I Wish.....

[devast]

Poochie, thanks for your blessed advice... Yes I know He will lead me to what's best for me or at least what's meant for me...

 

Gemini, I agree with Poochie... NC is the way out with our situation like many in this forum... It is better to just vent it here... post the things that we want to tell our exs... just put it in here... coz it isn't a good idea to tell them exactly how you feel.. how much we miss them... how much we love them... or how sorry we were... or admitting how stupid we were... Coz it won't affect them but prove or show more of our weaknesses...

 

And the thing is... if they don't feel the same way as we do... nothing about we initiate would ever matter to them.. it will just hurt us even more to realize we are just "a friend" to them... and that's the best they can share with us...

 

Let us just let NC work its wonders... until such time that we feel the same way with them... and "just friends" is the most that we expect from them... then keeping in touch and in contact isn't bad at all..

 

Poochie, you've been struggling for years now?... Oh my God.... I wish that won't happen to me....

[Pkittie]

Hi Devast,

 

You seem to be very mature from your talks...Yes sometimes the best can they can share with us is to be frens...We can never force someone to feels for us the way we feel. As Lonely doll said " We can't appreciate light till we have seen darkness" If it helps you...I'm in same shoes as you..I live alone in US & my family is back in India. So living alone in another country ,facing heartbreak is very hard. Plz feel free to write to me anytime & I shall reply pronto.

 

I got divorced 5 yrs back. I'm 32 yrs old now. When my hubby left me I too felt like committing suicide & then one day I actually did. i never died but went thro excruciating pain...they washed my stomach & all the insect repellant was sucked from my stomach. I was told by docs to find a purpose for life. We will die for sure one day but selfishly we want love for us which god doesn't desire us to have atleast not right now. We need a bigger purpose in life. We should leave thsi world a little better than before. I feel i have to find a bigger purpose in life. So should you...i used to think i'll never love again till 3 yrs back i fell in love again...only to have this guy walk out on me again after few months. I realized in my weakness I had once again found someone who treated me like * * * *. And since past two and a half yrs I'm struggling to get over him. I never folllowed NC.. after 6 months of dumping me he cam e back to say sorry. I was back to ground zero. again his b'day I contacted to wish him & then my b'day he called..All In all in moments of weakness every six months or so we end up reviving contact even it be a quick mail. And it has not taken me anywhere....except more misery...more missing...where as both my exes are leading blisfully happy lives...Becoz if somebody loves U they will never leave you......

 

In essense i have come to the humble conclusion that NC is the only way to get over them completely. Becoz you can never force anyone to loveyou...You have to love yourself & wait for that angel who will come & change ur lifeAgain no guarantees that the next person in your life will be the one....i'm a living example of that.... but please if you believe we all care about you at ENA stick to NC. it hurts VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY U love someone & crave to talk to them and they only laugh & say hey have U found anyone else????????

[devast]

The line in bold is just so true... And for that I cut my contact to my ex from less to none at all.... she kept pushing it before when I was in LC with her..kept asking me like that and even suggested that I should go out to meet other women... And when I asked her why she's so pushing me to find another woman, and directly said to her "Maybe you've found someone new now"... and then she said "don't change the topic".... And then a few days or weeks after that she admitted she had been going out on a date and one of whom she was dating she introduced to her mom... in my mind "I knew it!! she's pushing me to get rid of her guilt that she had someone new already or to implicate that she, maybe, have cheated on me... actually"... So i am in NO contact now for more than 2 months now..

 

Anyway.... I just sent a message to her mother yesterday to greet her happy birthday.... and that's all... and thats just my intention... "to greet and send regards"... her mother replied to me today saying 'thanks'.... and... "How are you"....etc etc...

 

Well there's suppose to be nothing wrong with thanking me for the greetings... at least I expected that... but asking me "how are you".... NAH... just sounds like her own daughter.... trying to be nice... or just want to "at least say something" but doesn't really matter if I am fine or not... after all her daughter already introduced someone else to her...

 

I should have felt better and felt honesty from her mother if "she just sent me a simple 'thank you'... Or maybe I wasn't expecting anything from her family any form of pity to me.. I am not a physically strong but vegie useless poor person who doesn't want to make things worth living for me... I don't need them to be nice to me...

 

My apologies to her mother... But I just want to stay friends to them (not ready to be friends to my ex though) I just hope they are not thinking I am still waiting for their daughter or sister...