Child like feelings???

[MarkD]

Has anyone experienced child like feelings from your breakup? I sometimes find myself feeling like I am a little boy scared to leave home for the first time. It is a very odd and scary feeling. For some reason, I am scared of the world right now...does this sound familiar to anyone else? Are you as scared as I am right now of the future?

[need2bme]

Of course it sounds familiar. Hell, I wouldn't even get outta bed. It seemed like everything was gonna suck anyway.

 

I just started pushing myself and I still have to, because I know I need to be a better man and for me personally, I want to get to that place, so....I have to push myself.

 

Fake it till you make it.....right?

 

I sometimes think I was a little boy WITH her. I wanted to escape EVERYTHING and in her arms was the right place to do it.

 

I cannot do that in the next relationship, so, I push myself.

 

I am scared I won't trust again, I am scared the insecurities will come back, I am scared that she WON'T come back.

 

Yeah, I am scared....glad some other grownup is too. ;-)

[MarkD]

I remember the first time i left my house to go to a sleep over with my brother and his older friends. It was at a neighbours house down the street. I made it half way down the street, and then I got scared and came running back home to my Mom. I feel the same way right now...

[need2bme]

Mark: That is so funny. I know it wasn't intended to be, but I actually stayed AWAY from my house for the longest I could and slept on the floor in the living room, because I could not bear to sleep on the bed. I also just wanted to fall asleep in front of the tv.

 

I know that I did this before, so it is something I have to work on with dealing with things.

[Dominic_M]

Along with the depression, the lonelyness, But I also feel a large amount of fear and anxeity.

 

Cold sweats, reluctance to go out on the weekends that I dont have my baby girl, and fear of society. I fear talking to people, I fear talking to women.

 

I know exactly what you mean.

[astrobaby]

Yeah actually, that does sound familiar. When the break up was fresh i was definitely feeling that the world was a big scary place. Fear was a big part of my general emotional malaise. Maybe i still do a bit, just haven't really thought about it for a while.

[miew]

I am still scared of the outside world from time to time 7 months after the break-up ...I thought it was because of the fact that there is a gap between what I want and what I have and I am so afraid that I'll never be able to fill that gap...most of my friends in my age are making a family and have a "safe" place to go while I am still wandering in the unkowns...

I used to be an independent and fearless person (so I thought) while I was single before the relationship, but where are all the strength now? I actually feel like an abandoned child who has no place to go...

[MarkD]

miew...I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My friends are also all getting married and having childrean etc... Its been 5 months since my break and I am so lost. I don't know where to start. I feel like I am spinning in a circle. I can't sleep, or think (of something else then my breakup and my ex) and I can't find happiness in anything. It's a lose lose situation. Like you, I was so strong before and was perfectly fine with being single....now look at me

[matt24]

Since she broke up with me 3 weeks ago, one of the first things I did was take some time off of work and got a plane ticket home. Well, my two weeks is up and I leave tomorrow. I do not want to go back. I am scared. Memories, work, all of it. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. It's been good to have my family around to vent, now I have to go back and there I feel so alone.

[minniegirl]

I'm scared of being at home.

[MarkD]

I just came back from a walk during my lunch break at work. I find myself looking at people walking around like everything is great in everyone else's life..they all look happy, and I am invisible just walking around. I have a hard time even smiling right now....when will this ever end. I got zero sleep last night cause I can't stop thinking of my ex and the breakup..grrrrrrrrr

[need2bme]

I used to be an independent and fearless person (so I thought) while I was single before the relationship, but where are all the strength now? I actually feel like an abandoned child who has no place to go...

 

miew: I know how that feels. I think that maybe I thought I was strong, but everytime I get into a relationship, I find myself trying to replace my life with thiers, so something needs to be fixed and maybe I was not as strong as I once thought.

 

I'm scared of being at home.

 

minniegirl: Amen. When she first left, I wouldn't even go home for the longest time. I would walk around the mall where we met, until it closed. I couldn't even sleep in my bed.

 

I find myself looking at people walking around like everything is great in everyone else's life..they all look happy, and I am invisible just walking around.

 

Mark: Yep. I walk around the mall and I see all the peopl snuggling, kissing, holding hands, etc. and I can remember how much we used to do that. It is a shame I didn't build a foundation with the ex, first.

[Coyote9]

Abandonment from a long term relationship does certainly trigger all the other rejections and feelings of being helpless that we experienced as children. A lot has been written about that "inner child" stuff and I tend to believe that, as we feel more vulnerable as a relationship falters, that we experience the pain that as children we felt so intensely. In time, if we work to nurture ourselves and no longer hope or expect our ex's to nurture us (because, let's face it, in most cases they did a lousy job of it), we can move on and let go of the childlike pain that we all feel out of breakups. It's difficult stuff, yet I think unavoidable. The Catch-22 remains; when we love deeply, we open ourselves to being vulnerable, which makes the child in us feel exposed and vulnerable to rejection.