badbadbad

Maybe it's because I was always called "mature for my age", but I don't get all this maturity talk. "Maturity level", if there is such a thing, what the hell does that mean anyway? Is there some kind of chart in some high school health textbook? To a 13 year old, a guy who has a car seems to be a mature thing, but if that person is 25 and living in his parent's basement, he might be quite immature...So, if the 13 year old is really "mature for her age" (say she has a great vocabulary and enjoys watching CSPAN) does this mean that the "maturity levels" equal out and these 2 would make a good couple? More Thoughts: The so-called maturity scale is a tool used by the immature to justify something. Not sure what. I don't think a mature person really uses the word mature. So I guess that makes me pretty immature then, since most of this post is comprised of the flippin word. Just face it: any one under 25-30 is going to be immature in more ways than they know...you'll realize this later. I'd go even further and suggest that after a certain point unique to each person's life the word is moot...personally I think this post is the 1st time I've used the word in a sentence (or 10) in about 10 years... Do I have a point? Ehhh, maybe I already made it...or not. One thing I have learned here is that girls like older guys, so even tho I'm old (33) I could still find true love with someone half my age! Thanks e-Not-Alone! see ya, off to play Doom3 online (mature or not?) d> ps... for the record, I stick with 25 and up...unless they are REALLY hot... (I'm so NOT funny...)

Going out on a limb, I bet you're both too young. Personally I really think most people should have the experience of losing a love (cos I did, lol...once or twice), if they are ever to know how truly lucky they are to be mutually in love. Better to have some pain, build some character, and learn a few things about life outside of marriage, than to hook up young when you're high on life, and wonder what everyone else is doing your whole life. Married at 19, 3 kids by 25, and that's your life...the only way out of that structure by that point is to totally ruin a bunch of other people's lives for your own selfish needs, and who would want to do that? You know what? It's 2004, the Future! Post-post-post Modern times...nothing wrong with not settling down by drinking-age. Fall in love, get crushed, heal, learn, grow. And if you're lucky (or simply still alive and engaging life) you'll eventually find a situation that feels right to both of you, and you can have a parner for life, raise a familiy, buy an SUV, and jeez who knows what else...and just think of the confidence you'll have in that future relationship if you're both mature enough to know a little bit about the consequences of sharing love... sorry for rambling a bit, take it with a grain of salt you could call me jaded, but I'd just say "hell, I'm 32", what do you expect? Oh, and this guy of yours was foolish with your heart, and now feels guilty, and that's why he is being so nice. He probably does still care about you. Don't be confused. Listen to exactly the words he says, and move on sister. You have a lot more to live and a lot more to give. d>

don't know how I missed the topic right below mine, but it has a lot of thoughts on the matter...so I guess this thread's redundant, unless someones got something to say of course... d>

I've been reading this group today, and seen alot of reference to "No Contact", as in don't have contact after a break-up. I agree both should restrain their habits of confiding in the other after a break-up...that kind of the definition of a break-up... but consider, after crushing someone and having been in a long-distance relationship for 4 years, shouldn't I be able to call and "see how she's doing?" I guess not. I know how she's doing: crappy, brokenhearted, empty, afraid. At least her family is near her, and she has a few friends. I ended the relationship even tho I still have love for her...it was a painful rational decision that I made involving emotions. I want to be there a little for her, but the "NO CONTACT" theory tells me otherwise. Anyone have any thoughts on this "no contact" thing? d>

Let's see...6.5 year relationship, the last 3.5 years of it long-distance...she moves away and we keep it going under the agreement that I will join her as soon as I can...3.5 years later, I still have not been able to move away from my career and life(we're talking about moving from New York City to coastal Maine)...let's just say I could imagine moving at one point for a number of reasons, but now I see I can't do it...I have tried to end it several times, but we always seem to end up as if nothing happened. She won't listen to me, and I don't want to accept that it's over either, I guess... so I have begun proving to myself that it has to be over...I have cheated...i'm loathe to admit it... I've been on the recieving end and it sucks, but I have ruined the relationship, the trust, the intimacy, BUT I have not told her about the cheating...recently I began the breakup once again, starting in person, reinforcing over the phone (another horrible thing), again over the phone, and again. I told her not to call me, that I would call her. It's been almost a month and she is starting to call. I can't pick up the phone, cause I don't want to talk any more...but I know I have to: we have some separating of things to do...I've told her over and over again that it's not working for me, that I can't move away, that I'm unable to do the long-distance thing anymore, that the sex is too infrequent... everything but revealing my infidelity... I know how horrible it is knowing your partner is sleeping with someone else, and I want to spare her that, but it might be the only thing that gets the point accross that it's over... I guess I answered my own question, but I feel at times like I would like to stay together, but it's just impossible... I am much better at getting dumped than doing the dumping...I found this site searching "break-up advice." How can I end the hurt and start healing ME? I have felt really bad for a long time...guilty and empty and lonely...How do you break-up with someone you love, when she doesn't want to? I'm in purgatory....I want to her to take the hint and agree with me but she's making me do all the work! Aaaaaaah! I guess I know what I have to do...I'm just worried the next time I talk to her, I'm going to either be wishy-washy and give her a thread of hope, or spill it about the cheating, and I don't want to do either: I want to end it and somehow not hurt her....I'm a moron, I know, it's not possible, I've F**ed up over and over again, should have ended it many times before, but I wanted it to work so badly, and I'm so tired of investing emotions and ending up in pain... So any advice? HA! Please don't be too mean to me, I already feel horrible enough. TIA d>