zoda12321

Well I am not over her, but she knows how I feel and its all cool.

Well I am 17 and about a year ago my sisters friend moved in with her boyfriend and her newborn child. The boyfriend has been a total jerk the whole time, not doing his share for the child and always verbally abusing his spouse. They have been on and off, but they finally decided to break it off.. I stayed clear of them for awhile, but one day I heard her mention she is gay and I got totally confused... So I started to talk to her... She explained it that she does not enjoy sex with men and she just wants a woman in her life right now.. Although she has been with a fair amount of men.. She is 22 and her (now ex) boyfriend is 19. She knows that I feel this way and says she is flattered, but she says she is a lesbian and there are too many problems, which makes sense... I just cannot get over here.. I am so attracted to her, she isnt like other girls. We started to talk about a month ago and I think we have become extremely close even in this short amount of time.. It seems I understand her every thought and she does mine.. We have only dissagreed on a few minor things. One of which is kissing.. I think kissing should be with someone you really love and who is your spouse.. or at least I did.., but she thinks it's just a playfull thing to do with people you care for. We have become close and I have told her that I have a crush on her because I understand her, I admire her as a person and mother, and she is beautiful inside and out. Of course I know this is all stupid because she has had a lot of experience with drugs, sex, and even just paying the rent when I am still living in my parents house, a virign, and against casual drug use. She too is against it, but she has done it. Theres too many issues that would prevent us from working.. Age (although we are about the same in maturity), money, what others think, her child, and everything. She even lives with her ex-boyfriend (broke up about 4 months ago) they are constantally hugging, kissing, and just playing with each other.. THis makes me jealous Even though she insists it is a playfull thing and that he needs the love. I think she really does do it just too cheer him up and herself. She has gotten into a huge fight with him this time, He never does anything and thats what they fought about. After the fight she was telling me how she is ashamed of herself for giving him any sort of pleasure( just kissing and hugging) when he is really such a jerk to her.. Which is what I tried to tell her, but she keeps giving him more chances. Well anyway I put this here just so you can understand that her relationship with the ex-boyfriend is very messed up and she is not really straight.. Or she doesnt think she is right now. I cheered her up after the fight.. I hugged her, she cried, we laughed.. It was some good friend bonding. I have never kissed a girl or had sex and I am waiting for the right person to do these thigns with.. I think for the kissing part she seems like a great canidate seeing as she thinks of them as playfull and I really do care for her, but this would only lead me on and cause trouble.. I have tried to get and no other people before, but no one compares to her. I would be honored to have her as my first kiss.. If only it were that simple. So my heart wants to be with her, but my mind knows I can't be for many reasons. Im afraid that eventually this will eat away at me and make me either become too attached to her in the wrong way or that I will become so obsessed that I try and do somehting with her.. If I keep thinking like this I could destroy our friendship. How am I sposed to deal with this??? I like her too much and I can't just ignore her.. She lives in my house. Some of this story may sound strange, but I assure you it is true.. and I am 99% sure she is being honest with me.. We have built this whole thing on honesty from day one. I have told her pretty much everything. I doubt she would go out with me even if she were straight, which she may very well be, but nonetheless she thinks she is gay and there are a lot of things in the way... I dont know what to do... Every day I like her more and more.. I understand her more, I appreciate how she acts more, and I even seem to be becoming more physchally attracted.. I need to get over her.

Im in a similiar situation, but have not kissed.. I like her a lot and I cant resist her, but she likes me only as a friend.. It's tearing me apart.. I want her so bad

I am very happy with who I am as a person, except I am not confident with other people.. I find a few girls who I really really understand and they don't want to be involved for some reason.. Ussaully because they live far away.

Actually I would advice more to go somewhere you enjoy.. Say you like to read.. Go to a book store and see if you can find someone with an intrestign lookign book or book you have read... Then you have something to talk about and relate about. I would defintailly say get to know a girl pretty well before you ask her to actually be your girl. If you dive in you will be way over your head and you may not even enjoy it. So if you have friends who are girls already and are intrested get to know them a bit more