A horrible situation!

[BILLEON2005]

Well this is my first post and need a couple of un-biased friendly responses!

 

Hello, 1.5 years ago I moved to the city I now reside. I was a confident fit motivated young man fresh to the city looking for my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! The Apartments I was living in there was a beautiful young woman who I had passed by and said hello to on a few time past, i then find out from my neighbors she had a crush on me and thought I was a great guy.

She was a troubled young woman looking for love I could tell in the wrong places, She had a drug habbit and was very scared! her family was giving her tough love by not helping her and she had an 8 year old daughter that had been with the grandmother for three years. I knew better than to involve my self with her but I wanted to help her by becoming friends and trying to be there for her. After being friends for a couple of months we began to become closer and closer, we went out one night and bang here we go! At this time she was the most caring loving consideriate goo goo eyed girl in the world, she told all her friends that I was the best man she ever met. I never gave it thought that all her friends we males, also with drug habbits and they were very upset she brought an outsider into there circle! Her best friend it seems was her Ex husbands best friend, I know every one will say she was sleeping with him but I never felt that was was the case he is an obese late 30's man who had no job and had a meth habbit also they were support for each other and he was like a big brother to her. When we first got together life was perfect we were two pee's in a pod. Her mother was saying how CRAZY she was about me and I was a GOOD christian man. As time went on the child that had been with her mother was inflicted with cebrial palsey and I pushed to get her back to heal herself from her problems. This is when things got messy,Her mother became more and more controling and dominant in our relationship, she was one of those self rightious finger pointing bible throwing holy than thou people and tried to dominate our relationship. My ex now became torn between us and her family because she was never ready to fully take care of her daughter alone with her condition and needed much assistance with the child from her mother! And her Ex husband was a horrible guy not wanting to help because she devistaded him in there divorce and he was very jaded as time went on things went down hill, I threatend to leave her because the deck was stacked against me and she said she did not want a wishy washy guy!

 

As time went on things went bad, her friends and mother were alway a pest in our relationship we moved in together after dating for a month or two, she had access to my car and money to help for the bills. after 13 months we moved into a bigger place and she promised if this happened she would be happy so we did it! After fight after fight I got fed up and went home after she said I made her daughter throw up, her mother was there and I could tell they were talking about me so I grabbed my stuff which was everything in the house and loaded it up and left. It was horrible she scratched me and tried pop one of my nuts with her fingers she was devistated and said no ever left her before and I had the power and utilities shut down before I left to show her how much I do for her she was basic sitting on crates!

 

 

Here is were my problem lies, I felt I made a mistake and tried to get back with her because I was so clouded by her people always controling her and giving there advice to her. At first she was open to the Idea and she invited me over for dinner and she then seduced me into sex. She then started being less receptive to me after that saying when I'm ready I will let you Know, I just want to be friends for now! I was confused and pestered her and acted so un confident to her she was disgusted by me!

 

After time went on she became more and more hatefull to me saying you are a lier and a deciever to leave her alone! I just asked her for closure and tried to ask her if she really loved me and she said yes until I left her! She now has a job and she pays all her bills and says she wants nothing to do with me she i VERY HAPPY now GET LOST, after supporting her and her daughter for all this time how could she lose feeling for another helpful human who had compassion for her? I saw her at church trying to avoid her we walked in late at the same time at the exact moment with no one around and she acted as if I was stalking her and became weird and then acted if I where not there it crushed me! She now says after being beaten on by her ex's cheated on treated like crap I am the worst man she has ever met and GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM LOSER! What happened where did I go wrong??

 

I am sorry for the long post post I had to get it all out!

[Clabs]

Hi Billeon

 

Welcome to Enotalone, and I am only sorry you have to come here under such sad circumstances. Don't worry about the long post - it can be very theraputic to write all your thoughts down

 

I have to say that everything about this girl seems to have bad new written all over it. Her drug addiction, her daughter taken away, her drug addicted best friend, her controlling and dominant parents and all the other turmoil going through her head.

 

You sound like a decent and caring kind of guy and threw yourself into tyring to help her - to save her. But I think that in the cold light of day, there are too many factors that are stacked up and making sure the relationship was doomed to failiure.

 

This in no way reflects on you as a person. I think you are well out of it and should put it down to a very bad experience and move on.

 

Sorry my answer is quite short - but as I see it, it is a no brainer.

 

Take care and look after yourself.

 

Mark

[BILLEON2005]

I was such a punk and called her all the time crying and begging. And I am the one who left, it's sick I feel I gave her all the power and now she says she is the happiest she has ever been! She has no heart and she feels that she needs to move on to bigger and better things. She told me I was the best she has ever had, Now I am a loser to her! Sometimes I feel as if I should have left her where I found her. I have alot of bitterness and I feel I don't want to help people in need, but I am working on this!!

[Clabs]

Hey Billeon!

 

Don't beat yourself up. It speaks lots about what a decent guy you are, but sometimes people just cannot be fixed. You are a young guy, and you need to put it all down to experience.

 

You will soon find a decent girl who doesn't need to be fixed and shows you the love and respect to build up a relationship rather than someone who just wants to destroy it.

 

Take it easy and look after yourself. The bitterness will soon fade - time is a great healer.

 

Mark

[BILLEON2005]

I guess the old saying love is blind is so true!

[Clabs]

That is sooo true, bro - those rose coloured glasses have a lot to answer for!

 

Take it easy.

 

Mark

[BILLEON2005]

I am having a hard time dealing with this break up! This was the first time we split and I don't see how she moved on so fast and is so hateful to me saying I am a fraudulant person and I have a dual personality saying she thought I was a christian but that I really was'nt, she was there the whole time and know's me for who I am I feel like a total chump!

[Clabs]

Hey Billeon!

 

Mate - this one is a wrong'un! In reality she has far from gotten over you. I think she realises that she wont be able to get you back so she just insults you more to try to get back at you - and hey - it's working. Don't let her mess your head up - there is nothing wrong with you!.

 

Take it easy

 

Mark

[BILLEON2005]

Clabs, I have tried to get back with her over and over and she refuses to budge and now insults and says I am over you, you are no good, and changed her number, I can't seem to deal with it, I know I have to suck it up but damn why so harsh to a good guy?? I should have protected my feelings better!