sparker

Dude, I have been with other people besides my wife. Do you plan on getting married? If you do, my advise is wait. You are not too young for sex, but sex is something very very special between two people. If you have sex it WILL affect your relationships in the future. Now you may be saying I am going to marry this woman, but truth is you can't be sure of that till you do. My advice is don't have sex just to have sex. Have sex with the woman you love and marry. Just my advise, take it or leave it, but I can tell you from experience the problems it will cause for the person you finally marry are not worth the experience now. Trust me. I have been where you are. Also, I have two friends who had sex at a young age. They both got there gf pregnant and the used protection, condoms. The both work minimum wage jobs, one is married, one is not. One pays child support and will for 16 more years. The other is very unhappy with his life becasue his child has taken his youth away from him. When all his buddies are going out having a good time, he is working to put food on the table. He loved fast cars, but he drives a Tercel because he can't afford anything else. I also have another friend. He was smart, he waited till he was much older and has had sex with only the woman he is married too. He has a good job, makes good money and drives a really nice car. He has a great wife who respects him in this area because he felt that sex was special enough that he kept it for just her. He has a great life. He deserves it, he did it the right way. Best of luck man.

JackTheBean, Here is that book I told you I would get. "The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly LaHaye. It may not be perfectly suited to you, but my wife and I have read it. I would totaly agree with the person who said your wife may have psychological issues. Possible abuse. I would ask your wife to go to marriage counseling. That is a start. If there are things to be uncovered, they will start to show there. Then if you guys need further help you can do that. Good luck man. Again Great Job on waiting. It will be worth it for you in time. I guarantee it!!!!!

JacktheBean, There is a book you two should get. I can't remember the name of it, but I will look tonight and tell you tomorrow. Are you both religious people by any chance. My wife and I have had similar issues, although we have sex, she doesn't want much to do with me and that is very very hard. I feel for you and it is hard for me, I can only imagine what it is like for you. I would strongly suggest marriage counseling!!! Very strongly!!! If you are religious, go to your church, they will have counseling and I can GUARANTEE this is not the first case of this. Your wife can go to the doctor and have a very simple procedure done to break the thin layer of skin that causes pain most of the time for virgins. I would like to commend both of you for keeping your virginity. That is awesome!!! My wife and I did not and let me tell you the issues that can cause in a relationship make not having sex minor! Believe me you will be glad in time that you both waited for each other and once you get past this it will be perfect!!! I will get you the name of that book I hope it helps. If you have a pastor, go see him, or an assistant pastor. Sexual difficulties in a marriage are all to common, they can help you. If you don't have a pastor, go see a counselor. If you don't have a couselor you feel comfortable going to or don't know of one, go to a church. FourSqare or Missionary Alliance I would recomend. Just call them and tell them you need to seek marriage counseling. It will cost you nothing and I guarantee to you it will save your marriage. If you don't, you will not last. I will guarantee it!!! Best of luck to you. I will get you the book name. Steve

My wife and I got married November 24th 2003. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me!!! I love her with all my heart and I never though my wife would be so cool!! She has a four year old from a previous marriage and he and I have taken to each other quite will. His dad is not in the picture so I am pretty much it and that is fine with me. He was 2.5 when we started dating. My wife used to reciprocate so well. I never had to wonder if she appreciated me or valued me. After getting married we got pregnant in January and it has put a toll on our relationship. Her son, Jared, is a needy little 4 year old. He wants a chunk of our time all the time and there is no room for her and I. What's worse is she doesn't care. Making time for him is far far more important to her than making time for us. I am starting to really resent Jared because she bends over backwards to make sure all his needs are met, but I don't feel she gives mine the time of day. We have talked about it and I have told her how I feel, but she thinks she is failing and gets down on herself way to much. Now I don't even want to share my feelings with her. We are drifting apart every day. Since she has been pregnant her sex drive has been little to none and for months it bothered me, we talked about it. I told her I needed her. Now in the last month or so, I don't even care anymore. I don't even want her and that makes me feel that the romance we had is gone and I don't even know if we can get it back. I don't feel she cares to and I don't even know if it's worth fighting to. I love her and I care about her, but I feel like we are going from being married to just being good friends and she is seems to be ok with that and I don't care much right now. If anybody has some words of encouragement, they would be appreciated. I needed to vent somewhere and this seems a good place. Steve