orvil

hehe i know dude. was just playing...

i know exactly how you feel here... i have had virtualy a mirror image situation regarding the communication side of things. its the change in habit that first rings alarm bells and gets the imagination racing. when your routine breaks its human nature to suspect the worst. at least i have found this the case in men. what syborg just said is so true to do. DONT call her let her call you. as much as its the sensible thing to do i think i managed to last about 2 days before i had to call and let out all the build up of thoughts in my head.. my opinion on what to try is to sit down with pen and paper or at a the pc maybe a few beers inside you to loosen up your emotions ( the beers are optional but in the past they have helped me let out that extra it of emotion ) write down what you would say if she was sat infront of you and she couldnt answer. dont stop to read what you have wrote. just write what comes into your head, again still writing as if you are saying it to her face to face.. take a break from it go watch TV make a drink any thing.. doiing this you will think of other things you want to know and how you feel.. go back and keep emptying your thoughts on to paper.. DONT read back through it..... when you have got it all out go to bed.. if you cant sleep get up and write more... when you get up in the morning re read what you typed or wrote and throw it away... it may sound a silly activity BUT trust me it works wonders with dealing with the silly things that go through our head in this situation... one final note, if you are any thing like me i would speak to her ASAP and get things clear for your own good. some people can play games i personaly would not have let it get that far before saying something. in your situation you need to know 1 is it over? 2. if we are still together why are you been this way.. your mind is craving answers and all you are doing is torturing your self trying to make your own up.. good luck and hope that it turns out roses and ice cream...

@ SYBORG... a lot of what you say is also correct as the same as arille but i have just noticed your Signature, doesnt that kind of contradict what you just gave me your opinion on? i used to live my life by that moto but i would disagree with what it stands for now as it can turn out that you end up have more regrets for doing stuff than regrets for not doing it.. dont want this post to go off on a tangent now over that saying was just saying that if i lived by that moto now i would be seeing both of them and maybe even trying to get them in the same bed... hehe

Arille has understood where im coming from a little more syborg has kinda taken it the wrong way in some respects. but its understandable as texts dont express honesty, feellings and emotion... thank you both for your answers, you both said what i was thinking deep down. and just to clear a few things up the title eggs in one basket is a saying and was not ment to be a reference comparing women to eggs. and the reference to having insurance policys as back up is not the case either. also i am not nor never would have more than one lady on the go at a time. i have had my fair share of thrills fun and more than 2 in a bed sessions.. so im not looking for a complicated situation, even though i have got one here. the main reason of my trip is to see girl B but also to catch up with some people i know who own 2 tattoo shops there as im close friends with there family. so as much as girl B is getting my undivided attention she is also aware that my visit is to see some friends i have not seen in over 3 years. and just a little inside info on me..... i am now ready to settle down and start a happy family and will not settle for second best. bot these women are the only ones that i have met in the past 4 years that have come close to making me feel this way. im not by any means desperate nor am i out looking for it. agreed that girl A has had her chance, as it were, and the time has passed and i should be focusing on girl B as that was my original plan. and like the old saying goes what will be will be. but i totaly agree with every thing Arielle said... and thank you for advice..

hi all, this is my first post here and its going to be a rather lenghty one. have read a lot of your posts and feel i will get some honest and constructive answers to my dilema. i have asked friends and people i work with but they live in there small worlds not appreciating situations like the ones a lot of you are living or have been through. im not 100% which way round to start this story. lets take it right back to the start so when i explain the current problem it will all be clear ( i hope ) ok.. im a 30 yr old male from the UK and about 4 years ago met a ladyfrom the USA of same age on myspace. the inital reason for messages was physical attraction on both sides... she is drop dead gorgeous, body to die for ( as she is an ice skater ). even though i dont think im model material she was more than impressed with my phsyique.. from there we just exchanged messages and emails then i introduced her to web cam and voice comms online. this evolved to more and we both admited that even though we are limited to our interaction we were both feeling things more than just mates for each other. we had so much in common, our sexual desires our thoughts our views wants needs.. they fitted like a jigsaw.. every thing matched. when you have specific desires and fantays and you find another that shares the same ones and you also get on like a house on fire with out the sexual thing it makes the whole thing magic. for example we used to put our web cams on so we could watch each other sleep, it was so cute doing so.. . i dont need to go into details about what it was but we were so compatable in more ways than one.. i dont need to make to much out of this part of my story as its just background info for the present day issue i have.... any way over the 8 months or so we was falling for each other in a big way but i think that scared her off as the concept even to me was so bizarre that you can end up feeling and sharing what we did yet we had never even held hands.. so we kinda went our separate ways and things faded out.. we have always kept intouch from time to time.. so with that out the way on to the present day... about a year ago i met another lady on myspace ( im no longer on myspace any more just so you know ) she is from USA as well. there was a little physical attraction there and our first few methods of contact there was just small talk.. this then went to webcams and voice comms online and again it was just small talk,. no spark just another person that shared interests and we was keen to learn about each others lives and social backgrounds. we chatted on and offline and mailed each other from time to time. and basicaly developed a great friendship. this friendship has now evolved into something more. this in itself is a first for me as my past loves i have known with in hours if we have anything between us.. but this time it was different its become something with out either of us noticing.. we have sent each other gifts speak every day on phone ( she even got international calling so she can call me with out paying a fortune ) we are on msn cam and voice as often as poss. we have 1 day a week we make sure we are there for each other and spend up to 8 hours some times just talking to each other.. so we have no exhausted the means of comms we have so i book my self a ticket to go see her. i will also be seeing some friends i have out there that own some shops there. so i have got a saftey net if things dont pan out like we want... im heading out next month, we are both so excited but also so scared. for the first week im staying in a hotel and if all goes well staying with her for the last week. the hotel was just keep the pressure to a minimum rather than just turning up for the first time and sharing the same bed from the word go.. there has been no talk of a serious relationship or of the what if's. we have both agreed to just meet up and see where it goes from there and deal with the what if's later.. but in kinda preperation we have both taken a full screen for STD's so if any thing was to happen we would both be safe. it might be presumpsious of us both to have done that but thats not the case its more a just in case.. i really dont know how its going to turn out with this one im going to see.. but i do know its going to go one of two ways.. we will either fall madly in love or end up been best of friends...... right. now to the problem and what i would like honest advice on.. i kind of already know what to do but just need some impartial thoughts on it... the lady i mentioned first in the letter found out the other day that im coming to the USA, and was rather excited that im going be in the US still a long way from her but lots closer than i am now. she suggested meeting up and asked if she could fly up to see me. i explained that i am stayin in a hotel for the first week and at a friends the second week. she asked if she could come up and stay at the hotel with me for a day or 2.. 1 part of me is saying forget girl A that has passed and you know that the new girl is great and you will get on better than you hoped for.... another part is saying dont put all your eggs in one basket. you dont know how things will turn out and who knows the A girl might still be perfect for you... if this was happening in my own country i would not be asking this... but im traveling all the way to the US... the fact that i had/still have feelings for girl A and have just develpoed feelings for girl B and have the chance to see both of them in person. there we go... i have probably missed some bits out as im typing this work. and as im sure you are aware there is much more to both these relationsips that its near impossible to express in a forum post so you will have to use your imaginations and just know that the feelings for girl A who i met first are still there and Girl B i have new fresh feelings just as strong.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i know im probably complicating things for myself, story of my life, and i should just go meet girl B and take it from there... but like the title says... do put all my eggs in one basket? or keep my options open.