Bootycalls

[Balbina]

I recently read a response to a thread that said that women were incapable of being in a booty call relationship because we inevitably become emotionally involved with someone when sex enters the picture.

 

That men are more capable of having meaningless sex than women.

 

I don't know if I agree necessarily, because I have had just sex before...

 

But when a booty call is prolonged, is it possible to remain a booty call? Or are we just kidding ourselves, refusing to own up to the responsibility of being sexually exclusive with a person? Is it really possible to remain "bed buddies" with someone, when you're intimate with them over a longer period of time?

 

My last "relationship" was an on-again-off-again booty call scenario that was going smoothly until a situation occurred where I didn't feel respected. I responded with jealousy and hurt because I felt taken advantage of. Basically, just because we were booty calls didn't make me immune to pain. And I realized that just because we were saying we were just screwing around, my feelings and reactions said differently. I became, somehow, attached.

 

I don't think women can be in a booty call relationship. A prolonged booty call always means integrating your lives at some point or being together for so long that you inevitably begin sharing yourselves. It's not fair to yourself to settle for something like that.

[WaterIsLife]

I think a prolonged booty call does cause the relationship to change. Maybe not into a full-blown relationship, but one where feelings can be hurt on either side.

 

Sure, there are some people that are exceptions to this, and can have zero investment. But I think this depends on the person and I'm not sure what, if any, role gender plays.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I hear what you're saying Balbina and I agree .... sort of.

 

But I don't think the response you're talking about is exclusive to females. I'd bet my hands men experience attachment to prolonged booty call relationships as well.

[Cooperstown]

I think it depands on how often the booty call occurs, personally I don't see it evolving if it is not a regular thing and no kissing is involved rather just sex. No kissing takes all the intimacy out of it and makes it a pure physical thing, atleast that's my take.

[thegirl_00]

From what I have seen, generally in prolonged booty calls one person becomes attached and in some cases both people do and it will develop into something further. But I believe that there is an equal chance that either the guy or girl will become attached.

[kmae23]

yeah, I think men can become attached to. I mean if it's just sexual pleasure, why don't people just find a way to pleasure themselves on there own, without another person? Obviously, the touch, smell and all those other things beside sex really do mean something. Just having a connection with someone else.

Also, think about all the physiological reasons people become attached. Smell can be pretty powerful, and for women after they orgasm there brain releases a hormone aiding in attachment to the male. This does not happen to men! So that could be a reason too. And besides, who can really have good sex without a real connection?

[servedcold]

I'm an old man, but think booty calls as a concept are disgusting. Basically empty mutual maturbation. IMO, it takes some of the intimacy out of sex once involved in a non booty call relationship. More low street culture glorified as being the cool thing to do...

[inlove123]

My ex and I had a booty call thing going on for about 4-5 weeks after our break up. Though every time we had intentions on talking. We pushed that aside and had sex. We both knew we were missing our old sex life greatly. It only ended I felt because we couldn't continue knowing thats all it became. Some people cant have sex with someone purely for sex. I tend to that type of person and so did she. So the charade ended.

 

However I have a friend have whos had the same girl come for a booty call for the last id say 6 months. And ive noticed if they they ever hang out together, they always come off as a couple. I think with time, it tends to build up some type of attachment. It definitly would with me. You mentioned how you think men are more incapable of avoiding emotion getting into the picture. Yes, there are pigs out there, but there are also just as many slu*** women out there who have no problem jumping in the sack with anyone. I personally could never do that.

[Cooperstown]

I'm an old man, but think booty calls as a concept are disgusting. Basically empty mutual maturbation. IMO, it takes some of the intimacy out of sex once involved in a non booty call relationship. More low street culture glorified as being the cool thing to do...

 

 

Exactly, it takes all the intimacy out of sex, so people who are hurt, guarded, scared can still gain physical pleasure from another person without putting themselves out there.

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that it is possible to attribute the ability to have meaningless sex to a particular gender because both sexes are capable of doing it. Potentially if two people just wanted to have sex with eachother and nothing else, it is possible for a prolonged booty call but there is still going to be an expiration date on the booty call itself.

[shyguy1]

Bootycalls.... don't get the appeal.

 

Meaningless sex has zero and I mean zero interest to me.

 

If there's not a bond there..... I wouldn't want sex... which is honestly the only thing keeping me going as a virgin at my age.... the fact that the right girl just hasn't come along yet.

 

Although I honestly again have no history of them... and honestly can say while being 100 percent certain that I never will... I think the whole concept of booty calls is such that getting too attached is a very real possibility... for either partner.

[Balbina]

I think it depends on the person, the situation and their individual choice of lifestyle.

 

It's not for everyone. A lot of my girlfriends would not be able to emotionally handle being with a guy intimately and not BEING with him. Myself on the other hand - I'm in a place in my life where I'm focusing on myself and figuring out what I want and where I'm going. Having an easy relationship with a guy where we have fun and mesh well when we're together and are able to focus on ourselves and live separate lives when we're apart - works for me.

 

But I believe there is a sort of expiry date on the "relationship". Even if you are not officially commiting yourself to a person, your mind/heart tricks you into thinking it. It's basically all the perks and up-sides of a relationship - which is why it initially appealed to me. But without the basis of a true bond with the person, when an issue arises that has to be deal with, it can end up being seriously painful.

 

I think sometimes sex can be just sex. It doesn't have to be glorified all the time into this life altering experience of true love - I don't try to make something out of nothing. I believe in the significance of sex in the context of love, but that is just one way of looking at it.

[SweetJade]

I will never do it again. I tried it once and never no more. Maybe some people can do it but you have to be pretty strong. I think it's too personal, I mean you're sharing your body with another human being. It's very intimate in a sense so I don't understand how some people can not fall in love with their FWB. I tried to do it with a guy and we both knew the rules. We had a FWB type relationship and it lasted good for awhile. Eventually I started getting confused and I thought the guy was actually liking me more. We actually started going out a lot more to the movies and the mall, it felt like a real date and that's what started mixing me up and falling for him. Sometimes he would come over, he would spend the night in my bed and we cuddled and I fell for that. To make a long story short he eventually dropped me like a bad habit when someone else came along! A girl he "REALLY" cared for and that made me feel so used in a sense, but I can't really be mad at him because I agreed to this silly arrangement.

 

I think it's too much drama involved. I think some people can do these arrangements successfully but it's rare because someone always fall for one of their buddies. Sex is a very intimate act shared between two human beings.I mean you're constantly sharing your body with this particular person and seeing this person, of course it seems like you would get somewhat attached. That's why I wait to I'm at least exclusive with a partner now before I have sex.

[Batya33]

Prolonged booty calls means that you prolong meeting and having sex. the "couple stuff" has no real substance or goal. It's fine if it is what both people want (I've never wanted it and fortunately I've never lied to myself that I did and then felt "used" even though I consented - that would not be acceptable to me)