If it's not interest then why do you girls glance over and stare at times?

[RedPenguin]

Many times I was told if a girl glances over at you over and over or she stares at you, then she's interested in you.

 

Many have told me the opposite lately.

 

So my question is, why would you girls glance over at a guy over and over or flat out stare, if it's not that you are a tad bit interested?

 

I mean, for me at least, when I look over at someone a lot, at girl, I usually am interested, and if it's a guy, I am curious what he is doing.

 

I can look over at a girl a few times and it not mean anything, but I never look at the same girl over and over each day I see her, if I am not interested.

 

So out of curiosity, why do you girls stare or glance a lot at the same guy, then end up not interested? I mean it makes no sense to me.

 

EDIT: Out of curiosity, is that body language thing supposed to mean anything really? I mean the shaking a foot constantly at the same person? I used to hear, if a girl shakes her foot letting her shoe slip on and off, while glancing over at a guy, she's a tad interested in him. I am curious if this has any truthfulness. I also heard about pointing a knee at their "target"

 

I'm curious about this because I can believe this a tad bit more then just a foot or knee. Do you girls sometimes turn your entire body to a guy when you are interested? I had a few girls, who would look at me a lot, then turn their entire body towards me, then look even more, LoL.

 

EDIT: Also out of curiosity, if you girls, really like a guy, say you look at him every day, with many glances and smile at him, what are the chances you will normally talk to him, in case you think he doesn't notice you? I've had some girls come up to me, and I'm curious if you girls really like a guy, and it drives you crazy, if you eventually get annoyed and talk to the guy.

[Jayar]

Plenty of times I am interested in a guy, until something about his mannerism or the way he talks or what he says turns me off. Just because someone is interested in you from accross a room, it doesn't bind them to a committment to date you.

 

Edited to add: You speak of these "things" like the shoe slip or knee point as something that girls are privy to, a secret code if you will... It isn't like that. It's not conscious. It isn't something she does to communicate something to you, it's ALL subconscious, like the hair flip, mirroring behaviours, touching the collar bone, biting the lip, etc. It's not a code of conduct.

[RedPenguin]

I get girls shaking their feet towards me all the time, I never really think about it.

 

But only once in a while do I get a whole body turn towards me.

 

But I get girls who look constantly and stare, but I see what you mean that sometimes it may not mean anything.

[Catatonic]

I agree with Jayar. Personally, I look at guys for lots of reasons. It ranges from me being interested to me thinking he's weird. I know sometimes I shift my body position to look at him better - but again, I may do that because I think he's cute and want to see him better or because I think he's acting strange and want to observe more closely.

 

I think it's better not to put too much weight into glances or stares unless there are other behaviors to back them up.

[jettison]

RP,

 

Your posts seem to have a theme. They are usually about some girls laughing, looking, or fawning over you. And, obviously, you have questions for the board about what this or that may mean. Since you're asking the same questions worded 50 different ways, and you're still asking them, I'm guessing that you're not getting your answers on ENA... am I right?

 

If that's the case, then here is my challenge for you. If a women starts flirting with you and smiling, and making a big show of it, then go ask her out on a date. Whether she says yes or no, your questions have been answered, and you'll never have to guess.

 

Just a strange, bizarre, controversial, out-of-left-field, thought for the day.

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, you are right. I just need to go talk to more girls.

 

Out of curiosity, one last question.

 

If you find a guy weird, would you smile at him at all when you glance at him?

[Miss Firecracker]

Do not take a smile to mean anything, RedPenguin.

 

I smile at people all the time, men and women.

 

I agree with jettison. You are never going to figure out what these women think of you by asking us. You have to ask them.

[RedPenguin]

What about a smile then look, look, and more look? LoL. I get that a lot.l

[Raiden]

Looks, looks and more looks can only be a good thing, right?

 

Start acting on it, dude

[ghost69]

she's being nice. try talking and find out.

[ghost69]

no more questions RP. start making moves. then come back here and tell us what happened. then we can analyze for you. it will be much more constructive than the 'what if' and 'possibly?' scenarios.

[RedPenguin]

I see what you mean.

 

I got one girl that, just glances over in real quick glances then looks away, then sneaks in another glance, then looks away.

 

Then sometimes I will look at her and she will smile, other times, she will act like, "What do I do, he's looking at me?"

 

I will not see her again for a while, but just an example.

 

She musta been tryin to hint or something, she did it once then again a week after, so she really must be trying to get my attention or something.

 

Since we can't talk during class, I will look at her and smile, then after class talk.

[jettison]

I see what you mean.

 

I got one girl that, just glances over in real quick glances then looks away, then sneaks in another glance, then looks away.

 

Then sometimes I will look at her and she will smile, other times, she will act like, "What do I do, he's looking at me?"

 

I will not see her again for a while, but just an example.

 

She musta been tryin to hint or something, she did it once then again a week after, so she really must be trying to get my attention or something.

 

Since we can't talk during class, I will look at her and smile, then after class talk.

 

Honestly, I think that you're overthinking this a bit. Thinking this much about every little look, glance, or movement is a little bit stalkerish. With as much as you're examining these ladies, hanging on their every movement, could it be that they are reacting so much simply because you are staring?

 

Again, it's time to take some baby steps toward your goal which is apparently to discern said female's attraction to your animal magnetism. Looks and giggles and glances will get you nowhere. You have to take the next step. Hell, babies get looks and giggles and glances and I'm pretty sure that folks aren't finding them sexually attractive.

 

You have chatroom like safety from afar. You can think anything you like, but never know how genuine your interaction. Why not make an approach?

[JadedStar]

Honestly, I think that you're overthinking this a bit. Thinking this much about every little look, glance, or movement is a little bit stalkerish. With as much as you're examining these ladies, hanging on their every movement, could it be that they are reacting so much simply because you are staring?

 

Again, it's time to take some baby steps toward your goal which is apparently to discern said female's attraction to your animal magnetism. Looks and giggles and glances will get you nowhere. You have to take the next step. Hell, babies get looks and giggles and glances and I'm pretty sure that folks aren't finding them sexually attractive.

 

You have chatroom like safety from afar. You can think anything you like, but never know how genuine your interaction. Why not make an approach?

 

Bravo. I was about to post something similar to this and even what ghost said.

 

RP you spend WAY too much time over thinking this. SOmtimes girls just stare. We are curious creatures.

[IronHorse]

I think he should be grateful he get's looks at all....

 

I never get any looks, what stronger message does one need to say no one's interested in me?

[RedPenguin]

Yeah you are all right.

 

I guess it's just my fear of the past that really makes me super nervous.

 

You have to admit, I am way better then I was before.

 

I couldn't even smile, look, or even do anything around a girl.

 

I would actually walk in the other direction when a girl I found attractive was around.

 

Now I actually force myself to stay in the room, and not be scared, even if I am still somewhat scared.

 

I would never even be able to talk online, the way I used to be.

 

I know my turning point is very soon, I can just feel it.

 

I've made it this far, I just gotta continue.

[JadedStar]

Yeah you are all right.

 

I guess it's just my fear of the past that really makes me super nervous.

 

You have to admit, I am way better then I was before.

 

I couldn't even smile, look, or even do anything around a girl.

 

I would actually walk in the other direction when a girl I found attractive was around.

 

Now I actually force myself to stay in the room, and not be scared, even if I am still somewhat scared.

 

I would never even be able to talk online, the way I used to be.

 

I know my turning point is very soon, I can just feel it.

 

I've made it this far, I just gotta continue.

 

Fear of your past? Dear heart you are 19. The best past is the one you will make over the next few years.

[RedPenguin]

I was just wondering, if this would be an ok idea.

 

I will be doing a presentation around the time I see this girl I am attracted to next.

 

I will probably have a handout to give to the people, so would it be a horrible idea, to slip her a note, saying, mind if we talk after class, or something like that, since I never seem to get to talk to her either in class and she leaves so quickly after class?

 

I mean, I didn't think it would be such a horrible idea, since it's not like I'm being some kind of secret admirer, I'm actually not hiding the fact that I myself, not someone hiding wants to talk to her.

 

I wanted to ask for some opinons before I would do it, so that I don't end up doing something horribly wrong and ruin everything.

 

It also just seemed like a really cute idea to me, but maybe it's not, so I figured, I would again ask for opinons.

[IronHorse]

Bad idea!

 

Make the opportunity present itself where you can ask in person. No don't stalk just be creative and make the opportunity arise. Notes are always bad ideas this isn't the 18th century...

[RedPenguin]

Yeah that's what I thought.

 

I figured I would ask, because it seemed like a good idea yet a bad idea at the same time.

 

I got in trouble in school for notes with girls.

 

But that's when I was so scared I was either secret admirerer or never talked in person.

 

EDIT: Ok, now that I know that I want to talk to her, what's the best way to do it. I never done it before and it feels scary somewhat. It's like my brain is saying, boy it's easy then at the same time, it's saying, get the hell out of that situation, LoL.

 

In class, we are always doing something, so we basically can't talk during class, and she leaves in a hurry after class, so what do I do then?

 

Normally her and her friend get to class a little early like me, so should I just talk about something like, so what did you think of the homework or something?

 

Should I say, boy the weather is nice or something? That classic old line, I always hear about?

 

What about even just simply looking at her, making eye contact at first, smile, and after she smiles, tell her, what a great smile she has? LoL, seems like an easy one to do.

[IronHorse]

I'll send you message not going to give away secrets here in an open forum. You'll understand why later

[Leonhart]

Red: Do you feel it's possible you are seeing what you WANT TO, not what is actually there, when it comes to these females?

[RedPenguin]

Well I think probably but I am not sure most of the time.

 

Most of the time I would have to say, I see things.

 

But this time I know I am not seeing things.

 

The one class she looked at me over and over then looked at me the next class just not as much.

 

I don't know if it at all means anything, I'm just saying, I know I'm at least not seeing things now.

 

I mean I could be wrong and her looking at me may mean nothing at all, but who knows.

 

I just know, I forced myself not to look at her this class, just to find out, if it was actually me staring or not, and apparently this time it was not.

 

But still, I may only think she is looking at me, but I have to admit, she doesn't act like any other girl, I've looked at a lot before. I mean no girl has ever looked back at me that many times and making it that obvious before, which is why I found it somewhat strange.

 

I think because I never got anywhere with girls, especially when it came to a girlfriend, I think many times I hope. I think I hope that something does in fact point to attraction, some kind of attraction.

 

I just get annoyed when a girl stares at you every single day, I mean literally stares, where you can't deny it, and doesn't like you. To me it just doesn't make sense, LoL. Why would you stare at someone every day in class and not be attracted to them at all? Sounds silly to me and I would think it would give the wrong message.

[Phaser]

Yes go early and talk to her.

Ask about homework/assignment/if she likes the lecturer etc

[jettison]

It's because she's guessing that you're attracted to her because you keep looking her way. So now you're playing a little flirting game with each other. It doesn't necessarily mean that she wants to date you (and it doesn't necessarily mean that it doesn't). It means that she finds you attractive enough to play this little silent game with. No harm in that. It shouldn't annoy you. It should just be fun.

 

Right now, you're learning how to flirt a little bit. Cool. Maybe she's doing the same thing. Just because it's the "dreaded, scary woman" doesn't mean she doesn't also perhaps get nervous, unsure of herself, and frustrated by men. Women are more like us then most men will allow themselves to admit.

 

There's a funny truism when it comes to dating and etiquette and attraction. There are no rules. None. It's the law of the wild that rules. This means if you have a strong enough will, and can at least "act" confident enough, that you can get almost anything to work for you.

 

Think "naked, unashamed". This is the mindset. You need not apologize nor feel bad about anything you've done. Just like sex, there's no right or wrong. It's what feels good. If you can make a woman feel good about herself when you're around her then she's always going to want to be around you.

 

And if you do something, and someone tells you "that's wrong!" then that's their trip. Again, there are no rules. So laugh it off. Don't blink. Don't be ashamed. They don't know any more then you do because, just like you, they are a product of their own conditioned mind.

 

The more relaxed and accepting you can be of yourself, no matter how unique, different, or unusual you may or may not be, the more relaxed and comfortable she will be with you.