Healing

[cabman]

My relationship ended 3 months ago. I have been n/c for a little over a month. I really love the ex. I did not want it to end. It seems that with each day that passes I miss her all the more. The feelings of loss, dispair, fear and all the others just keep getting stronger rather than weaker. At this rate I will be a total basket case in another month. When will it get better?

 

Thanks

[HappyAsALark]

I can't tell you an exact date of when it will get better, but it will. I know people tell you that all the time, but it is true. You are going to have really hard days, but pretty soon you will begin to have good days as well. And pretty soon after that your hard days will be far and few between and eventually will go away. Stay no contact. Surround yourself with positive people. Love yourself.

[love4life]

Have you thought about going to therapy? This helped me immensely.

 

Do you at least have friends or family members you can talk to about what you're feeling? This is so important!

[love4life]

itsmylife makes a good point about loving yourself. One way to start this is to start on the outside. This is going to sound a bit silly and kind of obvious but if you treat yourself well on the outside (grooming, dressing well, exercising, etc.) you'll start to feel better because you'll look at yourself and think, "I look GOOD!" Go out, buy yourself a few new clothing items, get a haircut, it'll make you feel better.

 

Also, cleaning and organizing your home can give you a sense of order and accomplishment. I did this this weekend and felt SO good afterwards.

 

You need to treat yourself a bit. You deserve it!

[hopefulromantic79]

Have you thought about going to therapy? This helped me immensely.

 

Do you at least have friends or family members you can talk to about what you're feeling? This is so important!

Yes, therapy has helped me too in the past. The healing process is filled with ups and downs...in fact, 3 months might be the hardest time because you are out of the denial stage (I was in that for a while myself)...so it's probably becoming more of a reality for you. I've been "broken" for about 5 months now...but it did get a lot better in the past couple weeks or so. I think I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. You'll get there, too...and something will happen in your life that will make you want to keep going and live. You'll meet new people who will give you different persepectives (this site is great for that) and will realize that you can live and be happy on your own...I have to constantly think about what I'm thankful for...I suggest doing that as it changes your perspective from what you don't have to what you do have...and we all have way more than we realize. You'll be fine in a couple months...keep coming here and posting. It's sooo therapeutic.