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sandyv

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Everything posted by sandyv

  1. sandyv
    Mikey888, I had tears in my eyes after reading your post, you sound like a male version of myself, I slept off and on last night in the fetal position, just felt like *** basically thinking of him and how I could mean so little, when I'm dying inside. I can't eat either.....
  2. sandyv
    ^^^ Thats right HFSF, Its gonna take alot of time for me personally, I wasn't alone last night either, but might as well have been..... Wound up not being very nice to my company either.... oh well this too shall pass.... Maybe next weekend I'll stop sniffling...... arrrgggg.....
  3. sandyv
    ^^^ HFSF, Yep had a few myself, made me even more sad than normal, feeling stupid today, yep SD would have duct taped me down for sure!!! lol
  4. sandyv
    ^^ I know HFSF, I'd be lost if not for this place.... I'm in the same boat as you!!
  5. sandyv
    ^^ Its ok HFSF.... I'm sure a few of us (like me) were in the same state last night!
  6. sandyv
    *Sandy tosses Twinkies directly at BrokenBears's head, and runs to get the duct tape* STOP!!!!!!
  7. sandyv
    Well Dunzo, the stuff he's doing accross the road is home renovations for an old lady with a big house...... she has lots of work to be done there, so probably this is a long term situation unfortunately. When I saw him Thursday he was coming over here to visit my neighbours upstairs, .... which is funny... they are my friends not his, I don't know what he thinks he's doing, its strange. Its almost like he's trying to provoke me somehow, I don't get it. Yep in some ways I'm a little better I suppose after 2 weeks, but still feeling horrible, and its true you feel worse the morning after drinking thats a for sure there! Heart still feels like its been sat on by a 2 ton elephant or something. Well its gotta get better for both of us Dunzo.. I hope you never have to run into the x with that girl either, jealousy is a killer for me too.... it sucks.
  8. sandyv
    Thanks Andy, I'm trying really hard to stick to my guns, can't go on be treated like a friggin yo yo, its gotta be over for evermore. Yep its hard avoiding him, with him working accross the road. I always make sure the coast is clear before setting foot out the door lately. Almost running dead into him Thursday night had a very bad effect on me. I'm also afraid of him just showing up at my door like he's done numerous times already, I'm not sure how I'd handle it right now. Hopefully he'll just stay away this time. I don't wanna get sucked in again. image removed
  9. sandyv
    Hi Dunzo, Wow sounds you had a night like mine.... lots of beer and cigs, no food... can't seem to eat much at all lately. Feel like someone drove a 9 inch spike through the center of my heart basically. It truly sucks doesn't it? Yep on the good old NC for the 2nd week now..... things can only improve, I couldn't feel this low too much longer I hope. Yes 1guygirl, you are truly an inspiration for us here. I'm gonna try to not dwell too much on this misery and I guess time will take care of the rest.... Dunzo I've got to say you sound so much better than you were last week, good for you. Moving on is the best thing we can do at this point in time I suppose. I'm trying to avoid walking into him, it happened on Thursday when I was getting off the bus, and it totally ruined my night. Fell into the beer vat.... lol.... and I know this isn't a solution, but sometimes I just want to numb my brain... but I just feel worse the next day, so what is the point right? Well if dating feels ok to you, do it! Me I can't even think of getting involved even casually right now, I'm a mess.
  10. sandyv
    Thanks 1guygirl.... I appreciate your thoughts on this stuff. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who wants to hibernate. I feel that I can't even look anybody in the eye right now, its a crappy feeling. Like I'm trapped inside my self almost... I don't know why he even came back after being apart from him for almost 7 months, just seems he wanted to stick it to me emotionally one more time for old times sake? He's the one who pursued things, not I. I know your right I shouldn't wonder but these thoughts just keep stabbing me in the heart no matter if I'm at work or here at home, my head won't shut off the stupid thoughts. I guess this is gonna take some time, but I suppose it can only get better....
  11. sandyv
    Hey Dunzo and 1GuyGirl, Sandy here, how are you guys doing? I'm on my second week of NC yet AGAIN.... and am suffering big time...... I don't understand how someone who apparently "loves you" can just disregard you and leave you alone like you never existed at all........ Doesn't make alot of sense to me. There was no official break up so I never did get dumped... I walked out of his door after he starting lecturing me about my attitude 2 weekends ago..... I thought he would prolly apologize but has just disappeared instead. I'm trying to keep busy yet find myself stuck in an emotional place that hurts like hell, and I can't seem to lose the pain. Its sucks.... Every time I walk out my door I'm afraid I'll walk into him. (He's working directly accross the road renovating a house). I actually got off the bus on Thursday coming home from work and he was about 30 feet ahead of me. I know he saw me too. He pretended he didn't. I had to walk behind him..... I wasn't tempted to call his name, and I could tell he was kinda thinking I would. But I didn't.... I went into my apartment and ignored him totally. I was literally shaking and my heart pounding like nuts when I opened my door, I just opened a beer, sat down and cried my face off..... this sucks so much. The worst part is this horrible lonliness..... I don't want to go anywhere or see anybody really either. Its going to be a very long weekend I'm guessing.
  12. sandyv
    Welcome Paolo.... Glad your joining the happy/unhappy bunch......
  13. sandyv
    He is a scuzz bag, and you deserve so much better..... Its awful..... I hate hearing stuff like this... nice people always get squashed by idiots......
  14. sandyv
    Hey hun, thanks I feel the pain, but damm I'm angry too, I would like to de-ball the idiot, how can people be so god darn heartless, I'll never understand.... is he your babies dad? Oh If only I had a gun...... k/d
  15. sandyv
    Thanks Andy, feeling like I'm dying pretty much emotionally right now, but I know that will pass, no more games for me, I've had it with this stupid jerk. Thing is, I NEVER bothered him, he came back after 7 months.... and messed me over YET AGAIN, I'm feeling angry, guess thats a good beginning.... :sad:
  16. sandyv
    Hi there Andy, I'm Sandy, and I'm back on the wagon yet again.... stupid ex has left his mark on me... but he won't get the opportunity to do it again.....:sad:
  17. sandyv
    I hear ya Enn, I did the same stupid thing..... could kick myself in the butt.... If I could only do that, I would....
  18. sandyv
    It was 7 months for me.... until recently... he came back.... I just said it on another thread and I will say it again..... be careful what you wish for.... you just might get it.... yep and some *** you didn't want or need as well.... thats whats happened here.... I should NEVER have given him a chance to break me again, yet I did.....
  19. sandyv
    Good for you Knight, seems like now I may have to begin the NC challenge YET AGAIN, I have failed miserably, but it hasn't helped that my ex has been pursuing me and creating alot of havoc, .... he doesn't know what he wants, except I should be available to him at all times... well enough is enough ... can't take anymore, so here I am on day 6..... never too late to try again right?
  20. sandyv
    Well I dunno, day whatever, feel like hell, hungover like a dog, but still have managed to keep him away, (door shut) I'm still hanging in guys, wish you all to be ok as well... hey not that I am, I'm not.....
  21. sandyv
    JS: No your right about that...... he is an #1 A hole...... can't let him destroy me, and that seems to be what he's attempting to do......
  22. sandyv
  23. sandyv
  24. sandyv
    Hey Screen really happy to hear that, I'm working threw this stuff for the 2nd time......](*,)
  25. sandyv
    Thanks Shoes, your the best Me, I dunno how many days its been, things have been in a blur..... SD - I'm really doing the best I can with NC, cause there's nowhere else to turn at this point.....
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