bulletproof Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Well I know for a fact that after a disaster, like a relationship ending or someone you love dying, that I just can't turn my feelings off straight away and be happy. You're using extreme language to argue a point, and that is illogical. The people posting here have not said "turn your feelings off straight away". They have noted the need to grieve but also the need to train your mind to find happiness in life again. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Well I know for a fact that after a disaster, like a relationship ending or someone you love dying, that I just can't turn my feelings off straight away and be happy. If you both don't want to believe me then fine, but there's no reason for me to lie. I had always thought that it's like this for everyone, but maybe I'm wrong, since no one else apart from myself and be gentlewitheme have posted in this topic saying what we're saying, which you'd think would happen. I dont think you are fully reading all the responses here. If you were i don't see how you are missing the point being made because no one is saying someone you love dies and boom, you tell yourself you are going to be happy. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 You're using extreme language to argue a point, and that is illogical. The people posting here have not said "turn your feelings off straight away". They have noted the need to grieve but also the need to train your mind to find happiness in life again. Boldger has said things which indicate that people can choose to be happy straight away if something, really bad happens, and if they're depressed it's because they choose to be like that. Link to comment
Boldger Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Boldger has said things which indicate that people can choose to be happy straight away if something, really bad happens, and if they're depressed it's because they choose to be like that. Ah, and there you go misquoting me again. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 Ah, and there you go misquoting me again. Well, it's not my fault. Link to comment
anya1607307555 Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 the bottom line is, I think you have to be in a particular mindset to even accept the notion of 'I am in control of my life. my current position in life is a choice I have made/am making on a daily basis', whether it be consciously or subconsciously. (I know because it is something I am recently coming to terms with myself) until you are truly feeling and ready to live that mindset, however much it is explained to you, I don't believe you are actually capable of comprehending that happiness is simply another of those choices. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Boldger has said things which indicate that people can choose to be happy straight away if something, really bad happens, and if they're depressed it's because they choose to be like that. He's done no such thing. You have interpreted his posts that way so they will fit with your own mindset. In fact, he goes on to post later that there is a natural grieving process for anyone. Further, how do you know for a fact that you CAN'T choose happiness? Is it something you've tried to do? Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 He's done no such thing. You have interpreted his posts that way so they will fit with your own mindset. In fact, he goes on to post later that there is a natural grieving process for anyone. Further, how do you know for a fact that you CAN'T choose happiness? Is it something you've tried to do? I know he stated it later on. It's the way he put it accross at first that we are discussing here. As for choosing happiness, yes, I have tried to just be happy instantly, and it hasn't worked. When I've been depressed or down, I've tried to think, just stop being depressed and be happy, but it doesn't work, in fact, fighting it actually makes me feel worse. As for working towards being happy in life, it's not that simple, it's complicated and there are a lot of things to tackle, which in my case some of those things are depression and social anxiety. But I am doing something about my situation now, I am working towards being more happy, or at least, changing myself so I can change my life to be more happy. Link to comment
Boldger Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 It's the way he put it accross at first that we are discussing here. Still don't see what you are arguing about. I stated that happiness was a choice, first and foremost, from the beginning. Have I said anything different? Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 Still don't see what your point is. Well it's what we've been discussing for the last few posts, the mix up. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 Still don't see what you are arguing about. I stated that happiness was a choice, first and foremost, from the beginning. Have I said anything different? Pretty much, you gave the impression that if someone is down/depressed or whatever from a bad situation, that it's their fault, that they are selfish, that they are choosing to be this way, and that they could just choose to not feel like that. You never stated that you ment after feeling that way for a long time, or just generally feeling unhappy in life, and that it actually takes work and it's not like flicking a switch, until a couple of pages ago. Link to comment
Boldger Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 Pretty much, you gave the impression that if someone is down/depressed or whatever from a bad situation, that it's their fault, that they are selfish, that they are choosing to be this way, and that they could just choose to not feel like that. I never said anything was their fault. I said those negative emotions and feelings are self inflicted and that yes, happiness is a choice and it's a choice that they must make. You never stated that you ment after feeling that way for a long time, or just generally feeling unhappy in life. And I still don't. Never said that, never will. I said sometimes it is healthy to spend some time grieving or mourning. There is a very big difference. BTW, I've always said it takes work. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 I never said anything was their fault. I said those negative emotions and feelings are self inflicted and that yes, happiness is a choice and it's a choice that they must make. Well saying it's self inflicted certainly gives the impression that you're saying it's their fault, as though they just 'decided' to feel bad. And saying that happiness is a choice that they must make sounds like they should decide to be happy straight away and it's that easy, or at least not so hard that it'll take a usual grieving period before they can 'snap out of it' or 'think themsleves happy'. And I still don't. Never said that, never will. I said sometimes it is healthy to spend some time grieving or mourning. There is a very big difference. BTW, I've always said it takes work. So you mean, it's okay to feel down at first for a certain period of time, but that they should 'work' on getting better straight away? Well, it may be a good idea, but I don't really think it's natural to think like that, and you'll find that most people will not feel ready to work on it that soon, and will even feel guilty about it (I did when I thought of trying to get over my dog dying a few days or weeks after he died), we need to grieve first, and then work at getting better when we're ready to and it feels right too. Also, you have not always said it takes work, you suddenly mentioned that about maybe, halfway through the topic at the soonest, which I missed at first. Link to comment
Boldger Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 If what I say comes accross differently to you or gives you a different impression then that isn't my problem. You've done nothing but go around in circles for the past few pages, and I'm pretty tired of explaining and reexplaining myself. Also, you have not always said it takes work, you suddenly mentioned that about maybe, halfway through the topic at the soonest, which I missed at first. Just because it's not the first thing I mentioned doesn't mean anything. If I wanted to make every possible point I could in my first post I would write a book. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 If what I say comes accross differently to you or gives you a different impression then that isn't my problem. You've done nothing but go around in circles for the past few pages, and I'm pretty tired of explaining and reexplaining myself.. I think it is your problem, but it may not be a problem for you. Especially if you do not realise that it's you with the problem. No, let's get this straight, 'we've' been around in circles, because of the way 'you' have put things accross, especially earlier. Just because it's not the first thing I mentioned doesn't mean anything. If I wanted to make every possible point I could in my first post I would write a book. Of course it means something, it means not getting your real point accross (although I don't even know what your real point is now because you've taken so many 360 degree turns on it in this topic) You wouldn't need to write a book to get your point accross in your first post, it's all about basic communication, you could have done it with maybe a couple of more extra paragraphs max. I never have these problems with most other people. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 Can we just agree to disagree? I asked that with buckdawg in about the 2nd page of this topic, but he had to keep it going. Link to comment
Boldger Posted October 26, 2007 Share Posted October 26, 2007 I never have these problems with most other people. And it's funny how everyone else seems to have gotten it. Can we just agree to disagree? Done. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 26, 2007 Author Share Posted October 26, 2007 And it's funny how everyone else seems to have gotten it. Everyone? Who's everyone? Three people? (And two people inc myself thought you meant different) Done. Cool. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 I never have these problems with most other people. Wait- wasn't the entire original point of this post that you DO have these problems with people? People criticizing you, disagreeing with you, arguing with you? Do you think perhaps you just proved your own point about being too sensitive? Link to comment
buckdawg Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 Wait- wasn't the entire original point of this post that you DO have these problems with people? People criticizing you, disagreeing with you, arguing with you? Do you think perhaps you just proved your own point about being too sensitive? just quit feeding the troll. i'm pissed at myself i even bothered passed the first page. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 just quit feeding the troll. i'm pissed at myself i even bothered passed the first page. Ha, you are totally right!! Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 Wait- wasn't the entire original point of this post that you DO have these problems with people? People criticizing you, disagreeing with you, arguing with you? Do you think perhaps you just proved your own point about being too sensitive? Um, I wasn't talking about those problems when I said I don't have these problems with people. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 just quit feeding the troll. i'm pissed at myself i even bothered passed the first page. I'm a troll? Awww, someone doesn't agree with you so you have to resort to immature insults. Could you give me some proof that I'm a troll please? Maybe it's you who is the troll. After all like I said I offered for us to just agree to disagree but you still had to keep it going, just like you're doing now. ^_^ Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 Ha, you are totally right!! Another person who can't take someone not agreeing with them... I'm one of the only few in this topic who has kept being civilised, well, until the three of you started to get uncivilised. Link to comment
avman Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 This thread has run its course Link to comment
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