keytwist

Hmm . . . This sounds like a trust issue from square one to me. I would want to be able to rely on my boyfriend to "have my back" for lack of a better term, and introducing me to a group of potentially catty women without full disclosure of their relationships to him is not a way to go about making me feel secure. I've got sympathy, blanchett.

This might be kind of cheesy, but your post immediately made me think of what is now referred to as the serenity prayer- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It sounds like you have a lot of thinking to do. It seems to me that there are some questions you and she should talk about. What would making a lifetime commitment to each other at your age really mean? What are the pros and cons of her going away to school? I don't know, man, but I wish you a lot of luck however it turns out.

i'm so relieved to find that other people are going through what i'm going through. in my case, i'm now married to my boy, but i still find myself obsessed with his past girlfriends. one of them has a blog (that she hasn't posted to in over a year), and i've found some others through google. in particular, one sticks out as the main focus of my lingering insecurity. she was his first love, they were on again off again for a number of years, and tried to be friends well into our relationship. i felt she treated him (and me) poorly, and asked him to confront her. he fumbled it a couple times, but finally managed to talk to her. he's had a couple brief, civil, email exchanges with her and she's texted him on his birthday since. i've gotten to the point where i've realized that he probably never thinks about her unless i bring her up, so i'm trying not to bring her up. it's kind of working- i'm trying to focus more on my own life and my assets and our relationship, and i think i'm finding that i get less excitement out of finding out stuff about her. eventually, maybe i'll get to the point where talking about her is a natural part of talking about his past. at any rate, i was starting to feel really insane about the way that i felt and my compulsive tendencies. thank you for showing me i'm not alone and letting me know that other people are working on this too!