DizzyDoris

Trimmed on a guy is fine. However, I would not really care about it unless the forest was so thick that I couldn't see the, um, tree.

LOL!! I agree too, i think shaved on men is soooo not a good look and like someone else said, it hurts when it grows back!

is this the guy that you thought you would be splitting up with soon because he didnt respond to your valentines email??

he obviously DOES care then if its him

im sooo naive...i didnt realise you could trace peoples addresses on the internet.

Thanks for the replies, i do feel okay thanks,a bit sad, but hey ho it just wasn't meant to be.

I feel sad because i really thought we had a future together,we've known each other ten years. He's a great guy but just not the one for me. The guilt i felt on valentines day has turned to relief now. Im glad i was strong and didn't make up with him just because he got me flowers.

I hope he can sort himself out and get over his ex before he dates again.

My neighbour came round at teatime with a really big gift bag for me, the works...it had roses, chocolates and a heart balloon attatched with a really sweet message on the gift card.

I tried to call him to say thankyou, but he never picked up the phone. I cant believe what ive done. I txt him to say thanks for the gifts but it didnt change anything and after saturday, i just dont feel the same anymore. He didnt call me back, but we exchanged several messages. He apologised and said he doesnt even remember what happened! I said whats done is done and wished him the best, and said i think he has issues and isnt over his ex yet. He agreed! We were both civil and ended on a good note (as good as can be)

I know in my heart it was over on saturday, but i feel so bad that we "officially" split up on valentines day....even worse that it was by text messaging....and just dreadful that he spent so much money on me.

Oh bugger, ive still not heard from my boyfriend and ive just got home from work and theres a valentines card (the post mark says it was posted yesterday) and a note from a florist saying a delivery of flowers has been dropped next door as i was out.

Now what do i do? I'd made up my mind it was over, now im confused. My neighbour is out so i havent seen the flowers yet. We still havent spoken about the weekend, does he expect to sweep it under the carpet and forget it? My feelings have changed now after the way he behaved at the weekend, the lovey dovey bubble i was in has popped.

Someone tell me i cant get back with him just because he bought me flowers....please?......

Im going to call him to say thankyou, after my neighbour comes home, but i have no idea what to say and how i feel now.

topmybox im sorry your stuck in this rut with your boyfriend. The father of my children used to behave exactly the same. He could be lovely when sober but come the weekend, he would get wasted with his mates and speak to me appallingly,he would never remember saying those things once he sobered up. I put up with that behaviour for 7 years. It hammered my self esteem and put me off dating for 4 years.

That is why im not going down that road again with my current boyfriend (or should i say ex boyfriend) He has not been in touch since saturday night, i really thought he would have called or turned up at my door to apologise. I've not heard a thing,and its been 3 days now,that says it all really.

If he came back now, i have made my mind up. He's not the man i thought he was and i dont want to be with him anymore.

Bless i think he has a little crush on you!

It might seem rude, but you dont always have to reply to him. Just talk to him when you have time. In fact by always responding, you are probably encouraging him.

Failing that, you could always block him for a while. Or just tell him politely sorry cant chat now, catch you soon!

Thanks guys for all your opinions. I cant sleep properly (second night in a row )

Karvala you have an interesting point of view but i really dont think thats the case since in the 5 months we've been dating, ive not met his mates. He's never introduced me to them. And come to think of it he's not met my friends as on several occasions when he has had chance to do so, he has cancelled at the last minute. My daughters birthday being the most recent. At first he tried to say his ex wife refused to let him bring their son along, which i found unlikely. So i called his bluff and said give me her number? I'll call her! Then after some squirming the truth emerged.....he had arranged to go to the football with the boys!

Not good really, i think im seeing the bigger picture and am best off cutting my losses here and moving on.

Is this just a one off or is he always like this when he's drunk? If it's a one off I think it's forgivable and it was probably the drink talking but if this is a regular drink related problem then yeah I'd walk

There has been one other incident (again on a saturday night after a session with the boys) when i received a nasty text message. I called him back straight away and he didnt answer, i didn't sleep that night due to worrying.

The next day he said his phone was on silent and the message was intended for one of his friends, not me.....hmmmm

So Karvala, you think i ought to initiate contact with him to see what brought these nasty messages on?

I can honestly say i have not done anything to cross him,i have been nothing but loyal and loving to him. At the moment i am angry with him for treating me this way, i feel he has been unduly disrespectful towards me and i feel HE should be the one to get in touch (even if i am cutting off my nose to spite my face!)

My friends all think he has "issues" as his ex wife left him for another man. I am the first woman he has dated since their divorce and he comes accross as being very bitter towards women.

He is still very much at his ex wifes beck and call and if im honest i really dont think he is 100% over her.

Thanks for the replies Raykay and veneratio. Im so stubborn haha and its so unlike us not to have contact. We speak most days or at least exchange texts or emails. He would see the messages he sent me last night as they would be in his outbox on his phone

I cant believe that he has not contacted me to say sorry. Obviously he does not regret the nasty things he said last night. I am not going to go chasing after him, so im presuming that things are over between us.

My boyfriend of 5 months is the the lovliest,sweetest man ever when sober. However when drunk he is a totally different character. Last night, totally unprovoked, i received a string of nasty txt messages off him. I knew he had been out drinking all day with the boys. He has a son and cancelled my daughters bday party so he could go to the football with his mates.

On the evening i received a txt saying, "hope you all had a nice time at the party, love you baby xxx" etc . I replied lightheartedly, "yeah fab thanks, hope you have a gr8night, see you soon xxx." The next message i received said "F you" to which i replied "nice!" i then got one back saying "you have made a (word beginning with C....ending in T....out of me". By now i was bewildered as we have had no cross words, so i reply "we will talk tomorrow when your sober, im not putting up with this crap, you've totally lost me??!"

I then get a message back saying "ok it was fun while it lasted"

I hardly slept last night and figured he would call today to apologise, but no! Ive not heard anything off him, not a bean. Im bewildered as to what would make him behave this way? Im presuming that things are over between us, even though neither of us have officially said that.

My friends say i should call it a day and even if he apologises i should cut my losses and walk. Im just so confused. They say the truth comes out when you've had a drink? Up until last night things were great (or so i thought) i guess if things seem too good to be true, then yeah they are!

I know communication is the key to a good relationship, but i am too stubborn to call him. I feel he was out of order and he should apologise or get in touch first. Do you think he has not been in touch out of embarrasment or that he has ended our relationship on this drunken note?

Grrrr my gut instinct is saying to walk away and that i deserve better but i want to know where i stand and what to do next? He says he loves me all the time.....going off last night though he has a funny way of showing it!

Ooops thanks for clearing that up mr curry monster, humble apologies. I take that last post back then (apart from the gold digging part!)

And your right, love IS blind when we're in the situation ourselves. If someone else had started this topic, what would you advise them to do?

LOL you are soooo british! ;-) Head wibble and tosh! You summed that up to a tee. Her excuses are feeble, and no offence but she sounds like a gold digger. Plus she lives with someone else, yet continues to remain in close contact with you...having cosy dinners 3 times a week etc? Sooo thereforeeee....she is having an emotional affair again...only this time with YOU!

Does the man she lives with now, know how much time you are spending together, what does he think of all this? Sounds like she does what she wants, when she wants. I wish you could see that you deserve so much better! I think DN has summed things up pretty well with his post.

Has she explained to you what drove her to have these affairs? Was it something lacking from your relationship do you think? Or she couldnt control her attraction to these men? The one affair she said she loved him. She was willing to risk her relationship with you, not once, but twice (that you know of)

I think Iceman85 has a good point that she takes you for granted. You seem to love her much more than she loves you and she seems to think you will always be there for her. God, after what she put you through if your going to continue seeing her (which for your sake i really dont recommend!) it should be on YOUR terms NOT hers! Dont be at her beck and call, dont tell her everything your doing, go on the odd date. See how she likes it.

 

he might be too chicken to break up with you. So he does this act so that you will dump him.

 

Sorry but i really agree with this statement. If you had been together so long and were planning a wedding, i imagine you were close to each others family's, friends etc. I dont know why, but people change. He might have used this cowards way out so he didnt seem like the bad guy to everyone.

Im sorry your going through this as it leaves you with no closure. I wouldnt contact him again, let him realise what he's lost and if he says he will call, take it with a pinch of salt. He's probably telling you that he will call to get himself out of an awkward situation.

Hi, welcome to enotalone! Im sorry you've had to go through all this. What a horrible way to be treated. So from what i gather you split up 2 years ago? I know you dont want to hear about no contact, but because you wont do this you are unable to move on and get over her. I understand you work together so this is a tricky one.

I know you wanted positive replies but im sorry, i cant think of anything positive in this situation. She has let you down big style and i think she would again if you were to get back together.

I dont know what to say to you, just be very wary of getting back together as leopards rarely change their spots.

I had a boyfriend a couple of years back, who used to say things like this. We dated for about 2 months. One day he was meant to be coming round mine and didnt show up. I called him...no answer....so i text him...no answer. I never saw or heard from him ever again! And no he's not dead haha cos my mate still sees him round town!

I'm not saying that this is going to happen to you, but i would trust your instincts, they never fail.

You dont say if your male or female?

I would just recommend experimenting, everyone is different so just do what feels nice for YOU. If you find something that feels nice, keep on going with the same rythym and you'll be in for a very pleasant surprise haha!

Aaaah congratulations, well done you! I agree with everyone else Benjamins a lovely name.

My first child was born on Feb 7th, when they're older they'll get lots of birthday presents, then a week later its valentines day

Sorry to hear about the father and meddling mother in law. Obviously they want to see your baby, but there are better ways to go about it and you dont need stress right now.

Think very carefully about giving your son his surname. Both of my children have my surname as their father made it very clear we would never be married. I didnt want to go through life with different names from my children.

All the best and enjoy these precious, early days with your new son

What the heck is poking?!! Over here in the uk it means something ENTIRELY different to what i think you mean lol

Well me personally, ive had bad on/off relationships in the past so now i tend to go forwards and not backwards, but thats just me!

I suppose if you give it another try and it doesnt work out, you wont be left wondering "what if?" and you never know it might work out this time. Its up to you at the end of the day, if you want to take her out, go for it!

Hi, ive been lucky enough to never suffer from frostbite, so dont know much about it! When i was a kid and used to come in from the cold, i used to put my hands on the radiator to warm up. My mum used to tell me off and say "Dont do that you'll get chillblains"

Dont ask me what they are either haha cos i dont know! Sorry im not much help here am i?! lol

Hope you feet feel better soon, until then its a good excuse to put em up!

"Dropping the kids off at the pool" is another way of saying that maybe she was taking a dump or something when you called.

LMAO!!! Ive never heard that before, but i am soooo using that from now on hahahahaha!!!

As for the original poster i have to agree with desert_rose26.

I think that If she was really interested, she would see that she had a missed call and she would have rang you back. Well thats what i would have done anyway.