marusha

Hie, superdave, does it apply to women too? I did all stupidest things like calling, trying to be nice, considered nice E-mail or even a sincere letter, got drunk, angry, listen to my stupid first instincts... And now we are divorced and the guy actively envolved with another woman and I still piss and mourn and struggle with the demons to call and hear his voice and talk to him... God, it's hard, he is happyly dating and I am a mess. Any suggestions??? Marushka

Thanks for your reply. It's means a lot to me. Yes, it's sad, your ex left you for another women and your baby was part of it. But bless yourself y ou don't do this "courts new favorite nightmare" - shared physical and legal thing... At least your child knows one home, has sense of home, hopefully you have family around and your ex even if he goes to court, he can have every other weekend or smth like that. I just feel sad that 4 times married * * * * * who is old enough to be my son's grandmother is around my son and the guys thinks not with their heads.... I am disgusted, yesterday I saw them including my son walking holding hands on Main street, I just had to walk by like I am no one and my son screaming "mommy". Do you want that???? Please get away from your ex as far as possible, never regret of anything, just never ever go for anything shared physically, justpossible visitations... Love Marusha

Honey, I feel so much for you. I am in a similar situation. I am from different country, my husband divorced me and we have a beautiful son together. Contrary to you, I blame myself for the marriage failure, I was a horrible wife, not suportive, patient etc. But he did also put me through hell just when the baby was born - I am not worth anything, worthless, not what he was bargaining for etc. After years of fighting in court, I feel now that every fiber of my body is destroyed butnI still love him. We share custody, I am away most of the time form my little boy ( 4 years old), he manipultes me, but I feel this unhealthy attachment to him, this eternal love, feeling of SADNESS AND that God married us but the court clerck divorced... I can't get over him, his inteligence, wits, brights, looks and I was given second chance but blew it off. ( long story). I think of myself as a horrible useless person, * * * *ty mother ( I cannot concentrate on my son when he is with me etc). But then another things happens - he is madly in love with another woman and totally all over me, acts like 20 years old, tonns of sex ( both do not work), exposing our son to all this different environment etc. I didn't even know my son's whereabouts when he is in his new girl froend's house. She is a tramp, 4 times married before but I try at least to keep my son out of this though I was so hust that I told my son she is " an old * * * * *". This all is terrible and I feel I am a * * * * of a mother... Abortions are hard but you never ever want to be part of what it seems normal to this culture - to take child away from you ( we were inseparable before ) and do this horrible thing - having to be envolved with new girlfriends, them playing mommy to my child, harming the child psychologically etc. God, I know what you are going through, Buba, I have the same urge to call and call his new girl friend an old tramp and a * * * * * but I just gight with my demons,,, I 'm like you not over this thing, this love. marriage, flowers, beautiful romance, but you did nothing wrong and I ruined it myself, tat's what I think. I love you, Buba, there will be end to this torture, there will be end to self torment, please have faith and courage. Pain makes us stronger, every break up is hard, there is no valuew in this society but you ARE NOT ALONE, HONEY, there are thousands like you trying to heal, suffering every minute, blaming themselves,been angry, jealous etc. Please honey, move on as hard as it seems. I would recommend going to Medoterranian. Please honey, things so far didn't get better for me ( I canpt omagne myself to slepp with anyont but my ex) It's crazy but we just have to cope. Love tonns maria ( I am from Russia)

I am a disturbed soul and a mother of a 4 year old. DO not have family in US, brought here as a fiancee and later on divorced. Never stopped loving my ex, possessed by wide range of feeling - anger, jealousy, hurt and pain. There was so much said and done that we are beyond civil. I was coping, there were lawyers and courts envolved, I pretty much missed my chance and eneded up with what what courts push now 'shared physical and legal custody". A child is shoved back and forth. But what I dreaded most of all finally came - an old 4 times married tramp stepped into picture, my ex totally obsessed with her and instead of providing 2 steady homes for our son takes him on his sex sprees 2 hours away to her house and then they come back, lock themselves in his house and wait till his parenting time arrives and then go back to her house. I hate my son to be around that woman, this new mom-dad thing, she calls him "honey" and was even trying to give me huge bouquetts of flowers , sort of sign for friendship and to impress him what a lovely person she is. It was such a phony, tacky , fake scene. He wouldn't even disclose the phone where my son can be reached out of state - and he just had a head injury yesterday, barely escaped stiches and I cannot even talk to him. This love-hate feeling is too overwhelming, I am jealous out of my mind but realize that that's the end to it, if she makes him happy, so be it but there is no reason my boy should be a part of it, they are not married, just "in heat". Can anyone talk to me?? Lovw Marusha