honestly think is pathetic... people need to move on with their lives

[boo121]

could be. or she is one of those girls that believes guys make all the moves. like batya.

 

Yeah i agree, Batya believes that all girls should sit around and wait for guys to come up and start every conversation.

[Batya33]

Yeah i agree, Batya believes that all girls should sit around and wait for guys to come up and start every conversation.

 

Nope never have believed that and never will. I'm one example of someone who has approached many men in my lifetime to start and continue conversations and I encourage all women to do the same if they are looking for someone to date or have a relationship with. Sitting around is boring and makes you fat, eventually ;-)

[JeckyllNHyde]

Think its fair that i started NC with someone who i was hooking up with simply because I started to notice she wasn't as attracted to me as I was to her?

 

Signs she wasn't attracted:

 

Never really asked if I wanted to hang out... maybe once or twice.

I initiated most of the kissing.

I decided to see how much she liked me, so I completely stopped talking to her, we didn't speak for 5 days. She initiated finally. She is not a busy person.

 

Seem like she wasn't really into me?

 

Depends also how long it has been going on?

If you guys just started I don't blame her for not inniciating the kissing, or not inniciating hanging out.

 

And also are you guys just hooking up or is it dating leading onto something more serious?

Mostly if it's just hook ups, both parties are weary of showing too much interest so they don't seem too attatched.

[boo121]

Nope never have believed that and i never will. I'm one example of someone who has approached many men in my lifetime to start and continue conversations and I encourage all women to do the same if they are looking for someone to date or have a relationship with. Sitting around is boring and makes you fat, eventually ;-)

 

so basically, you believe that all men should get fat then all the ladies will approach them? Your not very good at this advice thing are you?

[ghost69]

most batya posts say if he is interested HE should make the moves. but i'm not gonna bash batya.