beebee

dear don... ive been following your story and im amazed at your strength... how is it that you have found the energy after such an emotional upheavel in your life to do the things that you are doing?... its amazing to me... i unfortunately curled up in a ball with the pain... i mean that almost literally and im not very proud of myself for being that sick in the head... i just couldnt find the energy to move on... everything to me was such a burden... im not saying that i didnt do everything that i was "supposed" to do... i feel that i did... i changed jobs, looked for a new profession, went back to school for more education, dated a bit, found my own place to live... but all of it was fake... everything i did was more to survive then to "live"... im still empty inside even though im still trying... its as if the cosmos arent looking kindly upon me to give me that one ray of sunshine that will make me feel as if ive moved on and am truly living once again... i just want to stop hurting... your thread intrigues and interests me and as ive said before, i am praying for you and your success in life... you sound like such a wonderful person who deserves all the happiness with someone who is just as special as you... i feel almost "less then" because i dont have the strength you have and it just makes me sadder to think im so weak... ive pretty much tried all the things that i was to do, such as see a therapist to taking the requiste anti-depressants, to talking with my friends, working non-stop, etc etc... all of this was to no avail... im still at a loss... deeply and horribly at a loss... sorry... i didnt mean to take us off the main subject of your moving on... i just dont know what else to do to become like you... you truly do amaze me with your strength and i love your analagies in the way you express yourself... God Bless...

i think its because they (our ex-significant other) become our mother, father, sister, brother, best friend, lover, constant companion, (have i left anyone out?)... in one... i allowed that to happen... it happened slowly and the next thing i knew, i had noone else but him in my life... so i became secular and ensconsed in my little bubble with him not noticing anyone else... sigh... not healthy... run from that even though its the most spectacular high ive ever known... i miss him terribly even after 2 years... sniff sniff... lol... but ill live... again... God Bless...

i wish you the best... im interested even though i dont know you... funny how we connect and become empaths to one another... i guess pain brings people together... happiness (what is that?) sets us apart... i feel that most of the time when we are happy we cant "connect" with others... only pain binds us... strange... im rambling... God Bless... im praying for you...

empathy... you are my hero!... lol... that was a fantastic response!... as far as him wanting to shove his life down your throat?... why would he?... what would be the point?... i understand people being cruel to one another when they first break up because emotions run high and he literally was throwing his new g/f in your face (like a little kid)... but now after all this time?... when someone moves on, they move on, if you know what i mean... they become so totally indifferent to everyone but themselves that it truly doesnt even enter their minds to contact anyone... why would they?... do they care?... i dont think so... sure... he wants something... personally i dont think his relationship with his russian girlfriend is that great or he wouldnt be contacting you... usually your so ensconsed with your present relationship that why would you need someone else to fill in the holes?... and also... hes looking on your site... kinda strange isnt it?... he hasnt moved on toots and things are not so peachy with his current g/f... he misses you... just my opinion...