MapleLeafinTX

I will be moving permanently in Texas in July 2007, I have a lot of things I need to finalize in Canada, and can only afford to come down for vacation. Plus the money would be an issue if I moved earlier. The first father is as absent as possible, and the second father has always made a point of hating the oldest, so just the fact that I help him out with playstation and xbox stuff and care to give him his space has pretty much done the trick for him. Discipline is somewhat a problem with the youngest because his mother doesn't want to discipline him and instead gives in to any tantrum. His father is still present, but drinks and does a lot of drugs (speeds) and I fear he might endanger the child with his impaired driving and shooting. Yes, their favourite pastime is shooting birds on the electric wires in the yard. I have tried doing more "classic" sports such as baseball, catch, frisbee, soccer and hockey, but I feel he has absorbed a lot of negative feelings towards these from his immediate entourage, though he shows some real talent. I try to be as positive and give him tricks... but he gets frustrated easily. Thanks about the p.o.v. about losing his mother, I hadn't thought about it, honestly. I was thinking that my distance would have helped in this sense since he gets her all the time for himself, even though she talks about me. As for the secret, well, I think she fears our union is too liberal and outside the norm for people to accept it. I had never realized we really do come from 2 different countries, in many, many ways. She says that we can tell everyone once I come down, but I fear her people might be more angry because she actually kept it a secret. She banks on the fact that no one knows exactly what I have to do to fully emigrate (trust me, it's a long checklist)

All very nice of you to judge him that way, but I don't think anyone here has any idea what it is to live with schizophrenia, so trying to make him feel bad with the scathing comment about selfishness, not going to help. The Bible, not going to help. dpressedone89, I don't have your affliction, and I lost a girlfriend when I was way younger, because of the exact same circumstances. All I can say is turn yourself in, it sounds really lame and the medical institution isn't the best place to feel safe and loved, but in times of crisis it might be the best thing to do. All I can do is hope you don't walk the same path as Tiffany did, but if you do, then so be it. Master of your own domain.

I think you have your answer but don't want to take that crucial step, the breakup. You can't anticipate your future needs, because you have no way to know what kind of individual you will eventually become, through many diverse experiences, so i think she is feeding you bull on that one, most probably unconsciously. You're so young, you have so much to see about life, it's ok not to settle down right now and start anew. If you have such crucial differences, it might be an indicator that you could fly to other skies. Look, I was with that kind of girl for many years, and she ended up just cheating on me when she ran out of excuses to work on being a couple. Don't wait until you become a victim.

I have recently married a woman from Texas, who has 2 children from 2 previous unions. They are 8 and 14, respectively. The one who is 14 is taking it pretty easy, but the one who is 8 will do anything to have me out, from lying to his mom about the fact that I hurt him, to insisting on sleeping with her every night and conveniently forgetting how to towel himself dry after a bath or how to wipe himself after going to the bathroom. I come from a very intellectual background, most of my friends being engineers, doctors or other liberal professions, and I know there is no way to reason with a kid that age, I just feel at a loss because even when I try to be serious and tell him to stop what might be, in my eyes, an unacceptable behaviour, he just walks off and starts throwing or hitting things, very violently. Couple that to the fact that as long as I am not permanently settled in Texas, I come from Canada, my wife insists that we keep our marriage a secret so she doesn't have to be burdened by the reactions of her friends and family. This is all very new to me, and was thinking I might get some pointers on moral authority(unsupported by the Bible, just common sense) and maybe trying to establish a climate of trust and openness about the whole situation.