Advise give to me....

[bobsiesprincess]

Ok so I dont usually post advise n things, cos im still in such a bad place just now I dont really know what to say.....

 

but tonight i feel like sharing a couple of things that have stuck with me...

 

my mum said to me theres not many times in life that its ok to be selfish, but a broken heart is one very good reason to be selfish. do everything for you..... dont do anything that will make you feel any worse. its all about you now. treat yourself, pamper yourself, look after yourself, cos lets face it, no1 else will. do something uve always wanted to do - it doesnt need to be a big thing- go see a film ur ex wouldnt have wanted to, start learning something you didnt have the time to do when you were loved up.

 

also, its so easy to completely let urself go when you have a broken heart. this is ok for a while, but ive found eventually buying myself new clothes, making the effort to do my hair and makeup again actually makes u feel so much better. and obv, u want to be looking ur best if u ever bump into the ex!

 

WORK OUT! its such a good stress reliever, and the toning up will make u feel so much better about urself.

 

Also, ive been really bad for going over everything over and over and wondering if id done this differently, or said that, if i could have changed the outcome. Theres no point - we cant change the past, and if we'd done things differently we wouldnt have been acting naturally. True love should be unconditional - our flaws and mistakes shouldnt matter. no1 is perfect so dont beat urself up over it.

 

oh and DONT cyberstalk. I was going on his bebo EVERY day, and every single day it hurt me. take the plunge, delete ur accounts, you dont want any temptation.

 

also everyone -keep ur dignity - its all we have! most ppl do a bit of begging and crying which is natural because of the shock of the breakup but dont do it 4 ages. my mum said is all i can keep is my dignity, and its so important to do it. you want to walk away gracefully. when they look at their phone and they have 14 texts and 56 missed calls, its hardly going to make u seem appealing. dont act pathetic because in the future when u look back at this time, ull so regret it. i understand wanting to state ur case calmly once, i think this is ok, but give them their space. plus u dont want sum1 to get back with you because you convinced them, you want them to come back for the right reasons on their own. they dumped you, dont chase them!

 

 

Lets all keep the faith that the right person will come along for us!

[LostInTransition]

Thanks! Good advices! Please update with any others!

[bobsiesprincess]

lost in transition - i edited the post and added a couple more! im feeing quite positive 2nite, it wont last long, so thought id get this all out while i was!

[astrobaby]

Good to hear you saying this bp, and it's all very true. Glad you're feeling more positive tonight. You will feel this way more and more often as time goes on.

[just M.E.]

Very good comments

We all lose self esteem when going through a breakup, so exercise makes us feel better about our bodies and we need the endorphins to help our mood / happiness. It brings up our pride, then we can remember we are the same person that fell in love back then, WE ARE NOT LESS!!!!!

 

Actually, some times we get better.

 

And being good to ourselves, is the old instinctive "licking our wounds".

 

And finally living well truly is the best revenge - revenge isn't necessarily needed, but living well, going forward in life, we validate ourselves and in the long run that subtle message is projected to everyone we meet and know.

[buckdawg]

very good advice bobsie. it's all so true isn't it?

[Sadman84]

it all makes sense

[HajiMaji]

I am so proud of this post! I know its hard and things are still rough, but its great to see these little glimpses of strength showing through

[Bunney]

Very true and I am glad you have realized this and that you're doing better now.

[istillluvu06]

Thanks for the post and yes it does make perfect sense, I just havent gotten there yet, I know what I need to do but can't for whatever reason, just so depressed.

[bobsiesprincess]

And finally living well truly is the best revenge - revenge isn't necessarily needed, but living well, going forward in life, we validate ourselves and in the long run that subtle message is projected to everyone we meet and know.

 

this is so true. i need to get the msg out to my ex that im doing fine without him and my life is going on. he's been getting on with things from day one and that hurts, and now i know i gota do that 2. i mean hes hardly gona want me or regret his decision when im the emotional wreck that i am just now.

 

istillluvu06 - i know what you mean, there are periods when u r so down u cant motivate urself to do anything and u cant think rationally, but with time itll come. i promise.

 

thanks every1 for replying - i think this is the first time ive made a kinda positive post, so hopefully this is the start of things getting better, after all they cnt get much worse!!!

[ashlyn82]

you sound very mature for your age..great job in summing this up =)

[Clabs]

Hey bobsie!

 

This is a great post! You are positive and that it a fantastic sign - you can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Your mum is quite right - selfishness at this point is so good for you - focus just on you.

 

You will have some more bad days - and well done you for indentifying this fact - but your general direction will be forward - and you are going to do this!

 

Well done honey and great inspiration to anyone having a hard time on here - we can all do this - give it time and don't be too hard on yourself. Praise yourself when you have positive days and don't beat yourself up if you have bad days.

 

Mark

[bobsiesprincess]

aw thanks very much clabs, ur reply really touched me!

 

and thanks ashlyn -dont think ne1s ever said to me before that i sound mature! although, im def not immature.

[Beginningandend]

Very well done, girl. I remember where you started and it is great to see where you are. There will be a few bumps here and there to be sure, but keep moving as you are and you will be just fine.