Should i let him know how i feel??

[judy1111]

We've been NC for the 10th day now ever since he told me he is seeing someone else.. The problem abt me now is that I still hold on to the anger and bitterness coz i got dumped in a very hurtful way.. Cut long story short, I've hold on to the relationship when he was giving me * * * * everyday becoz he was going through hard time in work with his reassurance that we'll be ok once he get his work done for the period of 3 months.. But he dumped me for a woman that he is seeing now.. And he ONLY text me a few cold words and told me that he is seeing someone else now and asked me to move on. No other words after that.. no calls.. no talk.. no communication.. no nothing..

 

So I've been talking to another friend of mine and he suggest that maybe i should let out my stress by letting him know how i feel and that might reduce my stress a little and feel better of moving on.. I don know whether i should do that coz i don think he cares... But my friend said that it helps on my side.. coz this is the way that i can let out of frustration, anger, and bitterneses that I am holding inside.. I've tried writing all my feelings down in a daily basis but it doesn seems to help... should i do wat my friend suggested?

[deepthi]

i also have similer dilemia, don't know. i also break and he is fine. with his wife and children,. that hurt me a lot. i also feel angry and rejected. i also want to tell many things to him. but i think you should write down all your feelings here, people will understand here only these group, and our friends, i don't thing that person will understand these, if he ???? he would have not done to you.

 

i also felt same and wrote my boy friend long mail after break up. but he reply "Thanks for nice mail" that make be more angry that what he understand my feelng and pain. we broke the relationship and he doesn't care for that.

 

so i would suggest you don't make valurable yourself in fount of him. writng emotional mail. that will give him again power position.

 

So i would suggest you, you can write how cheater he is, and how happy you are after break-up. you deserv more honest man then him. it is good that you break these relationship. because he doesn't not at all deserv all your honest feeling and love. save yoour honest feeling and emotion for someone you will also love you.

 

Relationship should be two way. these is not relationship where one person should give everythings are other only receive. no not at all

i am sorry it is hurtung you so much, but trust your self you will be fine. after sometime.................

[PeanutButter]

Theres good and bad to what your friend has said:

 

tha good! you will get off your chest what you been wanting to say to get complete closure, so you feel like what you needed to say is out.

 

bad! he may not care, because hey he broke it off over a text?.. eeh serious you should be glad its over and done with him. anywho the bad may be that he thinks your all up on him and thats why your tryin to talk to him regardless of what you say. guys are strange. all my friends are guys.. i think sometimes i understand or kno guys a little much!!

 

if you feel that your going to benefit from telling him how you feel than go for it, but it all depends on exactly what you are going to tell him. theres some things that just shouldn't be said, but some things that should be let out and not bottled in. what i mean by the things that shouldn't be said are the unnecessary!!

 

try a punch bag.. boxing.. well to let out anger, take a couple boxing classes so you can punch out your anger!

[Clabs]

Hey Judy!

 

I am never an advocate of this final meeting - this closure thing - getting it all out to them - it seems like a good idea at the time, but the end result is never very satisfactory. The reason is that you have a lot of hurt and anger inside and you feel you want to let that out. Unfortunately, as there is so much passionate hate - what you come out with is likely to turn out to be a barrage - a torrent.

 

It is unlikely he will agree to meet in person so you will need to do this by mail or email. He will take one look at it and likely not even finish reading it - and you will likely come accross to him as a nut job and it will vindicate the reason that he dumped you.

 

Look - I will be your ex. Come on here and tell me what you think about me. If there are personal bits - PM it to me.

 

Really get down to it - get all those nagging demons out of your head.

 

Take care honey - you will get there.

 

Mark

[Hearts]

Well I think you should not do it, I' ve been trough it I never really said what I felt, when he just left me all clueless and so, since my bf disappeared on me, I was pretty worried about him and thinking something bad might have been happened to him so I tried to reach him mailed asking if he is ok and so but he never replied my mails, at the end it turned out he was with someone else and not caring me.

To tell you the truth it doesn't feel good when the person infront of you don't really care even a little bit of you when you tell how you feel.

And you can survive without let him now how you feel, sure it will take time but be strong everything will eventually fade and start not to hurt as much as it does now.

[judy1111]

Maybe it is not a good idea after all... but i don need him to care coz i know he doesnt.. i just need to let it out on him in a way... I don know.. I'm so confused at times and no matter wat i do i can't seems to escape myself from the misery..

[Clabs]

Hey Judy.

 

This sucks but it is all quite normal honey.

 

You are doing the right thing here - nothing. If you are unsure and confused whether to do something amidst all this mess then doing nothing is always your best plan of action. If you do nothing - you cannot screw anything up - right?

 

Mark

[Benjyh]

i was also dumped via text, which was very cold and didnt leave me much information, apart from she cheated on me, and wanted me to move on... * * *... so i wrote an email explaning everything and telling her my feelings she contacted me on msn not long after saying, hey, i read your email..lets move on and be friends....wow thanks for that after pooring my heart out i got a cold response, needless to say i felt alot worse afterwards.

 

id say write an email to him, but dont send it and sit on it for a week or more, and then if u still feel the same send it.

 

but as clabs said, if u do nothing, nothing can happen.

[judy1111]

Yeah.. actually I've already wrote it.. doing nothing is good too coz I'll will not screw anything up... I'll just sit and wait until the urge wear off... It will eventually i hope..

[husk]

Hi all Ok i have told my story on here more than once, and here is what im thinking of doing today want to get your opinion. She has never told me anything other then she just wants time to think well its been almost a month and nothing. We went 11 days no contact i sent her a text last wed just a hi how are you, becuas she never said she didnt want to communicate so i was just being nice. She made me believe everything was good with me and her she was just having doubts about being able to move here and me having kids. So she just kinda disappeared. i feel like she is afraid to just say that she wants it over I ahve asked her two or thre times to just tell me and she sayes she dont wahat to say she needs time so when she anwsered my text wed she just said she wasnt ignoring me that she had been thinking about me and she would talk to me later so i ahve heard nothing since wed so it was like a slap in my face. So Im am writing a letter to tell her how i feel it isnt a mean letter actually just a letter to let her know that i want her to be happy and thanks for the good times i have stuf of hers that i am mailing back with it and she ahs my sweatshirt i want back so that is it . I dont know what else to do i cant keep being strung along. Am i doing the right thing what do you all suggest.

[judy1111]

Husk, what is your REAL intention of you sending the mail?

[husk]

i just want to tell her how i feel and end it myself im tired of being strung along. Just want her to know im fnished and leaving her alone and it sint anything bad just telling i enjoyed the time we had and i want her to be happy but im moving on thats all.

[judy1111]

Then its done... just make sure you don expect a reply from her because no matter what she says its gonna hurt once more.. If you really wanna keep thing clear, its best to just keep it that way.. Avoid seeing her face to face even if u r taking bk yr stuff.. Ask yr friend to get it from her or something.. trust me, i don wanna go through that.. u should listen someone that has experience on that...

[husk]

but see what people isnt undertsanding is she has never said she wanted to break up she wont say all she left me with is she needs time to get her mind sorted out but im left here with no time frame nothing so am i suppose to set here and wait for eternity and she never tells me i would just like to know if she is done why dont she tell me last week she is thinking of me and will talk to me later and 6 days later i have heard nothing im just tired of being strung along .

[judy1111]

I understand how u feel.. i was going through that myself for 3 months not knowing whether to move on or to stay on... you only hv 2 ways to choose from.. 1st is to walk away.. 2nd is wait for her to dumped you.. I choose the 2nd one for myself coz i was foolish enough to think that the longer i wait maybe we are going to be fine... but at end, i got dumped in a really bad way.. now i wish i hadn't stay on and wait for him to dump me.. at least that will save me some dignity..