downbroken

Thanks JC I really appreciate all your help. And yes I have the letter and I will give it to her this week. I fully understand that she might reject me. And I am ready to deal with it. After all once you hit rock bottom you can't fall any further. Thanks Again

So the weekend is over and I survived it somehow. I spent time with my ex for the first time since our split. I went to go see my son's soccer game. I sat down by myself, but when the game started my ex came and sat next to me. We had a quick conversation mostly about the son and the way he was playing. I cracked a joke here and there and even an old inside joke between her and myself. She got it right away and gave me that smile of hers that I miss so much. After that someone ask for help and she had to leave and go help the team. Soon after her other son comes and sits next to me. He is not my boy but we got very close. After all I been in his life since he was a year old (he is 8 now). I missed him too. So we began to talk. The whole time I would catch my ex looking at me from afar. When the game was over I was hanging out with both the boys and my ex just kept looking at me. Finally I had to leave so I told my ex and the boys bye. She just smiled and said bye. Driving away I still couldn't figure out where she is trying to open doors or is just comfortable in hanging out with me for our son's sake. What do you guys think? Am I living in a world of false hope or is something there? Thanks for Reading

I believe people get on this particular forum looking for advice on how to get someone back. The funny thing is that the most common advice that is giving is NC. I know that NC is the way to go in most cases. However, I feel that this one is different. This is an opening there that I believe you should take. Love is a tricky thing that we might conprehend but never fully understand. That is why sometimes you need to put yourself out there and your heart on the line. Why not take a shot? Take it at her pace. Sure in the end it might hurt, but there is also the chance that it might be good even great. Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. And you always have us to be here for you. Remember all this only if you really want to. In the end the choice is yours. D&B

Yeah she didn't cheat on. We were apart when she told me about the "new guy". So I can't be mad at her for that because she was honest. As for tonight I am going to hang out with some friends and maybe go out do something. I know that it will help but I also know that I still won't be able to stop thinking about it. Man I can't waiting for tomorrow to be over.

I want to disagree with you but you make a lot of sense. I thought that I was showing her that I was being the bigger man but respecting her and her wishes of moving on. Tomorrow I'm going to have to see her and actually spend time with her. I am so nervous because I feel that tomorrow will give me all the insight I need to know about her good or bad. I know that I won't be about to sleep tonight.

I have stuck up from myself. Only on that same day that she told me it was over did I try and plead my case. After that I walk away. I have not told her anything since that day about me wanting to get back. Every single time that I see her I am all smiles. It's killing me but I have never let her see have far I fallen without her. When she talks to me I am the one that cuts the conversation short. That is why I wonder if she has had a change of heart, but maybe, just maybe she thinks that I am the one who is over it all. I want to let her know that I am not over it and I would want to try. So I don't think that is a matter of me being to nice.

What do you mean?

The funny thing about it all is that I know excatly what went wrong the first time. I kick my self all the time for not changing then. But if I am giving the second chance. I will surely do whatever it takes to make it right and build it back up slowly. This weekend that is coming up is going to be so tough because it is going to be the first time that I hang out with her since our spilt.

Thanks man and you are right I will go down swinging. Becuase I feel that she is worth it and I will put it all on the line. I already hit rock bottom losing her. I can't fall any further. If she feels the same for me than I know that it will work out but if not.....Then I will know to seek another path without her.

I did ignore the topic of marrige. I didn't know what I was thinking I will blame it on me being inmature. During the time that I have been without her I have thought about what do I really want. The answer became clear after months of soul sreaching that I do want to be with her and marry her for all the right reason. Because back then she want me to be someone I wasn't. She would tell me that I could be that person not just for her and for me and my son. Now after all this time I finally see that she was right. I'm a better person. Now my problem is how do I let her know that. I have been thinking of writing her a letter. I want her to know that I am not over her and that I really do love her. I feel that the time to give it to her is near.

Hello again to everyone here at enotalone. I am writing again because I am still fighting my battle about my ex with myself. I would like to post more often but I have limited access to a computer but when I do I always come by here and read it is so helpful. Here is my story in case you are interested. I have stayed in LC because of my son and the fact that I do have to see her. The funny thing is that lately when I pick up or drop my son I see her so much differently. She looks like if the she is not happy. Either she is not with that other guy anymore or if she is than she is not happy. A friend of mine who lives by her told me that she has not seen the other guy's car at her house for about a month now. I was trying to move on but she got me wondering when on day she dropped off my son early one morning with breakfast for both my son and me. She bought me breakfast….ok enough of that. Last week she called me to tell me about my son's soccer game which is normal but the she started to tell me about her nephew's birthday party. To which she ended with "you are more than welcome to come". I didn't know how to take it because I wasn't sure if she was telling me that for my son's game or the party. But I don't think that I need an invitation to my own son's game or at least I didn't before. I had to work so I could make it to either. All I said was sorry I have to work and then I changed the conversation to something else about my son. The next day when I went to go pick up my son I saw her and she looked down. I know her very well and I could she that something was really bothering her. I ask her if she was ok without thinking. I guess that is how down she looked, but she replied that she was fine. Ok then I said and then I left. Pointless info it used to be when I saw her she was always dressed nice and looking good but that is not the case anymore. That day was weird because out of the blue my son started asking me when could his mom and I take him places. Nowhere specific just places in general. This really got me thinking and made me sad. When I dropped him off, her whole family was there and they were really nice to me. Her sister who lives out of town came up to me to say hi and the whole routine. All this with my ex just looking at me. Now we get too yesterday. I called her to say hi to my son and she started asking me if I was working for his next game. I said no and she gave all the info and told me that she would see me there. The funny thing is that she is making small talk and keeps the conversation going. All this after she used to be really short and to the point with me. Now knowing that I still want to be with her I am terrified about going to this game because I don't know what she is thinking. This is going to be the first time we both go to the same game because one of us is usually working. She is a proud girl and I know that if she is missing me she will not come out and say it. In fear that I might reject her. I say this because when I see her I put up this front that all is good and I am happy. When in reality I am dying inside. Now that I wrote a dang novel (sorry about that)my questions are. Do you guys think that she is coming around and maybe try to initiate something between us or is it that she is so over me that she is comfortable in talking to me and carrying out a civil relationship? It may be false hope but for someone reason I honestly feel that she is coming around I have this gut feeling about it. Any input would be helpful. Thanks in advance. D&B

I haven't posted in a while becasue I thought that I was over the fact that I was no longer with my ex and that she was with someone else. I was wrong. I started thinking about her all the time. I have dreams about her every other night. The dreams it is mostly about us getting back together. Other times she is just there by my side. Recently at my son's soccer game I saw all her family. Everyone but my ex she was working. There where really nice to me, almost like me and my ex never split up. They still treated me as part of the family and I enjoyed it because I have missed that so much. I hung out with them and had a good time. The weird thing is that she has been really nice to me all of a sudden. Making small talk and cracking a joke here and there. She smiles at me more and even makes eye contact with me now. All this after I have already started thinking about her again. I don't know how to take this. Is it that maybe she is finally over me and feels that she can talk to me like any other person. Or is there more to it like hope that maybe we can work things out. I know she was dating someone else, but I couldn't prove that they are together as of lately. Sould I go through with trying to talk to her or write her a letter? This is so much harder for me because she is the mother of my son. I would really would want to try. Please help Thanks

So you think that I should talk to her about it. That it is easier said than done. But the weird thing is that she has been really nice to me all of a sudden. Making small talk and cracking a joke here and there. She smiles at me more and even makes eye contact with me now. I don't know how to take this. Is it that maybe she is finally over me and feels that she can talk to me like any other person. Or is there more to it like hope that maybe we can work things out. I know she was dating someone else, but I couldn't prove that they are together as of lately. Sould I go through with trying to talk to her? Please help

Hello everyone. I am having a tough time right now because I thought that I was over my ex. We were together for six years and we have been apart now for 7 months. I did nc to the best of my ability because we have a son together. Well lately he started school so we have had to be in contact a lot more. As we talk about things for our son I realize that I still have strong feelings for her. The worst thing is that she is dating someone else. Before we broke up we where planning our lives together. We were waiting to see if I got a job that would relocate us to another city. That job never came through. Until now I just got the position. My problem is I don't want to leave her and my son behind. I want so bad to go tell her the come with me and we can start over in a new city away for everyone and everything. Just like we had planned before we broke up. I know that I am kidding myself. But something inside tells me that this is the right thing to do and that she just might say yes. What do you guys thinks. Do you think that I have false hope and I am wasting my time? Any input and advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

Hello again everyone. I am posting again to update my situation and hope to maybe help others who read this. About two months my gf of 6 years broke up with me and started dating some right away. Here is the link to my original post in case you would like to read the whole story: . I know a lot of people look on this thread looking for success stories on getting their ex back. I know because I was one of them. Well I have a success story. I have being doing LC with my ex for about a month and a half now. I have to have some because we have a little boy together. If it wasn't for that then I would be doing NC. I started doing that because I was a mess with out her. There was not a day that I didn't hope and fantasize of getting back with my ex. Pretty much killing myself with thoughts of her with her new boyfriend. But as time went on I kind of got tried of hope and wishing that this temporary and that one day I would be back with her. I stopped thinking about her all the time and started getting life back in order. I got over the fact that she was with someone else. And all this became clear last night. I was out with my friend last night having a drink. When my worst nightmare came true or at least I thought it was. My ex walked in the door with her new man. I saw her and waved hello and she returned the wave. They sat in plain view of were I was. But I didn't care any more. Not that I didn't care about her anymore, but I didn't care to put myself through any more pain and suffering over it. I turned around and went about my business. I guess my point to all this is that my success story is not about getting my ex back, but about the fact that I'm moving on. My situation proves that it does get better. That the pain does stop. That moving on is possible. I believe now that getting your ex back is not worth the pain and anguish. Getting you life together is the important thing. Life is too short to sit around and mope. I am not sitting around being depressed any more I am getting on with life. I hope that somehow and in someway this is helpful to somebody. Thanks for reading, Not so down and broken

Well here is an update to my story. Just when I was hoping that my ex's new bf was not all that she has hoped for. And maybe just maybe we might be able to work things out. She calls to ask me if I can watch our son for the weekend so she can go out of town. Part of me is starting to think that this is over, but the other half of me still has hope. I know that I should start to move on but, I just can't stop thinking that this will pass and we will be together in the end. I don't know what to think anymore. What should I do?

Wow liasonred it looks like our situations are very similar. Thank you for the advice. I know that I am prolonging the pain, but I feel that I just can't give up that easy. It there were no kids involved maybe this would be a lot easier, but who knows. So what happened when with you, her, and the wedding? Putyourbackinto it is funny that you mention that because I actually lost weight and got in shape during our time together. I was always telling that we need to go out and do more things, but she is the one that never wanted to go out.

Thanks Saw, No I did not live with her, But I did have daily contact with both kids. I am not sure how she would take me maintaining a relationship with her son.

Hello everyone. This is my first post ever but I have been logging on this site for about a month now and it has been very helpful to me. Well here is my story…. About a month ago my girlfriend of six years broke up with me and started dating someone who she works with about a week later. Needless to say this turned my world upside down. But what really killed me was when I had a suspicion that she was seeing someone else and asked her about it. She made it perfectly clear that she was seeing someone else and that she was happy. I asked her about us to see if work could work it out. She said no she was done with me. I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes but that it was over between us. After that I just bit my tongue and wished her a good night. I feel that it is my fault because I wasn't the best boyfriend as of late. I never cheated on her or anything like that, but I did blow her off when it came time to talk about getting married. Why? I don't know why now, but I must have had a good reason back then that I can't think of anymore. Also I never got along with her mother. I guess what makes it so bad is that I can't use the NC rule because we have a four year old little boy together. So I have to see her on a daily basis. The first two weeks were the worst. Everyday when I dropped my son off I had to see her and she had no problem showing me that she was happy. I didn't say much to her when I drop him off just hi and bye. But that was tearing me up inside I could not eat or sleep. My birthday landed in that to week period and she did not even acknowledge it at all. I guess that was just some more salt on the wound. The last two weeks she has not been looking so happy. She won't look me in the eyes and if I get a glimpse of her eyes they look red like if she wants to cry. I know she is still seeing this guy but she is not as obvious about it anymore. You think she is coming around? Another thing about our situation is that she has eight year old boy (that is not mine) that she had when she was in high school. The little boy and I are close because I have been a part of his life since he was two. And lately he has wanted me to hang out with him but I can't. I don't feel comfortable being in her house any longer than I have too. But I know when he asks me to stay it really strikes a nerve with my ex. I don't know what to do. I want her back, not only for me but for the kids. Should I just keep doing what I doing and stay on a LC basis and hope that she comes around. But that approach makes me nervous because she is a very proud person and if she wants to try and work things out. I think that she won't take the first step. Or should I write her a letter telling her how I feel in other words should I take the first step. Or should I just give up hope. Could anyone help shed some light on this for me please?