A Vent.

[BlondGuy]

fnlyfrei wrote

"Wow, you are sure devoting a lot of time and sarcasm to this thread. Yes, I have only been married to him for four months. I had previously been married to a chauvanist pig for 20 years. I know how "asking politely" goes. They help, half-heartedly once, then a few days later forget again, so you must ask sweetly AGAIN...it never ends...and then you are called a "nag"....so you give up and do it all yourself. Maybe that's what I should do. Or hire a maidservice and have him pay half the bill. It's not like scrubbing his toilet is going to get me lots of compliments and kudos."

 

 

fnlyfrei, question, did you meet your current husband soon after your divorce? The reason is you may have some unresolved issues that may be sabotaging your current relantionship.

 

And seriously sometimes us guys are that clueless. We need to be told exactly what needs to get done. Try to be patient and see if your husband is truly clueless (not in a bad way) or is just lazy.

 

Also your maid idea is really a good idea. If everything else in your relationship is good then dont sweat the little things. Life is too short!

[fnlyfrei]

Nope, I have been divorced for three years. But yeah, I have "issues" from wayyy back...before husbands.

[woebegone]

Just wanted to mention (I don't think it's been mentioned yet) that if/when your husband does help out around the house, even if it's as simple as frying a couple eggs for the family for breakfast, tell him how much you appreciate it. Getting a positive response for a good behavior as opposed to a negative response for a bad behavior might be more incentive for him. I know that sounds like training a dog and I didn't mean for it to, but it may be worth a shot. We focus way too much on the negative...

[Hope75]

Moderator's Note:

 

Please remember to stay on topic and treat each other with respect. Further disrespectful posts will result in disciplinary action.

 

Hope75

Moderator

[Mun]

You've only been married 4 months. I think it's the best time NOW to let him know what to expect.

 

Hire the maid and have him pay for half--or work it into your budget as part of your usual home upkeep. Either way he pays for it too. This way the work gets done and nobody is upset.

 

If you don't want to cook everyday, then don't. Let him know that Friday the cook is off. Or whatever days you want.

 

Your husband says he doesn't know what needs to be done? Give him a short list. Give him one task a day... or two. If you give him more then it will most likely not get done.

 

If he doesn't do it--like fixing a light switch or something--then tell him that tomorrow your Dad or brother in law is coming to fix it. I'll bet he gets right on it. It seems to work. It's an ego thing I think.

 

Is it only your husband that is the problem or your children too?

 

It's really your behavior that has to change, and you have the power to do that. Only then will it be different for you.