ju2ma2
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Posts
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Joined
ju2ma2's Achievements
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i'm really learning something today. i can be the author of my happiness, or of my sadness. thanks for being such a good listener and helper. i really appreciate you, and i hope to hear from you in the future! there's no doubt that i'll be posting things on this site from now on!
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I want to take that chance. I really do. And believe me, I am trying... it's just so hard to do!
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Thank you for telling me what I obviously should know. I have been walked over so many times, and left so many times, that it is so much more comfortable to me to be alone. I don't really want to be alone! I want someone to love me! To really love me! But as soon as I get to the point where I feel comfortable enough to open up, the choke chain comes out and snatches me out. My safety mechanism!
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Well, honey, if it's an addiction, you're surely not the only addict. I, too, am struggling with the same problem. I cannot seem to let go of the past and embrace my future. I've been hurt pretty badly (divorce, then cheated on by a long-time boyfriend). Now I have someone in my life who truly cares about me, and tries his best to show it. But I'm so apprehensive about opening myself up to him that I'm about to ruin it...
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I have been hurt more times than not. I have always been the dutiful girlfriend, helping with "his" kids, or helping with applying for jobs, or just always being supportive. Thing is, I always got crapped on. So now that I have a wonderful guy, I am so emotionally detached, that I feel like I'm pushing him away. In fact, I know I am. I've ene convinced myself that we weren't right for each other, then told him I wasn't really breaking up with him, just needed space. I am a walking, living contradiction! I really, really like this guy! Scared to say I love him, but I know I do. He is silly, but knows how to be serious, and he is the best lover of all. He makes sure to treat me with respect. But Ii am so hung up pn the past that I can't move ahead! WHY ?!!!!!!!!