Frodo Baggins

Honestly, it probably would have been better not to go in the first place. She was cool with you installing the sound system there because you were gonna be there to work. They may say it's okay, but deep down, for many it still hurts to have the image of the person you love getting a lap dance. But what happened happened, and since that cannot be changed, you did the right thing in telling her about it. Chances are she was gonna find out anyway, it would look REALLY bad if she heard it through other channels of communication. It would cast a nefarious veil over what you did, like you were sneaking around or you might think you could keep it from her. Honesty is the best policy, so whether she liked the fact you went or not, she can appreciate you having the respect for her to be forthcoming about it.

Ash is right, it's not something "ALL MEN" want, but it's something that is rather common as maybe a curiosity. It varies from just wondering about it, to fantasizing about it, to actually trying to convince their partner into it, but yes, some of the fascination comes from it being taboo and basically "unaccepted." It's a separation from conventional sexual intercourse, it's "risque" and "exciting;" but it isn't something that is universal or broad in scope to apply to all men. To say so is to say all women look for large penises; it's all a matter of taste.

Hmm, It's difficult to say, we're short on details, but no, you aren't being stupid. Signals can vary from relationship to relationship; some are hard to distinguish, especially when two people are as close as you two seem to be. From what's been posted, those "signals" can mean anything from liking you to just being comfortable around you as a friend. It's moments like these that you have to step back and look at the friendship itself, you can't rely on those gestures alone. They're only a part of the equation, you need to take into consideration her personality, where you stand with her, how long it's been, and several other factors. It's looking at things like these that keep you in perspective, because while it may be important to act on instinct, it's also important to make sure you don't get ahead of yourself. It's something you'd want to be sure of. Certainly, there's always going to be a hint of risk, and the risk is worth it, but as I said, it would help to be sure of what it is you're seeing, because if you're wrong, it could make for a very awkward situation. Then again, you don't want to let that ship sail by either, that's the fine line you need to walk along when it comes to relationships. It's a bit of instinct and a bit of perceptiveness, and a bit of nerve, and being able to manage all of those into an outcome you can live with. Feel free to post any more ideas you have, some more clues would help in coming to a conclusion.

Could it be the public thing? Are you one that doesn't feel comfortable showing affection in public or hinting at intimacy, even if it's as simple as a kiss? Like you might be judged by people around you? If that's it, then don't fret, it's perfectly natural. Sometimes it may come from a feeling that "personal things" are to be kept hidden, like there's a public face and a private face to the relationship. That's not to mean that you're ashamed of your relationship, but that you might have two established spheres, and you don't feel comfortable when they come together. As the other people above me have mentioned, you shouldn't worry, just go in and do it. They've spoken very valuable advice, all I can add is that she is you gfriend, after all, I'm sure she wants to be kissed. If you have that level of understanding and intimacy, just go for it, she won't be caught by surprise. And if she is, she'll probably like it.