Girl I am dating has BF

[Dev007]

So I met this girl a few days ago at a bar. She said I was adorable and she was hitting on me strongly. We exchanged numbers and we hugged goodbye.

 

We talked on the phone a couple times and then we met up again last night. We had a couple drinks, did a little dancing and a lot of talking. She also kissed me out of no where and then said sorry and she was a bad person. I asked why and she said because she " kinda" has a boyfriend right now.

 

I tried to play it cool and let it slide by not making anymore moves towards her but when I was leaving the bar she grabbed me and we had a little make out session.

 

I am nervous that she is just using me to make her BF jealous or to get back at him. (she thinks he cheated on her) But she seems to actually like me.

 

Anyone been in a situation like this? How did it end? What should I do?

[Zackinlaw]

You are considering starting a relationship with a cheater. The most likely end is that you will be in the same position as her current bf some day!

 

Zack.

[willow2900]

Walk away!

 

She has a boyfriend, and she told you that she is having trouble with him. You are a pawn in her game to hurt her boyfriend and toy with his emotions. Let alone, she is toying with yours.

 

You want someone that flaky? Do you want someone who will do the same to you here?

 

End it by not seeing her again. If she calls, tell her that you are not interested in being a part of her games with her boyfriend.

 

You deserve better than this!

[jettison]

Argh! I've definitely been there. If you can enjoy yourself and not get attached then there is nothing wrong with it, per say, unless the other guys is part of a serious LDR. However, how serious can this LDR be, and how long is it likely to last if she's making out with you? In that case, it's not like you're helping to destroy something since it's already toast.

 

However, the chances that this hookup is going to lead to something significant is pretty slim in my book.

[CharLit]

Aw, I'm sorry Dev, it sucks to hit it off with someone and then hear this

I would not let this continue any further if were you for a number of reasons:

 

1) you are worth more than being her bit of fun on the side. You deserve someone who wants you and only you

 

2) whatever her boyfriend has done, she is still not right to cheat on him. If he cheated on her she should forgive him or leave - not find someone else first. You're helping her cheat.

 

3) Whatever her reasons for it, she's a cheater. If she does choose you over her boyfriend, will you ever stop wondering whether/when she will cheat on you?

 

If you're not put off by the fact that she's deceived you (by not telling you straight away she had a boyfriend) and betrayed him, and if you're into her, i would tell her that you'd like to pursue this, but not as long as she's seeing someone else. Tell her to look you up if she breaks up with her boyfriend.

 

Take care!

[Dev007]

Darn I guess I should have known better. It is just hard when you get caught up in the moment. I love it when women are aggressive too.

[curbie]

I'm assuming she's totally wasted when she's making out with you. Either way...I wouldn't pursue this girl. She's playin' around and needs to learn the difference in what she's doing to you and herself. Walk away.

[Dev007]

Nah she wasn't wasted at all. We only had 2 drinks each and we were there for 3 hours. but i will walk

[Zackinlaw]

Nah she wasn't wasted at all. We only had 2 drinks each and we were there for 3 hours.

 

That makes her behavior even worse!

[jul-els]

but i will walk

 

Run!!!!!!!!

[ghost69]

classic girls out here man. all typical snots. kind of have bfs or are already seeing someone and still go out and meet guys. so many snots out here.

 

i wouldn't even think of seeing a girl if she told me that information.

[JadedStar]

That makes her behavior even worse!

 

yeah dude. if she were tipsy that would be one thing. not acceptable but we know alcohol lowers ones inhibitions. but to not have been drunk at all you clearly know she just behaves this way completely sober!

[OmegaMan]

What goes around comes around.

 

She is displaying her true colors.

 

What makes you think that she wouldn't cheat on you?

 

I don't want to make any hasty conclusions, but be wary friend, be very wary. I smell treachery afoot.

 

Maybe it's the first time she's done that however and she really is trying to find a way out of her relationship.

 

I kissed a girl once when I had my girlfriend. It was selfish of me and I don't think I would do it again. I don't consider this brands me as a cheater. I've learned from this because I did hurt my girlfriend (whom I didn't love anymore and consistently wanted out).

 

A tough call. Good luck.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

if you dont mind living in drama then keep doin what you doin

 

leave that woman alone.......leave her alone, how many red flags doo u need too see

[BeStrongBeHappy]

really simple answer: tell her to call you IF she breaks up with her boyfriend. don't agree to anything less.

 

then go about your business looking for girls who are really available, not someone else's (cheating) girlfriend.

[Zackinlaw]

really simple answer: tell her to call you IF she breaks up with her boyfriend. don't agree to anything less.

 

I would add one thing to that ... make no promises that you will be her new boyfriend if she breaks up with her old one.

 

Zack.

[Dev007]

I would add one thing to that ... make no promises that you will be her new boyfriend if she breaks up with her old one.

 

Zack.

 

I like those ideas. I will just have to call her out and see what the real story is here.

[PocoDiablo]

I'm glad to hear the OP is walking.

 

I would not give her another chance - she's a liar, a cheater, and an attention junkie. This is the EXACT type of woman I tell all men to AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

 

She's got two guys giving her 100% energy, and she only has to give 50%. You're getting a raw deal.

 

Besides, her BF might try to kick your head in ... Really just not worth it.

[Dev007]

Besides, her BF might try to kick your head in ... Really just not worth it.

 

haha yeah that is one thing I was worrying about. I got cheated on once and I know how much is sucks and how angry a person could get. I didn't do anything crazy, but some people might

[servedcold]

... puts on flame suit... Many otherwise OK women say they have a boyfriend when they really don't, are really broken up, on a break, ending a LDR, etc etc etc. They do this for several reasons, most importantly to blow off men who seem ok at first then go stalky or psycho on them later. More detail needed please. How specific was she about the BF?

 

Men and women both fib in the very early stages about all kinds of things, especially in the bar/club scene. If you disqualify every woman you meet who gives you a line like this, you are gonna miss some opportunities with decent women. Not saying she is or isn't worth your time, you need more info.

 

Let he who has never asked for a phone number insincerely and said "Nice meeting you will call soon," never intending to OR

 

Let she who has never given out a false phone number, or her real phone number never intending to answer or call back...

 

cast the first stone.

[Dev007]

hmmm well she didn't mention much about her previous or current relationships. She had said she was in 1 4year and 1 3 year LTR. It sounded like she had been cheated on more than once.

 

I will have to find out more and update this post. Talking isn't cheating.

[OmegaMan]

Definitely investigate further.

 

I don't think it's as simple as black and white here.

 

In other words I don't think she's a witch that should be burned on a stake because of what she has done.

 

How about if like some other poster has implied she has been cheated on numerous times by her current boyfriend or if she wants to break up with him but have yet to courage to do it?

 

She could be selfish and just disrespect you and her current boyfriend.

 

But it could be something else.

 

I wouldn't make a decision based on vague assumptions.

 

I stick to my first post, everyone is allowed to mess up every once in a while.

 

Find out the truth behind the whole thing.

 

All the best.

[OmegaMan]

I completely agree with you.

[JadedStar]

I base my thoughts on this on her demeanor, how she laughingly and slyly says "i kind of have a b/f".

 

I will bet you twenty bucks that this girl very much has a steady b/f and likes to flirt around on the side, and using the "he has cheated on me" is an excuse for her behavior.

 

She sounds like bad news to me. And that is just my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

 

I'd drop her and not even bother to call her back. The world doens't need people like this to be encouraged with their behavior.