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Im quite an introverted person, i have to admit i dont like group situations but if i go somewhere with my GF i try and make the effort so as not to show her up. She says she doesnt mind that im like that but i still try and atleast relax enough to join in conversations, it usually requires a little alcohol though to get me going. Im not saying drinking is the answer! Once ive talked to some1 for abit at one party then when i see them next time its easier to talk to them. It is a hard thing for some people to be comfortable in those kinds of situations. I make a fool out of myself all the time because i dont know how to talk to people and they just dont understand my sense of humor, but i still get on ok.

Well its been about 2 months since i last posted here, she has around a month left before she gets back. Theres been ups and downs all the way and its been hard. We established a way of regular comunication, it seems she had the same fears about me chaning my mind about her. We decided to send 1 text message everyday if we could, she'd send 1 at night and id reply. But 2 weeks ago she moved to a new location and is living with a guy over there, although i was slightly jelious at first i got over it because i trust her. Things have since gone downhill though... I didnt hear from her for over a week and a time we had planned for me to call her she didnt answer the phone. So i managed to get through to her a couple of days ago and ask if she was ok. She said she was getting on great with this guy and they were having fun and she had left her phone turned off all week by accident. This is what im worried about...normally she tells me how much she misses me and how she cant wait for me to call, yet it seems she didnt give me a second thought all week. I started to worry that she might be falling for this guy so i quizzed her about it and she basically told me to leave her alone and wait until she contacts me. I have no clue * * * is going on?! it seems to me that shes fallen for this guy but she says she hasnt. Im not sure what ive done to upset her but im not going to contact her and just wait. The guy in question leaves on monday so maybe she might call or text me then and let me know whats going on. I reallyl dont want to lose her and up until that phone call i didnt think she wanted to lose me either. I dont know what to think or what to do. I just needed to voice my thoughts.

Thanks for you reply Njron. Ive tried to be supportive and i helped out alot with organising her trip, fund raising, tieing off loose ends etc. I know shes greatful and she knows i still support her now. Ive calmed down alot since i made that first post, im trying to deal with it, keeping busy and getting advice from here and talking with friends about how i feel, aswell as the journal. All seems to be helping! 1 thing im not going to do though is upset her by telling her how bad i feel, this is a chance of a life time and i wouldnt want to spoil it, but i did send her a msg saying what she meant to me and that i was thinking of her. Im unsure whether she will get it or not. I am going to 'work on myself' im not a particularly fit person, although this girl thinks i have a good body i think im going to surprise her by toning up abit. Also i have alot of work to hand in for my degree in a few weeks, i guess ill have more free time to work on it and hopfully get a better grade. Trying to think positively Thanks again guys for all your help!

Hey Sandela, thanks for your reply. What you said has really helped me, its so good to hear some advice from someone that might know what im feeling. I dont have many friends in real life, hence why i chose this site to express my feelings and fears. Theres so many things she said to me before she went and she told me not to doubt her or anything shes said. Its only today that i feel happy knowing what shes said is true, ive worried so much over the last couple of days. Great advice! ive been reading a note she wrote me not long ago and have been keeping a journal of my thoughts, im starting to feel better about the whole thing although i miss her like mad. Thanks again, i may still post on here to get my emotions out, its always good to have someone elses opinions.

Hey im 21 and at university in England. I recently got with a girl i met a little over 2.5 years ago, she blew me away the second i met her. Over the last year wev become really close and i found out from a mutual friend that she had also liked me from the moment we met. Wev always been flirty with each other but to both of us it had always been a case of 'its never going to happen so dont hope' when infact we were both thinking the same thing. Anyhow we got together just after christmas, its really working because we already knew each other so well. I just cant say or describe how strongly i feel for her, quite perfectly matched if i do say so myself. The problem comes with her ambition....shes crazy about travel and wildlife, there interests we both share, except im tied down by uni and she isnt. Today she went to South Africa, shes there for 3 months, then shes back home for a month or so then shes off to South America. She has various other adventures planned out over the next couple of years. I guess im just using this as a place to voice my feelings. Im quite an insecure person, i havent had alot of success with relationships and ive trusted people that ireally shouldnt have trusted. Thats all in the past but it still effects me now. Basically i know i can trust the girl im with when ever shes away, whether shes with other guys or not. All our mutual friends know how we both feel and we both feel we can make it work over the months shes away. The next part of the problem comes with my mind. I find myself making up scenarios in my head, not of her cheating on me but of her realising im not good enough, i dont have a strong opinion of my self even though she believes in me so much. I just see her changing her mind basically, this is in everyday life, i have yet to experience what ill be like when shes away. She makes everything right again when i feel down, inadequate or worthless. I dont know how to deal with it while shes away. Ive asked myself if i rely on her for this 'comfort' or whether i can do it alone. The fact is ive done it for so long without her so i shouldnt 'need' her. I think its because i have this strong fear of losing her, i know i have something really good with her and it would break my heart if it were to end. TBH my thoughts arnt really that clear atm. Ive talked to friends today, theyve sort of put my mind at rest for now, but i know tomorrow will bring its own troubles. Whats worse is i cant really contact her very easily to get reasurance from her that shes actually thinking of me. bah, whats wrong with me? i just need some advice on how i can deal with being 1000km's apart with no contact and not knowing who shes with, if she still feels the same or whether shes met some1 new. Thinking about it i guess it does look like i dont trust her, but i totally do. Its just u can only trust some1 until they break that trust. Say for example she did meet someone and she spend 3 months solid with them, and in a moment of thoughtlessness she makes a move on him? in that instant the trust in the relationship is gone even when it was there so strongly before.But unfortunately humans make mistakes and i guess its this thought that causes all of my upset. ...But after all my crazy thoughts and ideas everything melts away when she says those magic words 'i love you' Ok ive read through the above, just trying to realise my own problems. I find it hard to deal with my own self esteem issues and my insecurity about her leaving me for some1 better. I feel better, not sure if any1 will read this, not even sure if i should have even writen it. thanks