Grease monkey

tell me, why do we go on, even though we know that one day we will die? why do we try to build ourselves up only to be beaten back down again? why do we always hurt those we love the most? why do we never take the chance when it is given to us? why is the person we would like to be with always the one we cant? sorry, lots of questions and i know, not very many answers. just questioning life. line from a song keeps running through my head, why am i trying to live if im just living to die. and so far in this life all ive done is muck up most of the things that have been good.

i think it may just be self esteem, there are a lot of people who trust me, and who i trust, at times im very confident, when im feeling low though, i will try and steer clear of everybody. the only way i can really describe myself is that, im a bit of a loner yet i like to be round people.

hi all.... like it says, help. ive got a bit of a problem, ok a hell of a problem. here goes, dont promise that it will make sense though erm........ ok...... here we go........ ive recently split up with my g/f, last friday to be precise. it was a long time coming, now i look back i can see that, and yes it was my fault. for a couple of years, not started atfter split.... ive been going through, what i think are bouts of depression....... one minute i will be on a high, then next minute i will be on a low..... there are times when i will be on a really bad low which can last for a couple of weeks..... most ive had is a month........ there have also been times when ive come close to saying stuff it, and ending it all..... now recently ive had a reason not to, and that was my g/f, now its cos i promised someone i wouldnt do anyhitng stupid me and my ex are still good mates.... been to see her.... talked to her sister, and her mate etc.......... were still cool. the problem is, my ex said that her and everyone else, even her sister had noticed how much closer i was to her sister, and that they all knew that there was something more there, i dont know, they could be right, i think they are right, it could be that i aint been willing to admit it to myself, but i think i just have, the rpbolem is, when i got home i emailed my ex, asking her what everyone else could see that i couldnt, what everyone else KNEW that i didnt....... then i said, that even if i did have feelings for someone, i wouldnt act on them, cos in my eyes, they would think that i was using them to get over my ex, strangely enough i am over my ex, i think i realized a while ago that i was over her, just wouldnt let it go.... the problem is, she told her mum that i had feelings for her sister, her mum then told my ex's sister.... got a text from the sis saying i know something interesting about you, then i replied what, and it went on, till i told her how i felt, ie, i like her a hell of a lot, now this threw her a bit, then i said what now? she said dont know, she needed time to think about it........ then i said, do you still wnat to be mates, or do you want me to disappear? (dont think what i actually said will get through the filter )she said no, and whatever happens we will be mates forever. now im regretting telling her how i felt, cos i dont want to put someone through what i put my g/f through, my ex knows how i feel at mo, depressed about past and so on, so does her sis. the problem is i dont know what to do, if we end up going out then i wont complain. but if we dont, then i wont complain either, i just fear it may damage the friendship, i know ive got to go and see someone, cos its affected my work, in a spot of bother with my sick record now but then again i dont want ot see someone. i know there isnt really much there to go on, but i really need advice, and fast, cos there are times when i struggle to keep my promise. i continually feel like im banging my head against a brick wall ](*,) i apologise for the grammar and spelling, and any words that upset the filter.

as daft as it may sound, i was burnt by friends so to speak, and now im nervous of letting my g/f get close to, or me to her as well..... it could be that he was burnt and is unsure, or nervous, like the idea of, touch the flame it hurts, so dont touch it again all i can suggest is talk to him about it, if he has feelings for you, he will let them out, just give him time and talk to him.

like it says, im 19, and my g/f's 17, weve known each other 5 yrs or so, been best friends, and weve been going out for 5/6 months, her parents have said theyre ok with us having sex, but, im very scared, and very nervous, about taking things to that next step, so to speak, are feelings like this normal? sensible? rational? i know that if we do 'it' it has to been done properly i.e. contraceptives and so forth. still im bloody nervous. i think a better way of describing it would be that im afraid. and no i aint talked about it with my g/f, well not really, we talked about it a while ago, but not about how i feel about it. help. any advice welcome, ive talked about this with a mate at work, i trust him with absolutely anything, he said just take things as they come. any advice at all would be good. Thank you. (i apologise for poor spelling and grammar)