LaFilleTriste

Sooner or later no one will reply to my posts, because they'll know that I'm just completely hopeless. I mean, people don't want to hear someone complain incessantly and ask for advice, and then just give everyone the impression that their advice is useless. I'm sorry. Maybe I just need some sympathy.

I know that I'm saying that I'm planning to lose the weight, but I've actually been planning to lose the weight for 7 years, and I've never come around to doing it. All I've done is gain more and more weight. I shouldn't even be worrying about loose skin right now, I should be worrying if I could even lose the weight at all. A lot of the time that I've failed is because I sometimes get to thinking that it's not worth it to take care of myself, and that I should just keep doing the bad I've been doing to my body because that's what I deserve.

I'm sorry if I'm getting somewhat off topic. This happens to me a lot. No matter what I'm talking about, it all just leads to how I'm ugly.

I don't think anybody could ever understand how deeply I loathe my appearance and personality. I look around and all I see are people who are normal, people who don't have to wear winter clothes in the summer because they have no stretch marks or scars to hide. All I see are girls my age, able to express themselves with nice clothes because they don't look like monsters. All I hear are guys talking about how beautiful certain women are, how they're so great because they look good. I know this is all so superficial, but I can't help it. I just want to be like everyone else: NORMAL.

People always tell me that I have certain physical qualities that are beautiful after I complain about being ugly because they just want to be nice. They think I'm fishing for compliments. Yes, I believe all women are beautiful...except for me. I'm the exception. I thought that at least if I weren't blessed with good looks, then I could be smart or funny or interesting. But I'm none of those things as well. I am nothing. This makes me cry.

Everyone's constantly asking when my baby is due, and I'm not even pregnant!

Sometimes, I'm actually optimistic about the skin problems going away if I lose the weight, and sometimes I'm not. But I'm still going to do what I have to do because I figure being thin with skin problems is better than being fat with skin problems. I'm also aware that I'm at risk for diseases and it's a reason why I'm trying to lose weight. I have most of my fat concentrated in my belly which is the worst place to have it. However, my health isn't the main reason I'm making this decision to lose weight. Oh why couldn't I just be like those people that may be overweight, but have it all in the right places? If I was like that now, I probably wouldn't be giving myself such a hard time, but I'm not like that. That's why everybody thinks I'm disgusting.

the thought of loose skin would not make me change my mind about losing the weight. I just feel like it would really suck to get loose skin because of all the other skin problems I already have.

I'd feel better if I didn't have to lose 80 lbs because then I would think the chances are lower with less weight to lose. I don't think I'm in the higher range of weight for someone who's 5'2", because back when I was 120 lbs, people thought I was chunky.

No matter how bad I feel about the way I look, I don't think I would ever get surgery. Because if I were to get surgery for having loose skin, I'd start thinking all these negative things like although I've lost the excess skin, I'd have big old scars in place of them, and that my scars would be really bad because my skin never heals properly. I have plenty of scars on my body from minor cuts and scrapes, that would have otherwise healed completely on a normal person.

I am 5'2" and 180 lbs. I'm going to try to lose weight. I don't really know how much weight I need to lose for my height, but personally I think my healthy weight would be at 100 lbs. If this is the case, I would need to lose 80 lbs, which I've heard would cause loose skin because of the substantial amount of weight that it is. Does anyone know what's the best thing I can do to prevent or at least reduce the chances of getting loose skin? I have struggled with my weight for years, and it has actually made me a very depressesed, anti-social person. Everyday I cry because of what I've done to myself. I would like to think that I'd be happier once I reach my goal weight, but knowing that I could get loose skin would just make me feel worse about myself, since right now I am already dealing with having stretch marks practically all over my body, as well as other incurable skin conditions I have due to my obesity. I'd be grateful for any advice.

I went through the same thing. My mother was verbally and physically abusive when I was growing up, up until high school. This only stopped when I got a full-time job @ 18, and wasn't at home a lot. She used to be controlling, I always had to stay home all the time. She always said I was stupid and worthless. She was the source of my pain at that time in my life. Well, at 19, I moved out because I got married, and then she just backed off. She became a nicer person. It doesn't seem your mother is getting better because she is still abusing you and you are grown. I was always scared of my mom too, I could never confront her, I let her do whatever she wanted to me because I was too scared of her. I never really resolved the situation though because I ended up moving out, and she changed. I can't really tell you what to do because I myself never did anything about it. I just let time pass. All I can say is that I sympathize with you and I'm sorry your mom is so cruel.

A reason why I have stayed in this relationship is probably my low self esteem. I have always had low self-esteem since after high school, and now it's just gotten worse after being with him. Sometimes I think that no one else would ever want me anyway because I'm too fat and ugly. I feel that this is probably the only relationship I'll ever have because I'm so lame. I think that he hits me because I look like crap, so I should be treated like crap. I have other major issues besides this one, so I just feel hopeless about everything in my life. I feel like why should I fix anything that is messed up in my life if I'm just pathetic. It doesn't seem like it matters because I feel all of this was meant to happen to me.

I agree with what you are saying. I just find it hard because for the past 2 and half yrs, he's been my life, the person that I've always been around, and without him, it feels like there's no one else to be there for me. I only have 2 friends, and they live far away so I don't see them very often. I would just be all alone with my 2 dogs and no one else. I don't feel like it would be much difference to leave because I would still feel lonely and sad. It must feel like I'm rejecting your guys' advice, but I really do appreciate what you guys have to say about it.

I cannot stay with my parents, not because of anything he's been saying about them, but because my stepdad was sexually abusing me. I know there are other options. It's really hard for me.

I just find it very difficult to leave. We have no children together and we don't own any property or anything like that. I feel that I should just stay and try not to make him mad. I know I sound stupid but I have nowhere to go if I leave him. I used to live with my parents, and I cannot go back there because bad things were happening to me when I lived there. I cannot afford to live on my own. I don't know what to do, but I feel like I just cannot leave. I still love him inspite of it all. More than anything I just want things to work out between us. I shouldn't have even bothered to ask this question if I already knew leaving wasn't an option.

I was wondering if anyone can help me with this. I have been married for 2 years now, and for the past year or so, my husband has become abusive. He gets angry with me very easily, he's very irritable, and once in a while he hits me. When I started dating him, he was very quiet and tried very hard to please me and spent time with me everyday. Now it seems he's just mad all the time and doesn't want to be with me that much, and we haven't had sex in 6 months. Well, anyway, I know people say that when your husband hits you, even once, that you should do something about it. But I never felt that I needed to. It really hurts me that he would do something like that to me, but I feel that I love him too much, and that he really didn't mean it. It doesn't seem like he would eventually kill me, but he does exhibit violent behavior. For instance, he hits our dogs or threatens to harm them when he's mad at me because he knows I love them very much. He destroys objects around him and yells very very loudly while calling me b***h and other profanities. I've also gained a lot of weight during this marriage, and he gets really upset sometimes when he sees me eating like a "pig". Like one time I came home with donuts, and he knocked them off of my hands, and crushed them with his feet on the floor. Another time I was eating chips while watching tv and he took the bag and poured the contents all over me, while crushing them into my hair and face while saying mean things about being so fat. I don't know if this sounds funny to people, but I was really hurt at the time because I felt like he hated me for being overweight. I just thought that husbands are supposed to love you no matter what. He says it's because he cares about my health, but why would he go about letting me know that way? When it comes to hitting me, he'll punch me on the body, slap my face, shove me to the ground or kick me while I'm on the ground. But he never has actually injured me. The most he's done is leave a few small bruises. I would always cry afterwards, and then he would try to comfort me and say sorry. Now if he hits me, he ignores me and acts mad for the rest of the day, as if it was my fault. He's not as abusive as other people's abusive husbands are, and he doesn't control who I speak to or where I go or how I dress, etc. But I don't know if it's okay that I'm staying with him in the hopes of working things out. The physical abuse doesn't happen that often, mostly he's just a very irritable person and always talks to me with an attitude. I feel that I really love him. Should I try to work things out with him, or just end it now? When people are physically abused, is that a sign that you should automatically leave the relationship?