Going on day out with the ex ... she's asking if she can bring friends!

[CrapAtNC]

I'm 39 and Western; she's 31 and Asian. Broke up in February after 9 months (she the dumper), but have been intimate on and off until two weeks ago. She had a rebound in May but broke up with him very quickly as she was confused (we were most intimate at that time).

 

Tried NC, and she would always get in touch after a few days. Stayed at her apartment for 4 days just a few weeks ago. She said she wanted me to stop wanting her, to move on, etc., but her actions said otherwise. I agreed, and am now dating a previous ex, and she knows about it. Things got a little rocky the last couple of weeks, but a little NC soon sorted that out. We chatted on MSN for four hours last night, like we always used to, and it was nice and friendly. She didn't reject my flirtations.

 

OK, so that's the background. We had always planned to go taking stock photos together every weekend (I have an agent sell images for me, and the ex is a good photographer who wants to be able to do the same), so I told her I was going to a very pretty and interesting location this Sunday, and if she was still interested in stock photography, she could come. It would be a three- or four-hour expedition.

 

I was surprised when she agreed. But then, she's also considering coming to work for my organization too - which was also a surprise as I thought she wanted us both to move on completely (well, I know she doesn't really want that, but anyway).

 

The thing is, the last message I got from her, she was asking if she could bring a friend, or friends.

 

What would you make of this? Should I agree? Of course I intended for it be a kind of mini-date for us (her best friend, who she confides in, amazed me by suggesting I try dating her again and build our relationship from there), though mostly it was for us to spend a little time together again, in a relaxing environment, and do what we both enjoy doing and have been wanting to do for some time. But should I allow her friends to come? I don't mind if they do - her friends are all very nice and good fun - but what message would that send out? Do you think she's really wanting to keep me at a distance from now on, or is this just a first phase kind of thing? Or should I read nothing into it and just enjoy spending time with her and her friends - it's a good idea to get in with them anyway, right?

 

So many questions, I know. I'm cool with her now, and I've accepted that we may never get back together and she may, indeed, already be seeing someone else. I'm happy dating other girls right now, but I really do have special feelings for the one this post is about. I'd like to get back with her, and I believe she does too but is afraid of getting hurt if we were to break up again. Anyway, I'd appreciate any feedback, and also any advice on how to make the 'date' a success (leave her wanting to spend more time with me ... alone next time, preferably! ).

 

Thanks!

[agent1607307371]

Honestly, she's said she wants you all to move on. So stop listening to her friends and what you want to hear and listen to what she's actually saying.

 

Anything else is just going to lead to frustration.

 

She's asking if her friend can come along because she doesn't want you to think it's a date and wants someone else there to keep a buffer in place.