Dez

Thank you guys for all yourt input. We have been apart for about 8 months now. I have had ALOT of time to think through how I feel and if I really want him back. WHat I want is for us to start dating and see if I really do miss HIM and want to be with him, or if its just because I am lonely. I love him and I do want another shot. I feel like I have grown and learned alot. I am going to sit back a while more and let him come to me, I don't want to do anything to soon and push him away, that damn rubberband effect... I will keep you guys informed... I am thinking about texting him today and saying "Hey I got your text, congrats on your big promotion at work, maybe we will do lunch sometime to celebrate" sound good?

Well I have posted my story about my ex and I in another post, and I also explained that over the last month he has began to text me after months of NC. He wanted to know how I am doing, asked about my new place I live at and told me about his promotion at work. We also made a statement about us being to close to ever "hate each other". I just got a text from him yesterday using a nick name he would always sign emails to with me and he was giving me his new cell phon number. I choose not to respond to that text. I know that just because he is texting me again, it does not mean he wants to get back with me, but if he is starting to doubt his decision, I want more that text messages. Any advice from anyone?? I was thinking on maybe asking him to do lunch in a couple weeks since we work right down the street from each other, but maybe thats not a good idea... I am kinda confused on what is going on with him!

When my ex broke up with me, I was in similiar shoes as you. He didn't think things felt right and he said he felt he needed to be his own man. I tried to plead with him over the course of two weeks for us to give it another shot. He would still call me and text me saying he loved me and missed me, but he would not get back in a relationship with me, I told him that I was going to not talk to him for a couple of weeks to give him time and he said ok, but please dont do it out of spite. Anyways I lasted about a week and then I broke down and tried to contact him, he ended up completely ignoring and would not answer any calls or anything. I was soo distraught. After about a month he started coming around saying that maybe we could talk, and that he realized what a great girl I am. Then I got impatient and started emailing him(telling him all my feelings and stuff) I basically pushed him away again. He didnt talk to me for about two months and now all of a sudden he is reaching out a little bit again... WHat I learned from my situation and my mistakes is that you have to give them time and let THEM come to you. They made the decision to end it and only they can be the ones to change there minds. It is NOT EASY! I still struggle! But I know inside if he really loves me, he will realize that I am the love of his life and he will come to me and make it very clear that he made a mistake. Until then I have to stay busy and be patient and try to heal. I just don't want you to push your guy away, give him time and space to thing things through and really miss you and realize what you have to offer. Keep posting, stay busy, hang out with friends, read good books, do anything to keep yourself from pushing him away! Best of luck!

Thanks for your input. I don't want to get my hopes up and think that he wants to be with me again. I am glad that he is thinking of me and he still cares. I know you are right, if he thinks he threw away the love of his life, he will definatly tell me and it will be apparent that he wants to come back. Right now I think maybe he is on the picket line, like he misses me, knows we had a pretty great thing, but is not too sure about whether we should be together. I think this uncertianity is why he is contacting me again, but not really saying anything that would push anything either way. It sucks for me because I would like another chance with him to put into action the things I learned about where I went wrong. I love him very much, and I feel that he still loves me. I hope that it will be enough for him to come back, i guess if its meant to be it will. If its not, I wish I could find some way to get over him and move on...

Hello, I am new here so I will give as brief of a summary of my situation as I possibly can and hopefully there will be someone who reads this who knows what I am going through or can offer some good insight. My ex (who I was engaged to) broke up with me in feb. It has been a VERY long hard road of lots of pain, sorrow and loneliness, but also a period of time that I learned many lessons and grown so much. Part of the reason for the break-up was that my whole life began to revolve around him and any action he made would affect my every mood. I realize now that I can't be completely dependant on another person to make me happy. He had his own faults too, he is immatture and said he felt like he could not be is own man while he was in a relationship with me. Basically, things become rough and he bailed. It really did not go over well with me, after about 2-3 months of me calling, emailing and texting him about how I was sorry about everything and how much I loved him, things finally hit the fan he he completely cut me off and I backed all the way off. I did not contact him for almost 3 months. then one night I decided to send him a text which he was enthuaistic about and asked me to get online and we ended up laughing and talking for about 45 minutes until I told him that I had to go to sleep. A week after this conversation, he blocked me again on the computer so I can't message him. It crushed me so bad and I realized that he wasnt coming back and that he was probably drunk or something when we talked. A month and a half after that, I was hanging out with some friends and later in the night I got my phone and looked at it and there was a text message from him..."Are you still up dolly?" I couldnt believe it, I said "yeah, whats up?" and he said he just wanted to see how I was doing... a couple more texts were sent and I told him that I needed to go to bed, because I had to wake up early. So 2 weeks after that, which was last week, I texted him some song lyrics and he texted some back, and I was joking with him about how Karma was coming back to me because I would always get mad at him for smoking cigarettes when he drinks and now I am just as bad. He texted me back saying " I want you to know that I dont hold nothing against you, we were too close to hate on each other, have fun and be careful" I texted him saying "Agreed. I would never hate you, I just know I can be a tough one, I hope you are happy and all is well" SO that is where I am now. I am confused, It was nice to have him initiate contact 2 weeks ago, but I don't know if he was just doing that to see if I am still out there, incase he one day changes his mind, or if he is really thinking about me again. His text about us being "too close to hate on each other" kinda threw me too, because towards the end there it was not so great between us,a lot of hurt emotions were involved. I just hope that my text messages to him this last weekend weren't to needy or anything. I am not going to contact him again, but I am really wondering what is going on with him!!!!