Zgirl

OK ... details would take too much time for what I suspect, but I think the guy I really like might be gay. If he is, that's ok ... but I'd like to know for sure so I can keep our relationship not only in tact, but help it to grow. I just want to know where I stand so I can stop 'coming on' to him - if he's not interested that way. SO ... what I need ... is ANYTHING you can tell me that might give me better insight. What should I be looking for ... what kinds of things might he say or do that will tip me off? ... I really care about this guy and love being with him, we get along great - he just doesn't seem sexually interested and never seems to make a pass at me! Any information will be helpful - and if you've ever been in my shoes, please share ... I hope somebody can help me!!

yup ... she's interested. Would she sit on your lap, nap with you, smile at you, make goo-goo eyes, and invite you to sleep over-night if she didn't??? ok ... now that we can clearly see that she's interested we have to figure out a plan! The 'boyfriend' is the first issue. Somehow, some way you need to find out exactly what's up with that. My suggestion is to either wait for her to mention him, or for you to boldly ask her yourself. You might want to simply say, "listen ... I'd like to know how serious your relationship with your boyfriend is?" then, give her a chance to open up. If she says they're in love and all that stuff, like it's pretty serious, then you might want to ask her what she expects from you. If she says things are a mess with him, then casually ask why she hasn't ended the relationship. You'll know what to say depending on her response ... just be yourself - be honest about what you feel - be brave and confident. It sounds to me like you are both into each other, she is comfortable with you, enjoys your company and she obviously trusts you!

ouch the turth does hurt, i guess but i thank you i never even considered the things you mentioned - well maybe i did, but didn't want to think about them! guess i better take off these rosy glasses, huh? maybe it for the best if i just let things alone, do my job, enjoy his company and leave it at that thanks!

read his body language ... i try ... and have done some research on the web about this very subject! i guess i'm not sure if i trust what 'i think' i see. does THAT make sense? things he does . . . the wide eyed, raised eyebrow thing - with a smile when he sees me! the body facing me when he sits, legs parted, toes pointed in my direction lots of eye contact, downright gazing in my eyes he laughs at my jokes body contact when he needs to show me something gets the dropsies and says "and i was trying to be so smooth" (smile) stretches and flexes -to what? ... show off for me!? plays with objects when we're together talking -is he nervous? hmm ... am I blind? or what? is he waiting for me to make a move, do i dare?? *appreciate a male perspective

hey greeneyes ... gosh, you really are in a similar situation. thinking about planting that first kiss is so tempting and SO scary! It's not knowing how he'll react that stops you cold, right!?? If he's receptive, it'll be the sweetest thing - if he's not - it could seriously screw things up. My "boss" got so dangerously close to me the other day, gave me a 'look' but then walked away - and I swear the hairs on my neck went up! Freaked me right out, in a nice way. WHY did I hesitate when all i wanted to do was lean over and kiss him!!?? (it's all I think about!! - it's all planned in my head how it will be too!) You've been that close too, right, and wasn't sure what the hell to do!! We just aren't sure what THEY are thinking. Even talking about it is a risk, one we aren't willing to take - fear of rejection maybe. Emotional foreplay!! That's what it is. Sometimes, I wonder if it's better to keep things romantically tense, never crossing the line ... cause once you do, things will never be the same. Living on the edge can be quite a 'rush' but do we want to really jump?? It's scary and yet we all want to 'go there', just to see what it's like.

This guy where I work has been making 'eyes' at me for a while and so I've been flirting back. I was falling for him, naturally. Then, I was placed in his department about 3 months ago and he's now my 'boss' ... he's also 14 years younger than me! (the age difference is NOT an issue, or my problem - I just wanted you to know the facts- in fact we look the same age!) He's single, though dating, but from everything I can gather, he's not thrilled with his current g/f. I'm married, but it's more of a technicality than any sort of relationship - I haven't been intimate with my husband in years, no hugging, no kissing either, and that's been my choice. ANYWAY ... now that i work with this guy, I'll call him "M" I find that I'm really falling in love with him. I flirt outrageously, and we joke all day long, smile at each other, stare, talk, and work together perfectly. He'll trick me into reaching for things for him and smile at me when I've realized he's done it on purpose, to check out my butt! I catch him watching me sometimes too. When he stands next to me for whatever reason, it always seems too close, sometimes touching but I like it! He'll brush against me when he walks by, innocently of course- even if there is ample room to pass. He's always polite, kind, amusing, charming and just the thought of him makes me smile. His sense of humor is in sync with mine and that's a bonus! Sounds pretty good, right? Well . . . here's my question. Is he flirting with me and just hasn't worked up the courage to do more, or is there a real possiblity that he is gay? I know ... I know ... you're wondering what makes me think that?! OK, the thing is HE doesn't say anything flirty back, not with words ... he hasn't asked me out for a drink ... hasn't tried 'anything' - not even a kiss or touch (just those subtle things I mentioned). He never seems to check out girls ... never even talks about them the way my other guy friends do, he sometimes jokes using that "s" sound as a lisp when we talk about sterotypical 'gay stuff' ... and today was the kicker ... there was an article in the newspaper about the recent gay marriages in San Franciso thing, and I happened to mention it and he asked what I thought about 'all that'. Normally that wouldn't strike me as odd, but he rarely askes me a point blank question that requires my 'opinion'. I was honest, said that it didn't bother me at all - people have the right to live they way they choose- if they're happy, it's all that really matters. He said he felt the same way, and that it didn't bother him either. Most of the guys I know don't even care to discuss such topics - maybe they're homophobic - or just don't care to talk baout it. So ... I'm a little confused. I'm an attractive woman, smart, funny, sincere and kind - unusual and caring. I just don't get this guy ... whom I'm so attracted to ... I wish I knew for sure if he were gay. I'd still love him, he's amazing to me ... but at least I'd know why things havent' progressed. I can only hope this crap made sense to you - I tend to babble and get off topic ... so if you've gotten this far, thanks. Anything you can offer by way of advice would be appreciated! thanks, Zgirl