shikashika

actually I have seen a number of girls post on here with concerns that their boyfriend is gay... maybe she was one of them!

do a search.. maybe that will give you an idea into how your gf is thinking!

I was weaned on tea with milk.... the most comforting thing in the world is a nice cuppa tea with milk

I am an insecure person, i'll be the first to admit that. thats why i'm having issues with this in the first place.

 

And why should he have to look at other "hotties" when he has one already in front of his face. Whats so wrong with me only wanting him to look at ME naked, as unrealistic as it may be, isn't that how commited relationships should be? i think so.

sorry I re-read my post and didn't mean to sound so rude!

i guess I think its natural to find people attractive... Can't you think of many guys you find attractive... but you don't want a relationship with?

I don't know what your tastes are.. brad Pitt.. whoever.. may be nice to look at him on screen adn\\nd say'' ooohhhh lovely''' but then I turn to the guy sitting next to me and think... ah THIS makes me happy

Personally I would be smitten if my boyfriend had naked photos of me on his computer!! I think thats lovely!

Surely you can find more than one person attractive? but not be attracted to them.. When you've been out with your boyfriend, haven't you conversations about 'ooh look at him... look at her... he she is pretty nice looking?"

Men (and women) have been looking at porn/naked people for years.. Some people will say its not for them.. but LOTS do like it.

I did not give my virginity away as some sort of gift..

Sometimes sex can just be for fun..

The greatest gifts I can give my guy is my loyalty to him, my sense of humour, kindness, honestly etc etc...

i can't imagine not having sex with someone I'm in a relationship with... otherwise they're just my friends.

i find it peculiar that many virgins abstain from sex because they believe that a relationship shouldn't be based purely on sex.... but by waiting until marriage, they are doing just that... making sex the all-important greatest gift.... placing it with more value than anything else I've heard (only heard because I don't know of any virgins in real life!) I thought the whole point of not having sex was to show that other things were more important... but by waiting .. one is making it the most important thing in the relationship.

I wouldn't want to meet age my age who had no sexual experience... I wouldn't want a guy who thought so highly of himself that his sex/viriginity was soooo important, so much more important than anything else he had to offer.

and, if this gift was so important (the gift of bonking) wouldn't one want to have some practice so they knew how to d o it?

It doesn't say much about your goals/personality/interests/character/life outlook if your greatest gift is bonking!

Having sex is not jsut about giving one's soul or heart or personality... for a relationship to work, you have to have more than just sex... but you do need the sex!

It seems like many older virgins are very sad regarding their love lifes... overly picky when choosing partners and then wonder why they can't find anyone... IMO its because they are putting such an importance on sex... when they should be putting importance as other things

Thanks everyone for your views on the matter. Especially to the men that do watch it that were able to explain their reasoning behind it, that kinda helped me feel like, okay, maybe its not that i'm not enough for him.

 

Heres the thing though, he has a naked picture of me on his desktop, like as his wallpaper. So its almost like yeah, your not enough for me, so let me go look at some other naked women, you know? And i'm not fat or ugly or anything. So whats up with that?

if he has a naked picture of you... why do you worry??

you sound a little insecure... It almost seems like you want to control him and say 'ME!!! ONLY ME!!! MUST ONLY LOOK AT ME!!!!!"

obviously he likes you but likes to have a look at other naked hotties as well!

why don't you pick some porn together and watch it .. the two of you?

well it sounds like you both like each other... there's nothing wrong with being busy for a month

in a way though, you made it sound like you only wanted to break up with him for a month or so.. if you do this, don't just put him on the back burner and then bring him back into your life when you are not busy again. Relationships have ups and downs and if you aren't bothered to put effort in when you are busy or tired or up or down, then maybe you shouldn't be in it?

The way you are doubting this though, make me think that you do not want to break up with him

would you miss him .. or would you be on the lookout for someone else if you broke up?

Unfortunately, yes--take a look here:

 

link removed

well I agree... somewhat.. if they are so unhealthy they can't look after themselves, how on earth can they look after a child???

and what kind of example will they be setting for them by letting the little ones drink koolaide and mucn on maccies?

obesity is a serious disease, which is comletely curable

to your question no i would not... i love kids and hope to have them one day... but I wouldn't have one outside of marriage.. i'm pretty open about a lot of stuff but not that... kids outside of marriage is not for me

pay off your debt!!!

financing is just a nicer word for debt! I would say , if you can, suck it up and stay with your grandmother and uncle even longer and get that car paid off too... then you will have more money for your apartment

you are only 20...if you get into the bad habit of financing and refinancing now.. you will become accustomed to that kind of living, which get sooo many people into trouble further down the line.

save up and get out of debt first... no more financing!

don't just walk right up to her and ask ehr out... ask if she needs a spot in the weight roon, ask her 'what are you doing today?... legs? shoulders?

since you see each other in the gym, you have some common interests.

Talk about those things first... she may be a bit apprehensive if you just walk up to her and ask her to the dance.

Its only a couple of weeks away...and if you do get talking to her before then, then maybe ask her if she's going. who's she's goign with to get an idea if she's going with friends, a group of girls... a guy friend.. or maybe a boyfriend that you dont' know about!

good luck!

Wow... my personal opinon would be to leave because it sounds like there is too much baggage already...(only me mind you!)

Her baby is only 3 months old... and you have known here since the baby is 2 months old... i would think that she would have more important things to look after (her baby!!!!) than dating someone... especially when things aren't clear with the father and he was underage.... again what does that say about her?!?

this is only my opinion, but to me, thats not giving the baby the full attention it needs.. and that to me, says a lot about an individual like that. newborns take a lot of time and care and I would HOPE that almost 100% of her time would be devoted to her baby

you say" she is old enough ... i guesss"

you dont' sound too sure... if you aren't sure, then i would say don't be in the relationship. From what you've said, ti sounds like her age concerns you

Shika - thanks for your input and sorry if I sound hostile. I never so much as went to a strip club during that relationship (6+ years), she demonized cheaters (had to disown a few friends) and was so jealous that I got phone calls constantly on the rare occasion i went anywhere without her (we spent all our time together)... and then I get cheated on and dumped for a guy with a girlfriend who lives on the other side of the country.

 

SO... I get a little upset given how loyal faithful and honest I was with her, to fell like I am being spited... nothing against you Shika - I get where you are coming from.

I understand that you feel spited... I was just trying to analyse it... and see where MAYBE POSSIBLY she might be coming from... I don't know the answers, but hope you heal soon!

Pilates is the best to get rid of your stomach fat!! It is the best excercise to tone and not bulk up. If you buy Windsor Pilates and do the DVD every day either the 20 min or one hour, you will see a difference in one week or two.

its misleading to make someone believe that spot reduction can reduce fat in one area... you need to be doing all over exercise and lose fat all over.. it one just slide away from one spot. Pilates is great for overall strength... and i you are losing fat from your stomach you are probably losing it from somewhere else as wekk

Women don't bulk up unless they take hormones... doing HEAVY weights is still the best way for women to become leaner.. women's bodies aren't made to be big and bulky... plenty of women, myself included, lift heavy weights and aren't big and buky I think doing weights is a great way to lose fat

I heard pilates is suppose to be really good for toning your abs, maybe you can spend money on some pilates videos and do that at hom, it's a lot cheaper than the machine!

The best thing for abs is to get rid of the fat on top... lots of people may have abs... but its covered by fat... whether or not you can see the abs depends on your body fat %.. not how many hours of pilates or situps one does best exercises for abs would be the workout you get from doing deadlifts or squats... compund exercises like that are much better (when you use mroe muscle groups) than just abs(mostly isolation exercises)

no such thing as 'tone'... you build muscle or you don't... and whether you can see the muscle depends on how much fat you have covering it.

need to do some weight bearing activity... with some high intensity

so you had the talk that you are back togetther?

i'm concerned that because even though you are takign it 'slow'... you haven't even kissed her?! to me it sounds like you are just friends hanging out once in a while then... if you are going to be back together, I would think a kiss now and then would be part of that!

You never go * * * to mouth!

why not? are a pair of day-old balls so much better

Putting a penis thats been in snugglled in maybe-washed underwear in my mouth is OK, but near the bumhole isn't?

nothing wrong with a bit of * * * licking... as long as you're both clean... i had a couple guys be a bit apprehensive at first, but afterwords the LOVED it!

My last boyfriend LOVED it... especially good when you are both in the 69 with tongue in bum..

a lot of guys get great pleasure from bum stimulation!

Of course , do it clean... nice time is right after you've both had a shower together

I know what you mean by natural talents!.. I think toys can just add another dimension!

Congratulations!!!!!! sounds like you've made a great change in your lifestyle!

it's been about a year since I first had sex. exploring myself has been even longer.

 

my girlfriend and I are completely open to talking about trying new things and how certain things feel and what works best for us. But this is the one thing that I'm uncomfortable with personally that I feel may offend her in a sense.

 

she keeps saying how long her orgasms are and I can see how long and intense it is for her...that's also another reason why I question if I've had one...or maybe mine are a lot shorter than hers.

Have you used toys? what about heated vibrators or massagers..

Alright shik - most on here are american or from elsewhere, so they dont understand canadian geography. To those that do, i apologize!

 

Im from BC, shes from Quebec.

 

She cheated on me with the guy she was with (although they were on the outs) when we met. She says i am a far better boyfriend, but that he is a better lover. Mind games or what?!? What am i to do. I know she still loves me. I was doing great, and now im in the * * * *ter.

She TOLD you he was a better lover?!?!?!?! but then tells you you are a better boyfriend?

ugh.. maybe being 17 has something to do with it?? she sounds very immature.

those are definitely mind games... mind games that you.. or NO ONE deserves!

It sounds like she's so fickle.. one minute she wants him the next she wants you.. Please be with someone that wants you to be her lover and partner.

I just know I could never be with a guy that said that to me.

Maybe try ignoring her.. if you are always responsive to her demands and accept it, she will think its OK and acceptable to treat people like that... and by you going back to her you will be allowing her to do that.

Also , with you living in BC and her in Quebec... I think you'd have to have a pretty rock solid relationship first in order to make a long distance relationship work... not to start something off that is already on rocky grounds.

Just curious.. what would a 17 year old be doing on the other side of the country moving in with a guy? Has she already finished school? Do you think maybe things were too rushed at the beginning with you moving in together?

yes I've had them or the same feelings on my own. I'm just wondering if there's more to it or if I'm missing something maybe.

 

that would be great thank you

have you only just recently started having sex? or exploring yourself?

I say it just gets better for a woman! especially if you are open to trying new things.... i have to admit, I've learned more on my own.. and then when i've been with a guy its helped me because I know what I like... and get him to give me a hand.. ha ha!

sorry to hear all this... all i can say is get rid of the stuff if it makes you feel better... or.. keep it on the boxes and hide it away for a time when you are able to look at it without it making you feel so bad

not just boys like porn.. I like watching it.. nothing too odd like vegetarian amputee lesbian-grannies-and-pets

but just good old fashioned bonking... Every guy I know has watched it at some point.. and I really don't have a problem with a guy I'm dating watching it.. as others have said, its just a release thing...and its fun

sometimes you have to practice.. its true... on your own sometimes... but it sounds like you did... I know the first few I ever had were good... but since then they've gotten better as I've learned more about my body, the way I lie sit, the angles, the timing, the touch, the pressure... all kinds of things

sounds like you had one... I know I've had a good one if I can feel it in my toes and my toes clench up... sigh...

i would never go back to a cheater... never never never..

but I understand... its difficult when you love someone... she sounds like quite the 'b' to be honest..