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Is it worth trying to work things out with my boyfriend?


bluedaisies
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Im 29 and my boyfriend is 25. I want marriage and kids and he wants to buy a house with his college buddies. We've been dating for a year and a half and have had a great relationship until recently.

 

He started going away on weekends without me, not calling me for days after a fight, and looking for reasons not to trust me. Once we fought and he left me stranded at the office (we work together) knowing we were supposed to go out that night. Another time we fought, he let me drive home drunk (I feel awful about that) and he never even called to see if I got home ok.

 

He left his email open on my computer and I came accross emails from his ex about a night they had slept together back when we had been dating only a couple of months. He denied that incident even though his replies to her in his email confirmed it.

 

He says he loves me and wants to work things out. We have so much fun together and he's so "familiar and comfy" that I'm not sure I can let him go. Maybe I hold on to him for those reasons in hope that he will want to marry me one day, although his response to me about marriage is always " I don't think about the future, I live in the present."

 

I recently met someone else who has the same desires as I do in life and I know he's the one I want to be with. How do I know Im making the right choice by choosing him?? Should I throw away a year and a half relationship or try to work things out?

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First off.. a 29 year old guy who plans on buying a home with college buddies is no where near ready to settle down. Sounds like he has a different goal than you.

 

It's not a waste of 1.5 years. It has helped shape and define what you want out of life. You now are in a position to move on with someone who is in-line with your goals.

 

The fact is, if you leave this guy for the new guy, you MAY be unhappy. It IS possible that the new guy will turn out to have bigger issues. But, you know this, there are no garuntees in life.

 

It all comes back to you. Decide what you want, then don't look back.

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It's your choice babe. He is obviously not on the same page that you are on right now, but how long do you think it will take him before he's willing to settle down, or do you thing he will at all.

 

First you have to look at how long you think it will take him. Then you have to see if you're willing to wait that long. Most importantly you have to think about whether or not you really want to be married to him. If it was me, I wouldn't marry anyone that cheated on me even if it was a long time ago and only a couple weeks into the relationship. That's when people are least likely to cheat. People are more likely to cheat the first 5 years of a marriage. I just wouldn't set myself up like that, but that's just me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My advice move on with your life,it seems to me that this

guy is playing games with you. a good concerned boyfriend

would not leave you alone drunk he doesn't even cares what

happens to you.

 

>>We have so much fun together and he's so "familiar and comfy" that I'm not sure I can let him go. ...

 

I think your just so used to him that your afraid of letting

go of someone or something so familiar to you if that's the

case that's not love sweetie (just my opinion). If you rush him

into marriage and he's not ready he just might end up blaming

you. talk to him and set things straight if he's still not ready

then you should move on and give yourself a chance to be happy.

GOODLUCK!!

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