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Would you continue to see him/her?

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My boyfriend "Noah" is 20, just started attending the local U. I graduate in May. I am 23. We have been seeing each other for some time, off and on, due to studying abroad and other factors. But only now are we getting to really know each other.


He seems to intend on marrying me someday, saying things like, I will take care of you, when we get married this-and-that, you will be a good wife for me, I would still want you even after a thousand kids, etc. Basically, alluding to the future in terms of the two of us together. Now comes the fun.


You see, he's doing the ROTC program and will go into the Navy after college for some years. Only after this (end of his 20s), he says he will be ready to marry and have a family.


That's nice and all, but I'm older than he is! I don't want to wait TOO long! I'm almost done with college and I hoped I'd be starting a family within about 5 years of graduation, or at least least be with someone who thinks of me as a real prospect for the future.


I love the guy, and I'd wait for him, but should I, considering how indefinite it is? He's a very bright and mature person for his numerical age, as I feel I am, and so please don't come back at me for being too immature/young to be considering lifetime commitments!!


I would like to stay with him. Should I spend my time in a relationship such as this that has no guarantees? I know nothing is guaranteed, but most of my friends are in solid relationships, and that is what I would like to have as well.


Thank you for your help!



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You are in a bind. You seem to having conflicting interests. I dont feel comfortable telling you what you "should" do. It sounds like settling down is important to you. You clearly set goals for youreself. It also sounds like this guys is very special to you. I suggest you do something that may feel primative, but it works. Take out a piece of paper and weigh the pros and cons of staying in the relationship. Also consider what family and friends may have to say. Their output can be very valuable in making a decision. Finally, give youreself some time to "think it over". Go over the pros and cons. Go over the general consensus of youre friends and family. Think about it and execute a decision. I believe you will make the right one. Either way, take youre time and think carefully. You are deciding youre future. Once you make youre decision go confidently and dont look back.


Best wishes.

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Age is nothing but a number. What im saying though, is that you need to sit and talk to him about things, if he loves you as much as he says. Maybe he will take it into consideration. Or maybe you should. You have to come to a truce with things or else everything else is going to go nuts. Never give up though. NO matter what happens with me and my boyfriend... if you love him... NEVER give up... your love is worth it!

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you need to assess your needs against your partners. If you can't match that way, perhaps it's best to look for something different. You seem to mention things that would lead me to think your bf still has a lot of maturing to do and life to explore. If this is the case, and you're not gonna be willing to wait so long, then maybe you should move on.


I'm not suggesting that is the best thing for you. I'm just suggesting that if you don't see a future with him then you should move on. Otherwise if it's good, stick with it.



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