mikeca

some background info would be helpful

how long did they date / who ended it / etc..

well what dont you like about yourself? work on those would help your confidence

was I the only person who went "WHAT IS LOVE? baby dont hurt me..."

stop chasing her, like tyler said your doing all the work right now, sit back she knows how you feel let her do some of the work (if she wants to) that way you can judge if its real or not.

On the last one... good ab's and pec's do help though

im on it. haha

I had this problem (if you can say that) I just chaulked it up to being able to last long, even once you have sex if you keep this up for a while your GF will love it. (no one minute man here hah) but all I can say is relax, maybe go down on her first (that really got me going) and see where it takes you.

well on one side im glad you got some closure out of the situation. Your right when you said you did everything you could, you swallowed your pride and made an effort. Now I believe it will hurt all over again but now that you've tried, I think NC will be more absolute, you let him know you care, nothing more you can do.

well i guess after this amount of time you begin to weigh the pros of your partner vs the cons after you recognize them more, so you make the choice, does he/she add up to what you want? and are they making you happy? can you see yourself going the distance?

haha well...theres full on excited and just aroused...I wouldnt be full 'hard'on excited when my exgf did those things but it would get my mind going about that night or asap.

try to test the waters here, try one week of NC just to see the response you get from her, dont act like your moving on, you just had a busy week if she needs and explanation, sometimes the thought of losing you forever may make her mind up

I wish you well leigh I've been debating getting in contact with the ex and I hope it goes well for you.

if you need some more advice, lets hear why you think it was 'your fault' remember it takes two to tango

then let him know that, tell him listen I'm not going to jump back into something with you without some kind of assurane on your part. like madonna says "Don't go for second best baby

Put your love to the test

You know, you know, you've got to

Make him express how he feels

And maybe then you'll know your love is real

why do i know that lyric

I blocked for the first month or so as I was feigning a friendship after I told her I couldnt settle for friendship I deleted her but unblocked her so she would be out of sight but able to see me and respond in kind if she needed me

Well I'm just gonna let whats on my mind flow out so here goes.

Background Info

So lately I've been thinking back to last few days of the relationship, we were in VanCity. We went out one night to have dinner with a old close friend of hers that she hasn't seen in a long time, under a time restraint. I wanted to see my first Canucks game early so I could catch a few photos of them skating around. So were at dinner and its coming up to about an hour before game time usually a good time to go...I dont say anything..they keep talking catching up...time rolls on and still I say nothing waiting for her to initiate leaving to the game. At this point I felt it would be rude to stop two former best friends from talking while its the only chance there gonna get.

Finally the friend says something and we part ways so me and my gf are on our way to the game. We arrive about 10-15minutes before game time, just in time for me to snap 2 pics of the 'nobody's leaving the ice. So I wasnt too happy and I let her know; "I'm so disappointed this was the one thing I wanted the entire trip and now we've missed it'' I said that over the course of the night, she apologized and I after looking in those lovely hazel eyes later said it didnt matter.

So as I said I was thinking back to that moment...about a week before the breakup and I noticed a pattern from me. and it hit me like a revelation, I never spoke up when I was mad/wanted something/etc. I never communicated it to her as well as I should've. Everytime I'd be upset about something, I'd look in those eyes and just get lost. I would stop most fights before they even started because I was insecure to even get into them.

Which brings me to my thought process tonight. its about 3am and I'm not sleeping yet, works slowly approaching but its not the first thing on my mind. I've been in NC since I told her I couldnt settle for just friends on May 1st. Stayed strong throughout the entire time whether were both at my job/hers/clubs. Ive been trying to move on but inside I'm waiting for that email, whether its just a light hello, or something more. That spark that initiates contact and gets the ball rolling again. I've read SD71's story and saw that she initiated the contact, and then I read another (jenny_mcs) where the dumpee slowly starting re-introducing himself back into her life, show her the improvements he has been making. It got me thinking maybe my situation is the latter. I've also been thinking lately as crazy as this sounds but this breakup has been good for me in other ways, career wise; I'm applying to the RCMP, realizing some of my own relationship mistakes (needy and losing myself) and value the time that you do have.

So here I am, 3am and wondering now if NC has done its job, at about almost 3 months to bring me back to me. Its a tough decision and I'm split over what to do. I've seen people fail after initiating contact, maybe pushing there ex away forever. Part of me knows I should just keep on living and if it was meant to be she will find her way back somehow. But we all know NC is not for getting you ex back its for getting yourself back to be a better position for a chance at reconciling. And from that we all know that eventually NC must be broken. So lets hear some thoughts. I have not made up my mind but to me the initial contact would be a "coffee sometime" kinda deal.

I'm smiling right now so that can be a good sign, maybe I'll sleep now that this is off my chest.

theres one i found now I'm listening to it alot

keith urban - you'll think of me

Ya I remember thinking that...how would anyone else fall for me ever again? well how'd it happen the first time, it was so out of the blue and unexpected. We think about it now because we want it to happen right now, its when we least expect things to change that they do.

damn I see myself in those last two stories about the guy being clingy, I kept bringing up the relationship, thinking every little romantic thing I could think of would help her realize what shes missing. I did this for a month before going NC and its been NC since then, looks like I've got alot to make up for. You really do lose your head after a breakup..

ya, take a day or two before responding then try to realize what you want from this ex? friendship? reconciling? him to acquire an STD? (hehe) then you can respond if you feel you want to

yeeah, I remember at first now I would see in my head us reconciling..so happy..kissing eachother passionately leading to great makeup sex haha did I write that out...

ya this falls under guy code, you can ask but prepare for a no

samething applys to sisters,crushes,etc

ya i can agree.. "my life would be so much better if i had this or that etc"

I think its also just a beginning thing, all you can do is think about the positives right after a breakup and compare your life to then and now, even though now rather then in the past you didnt remember all the negatives

well the only tidbit of information I can offer, is dont push, humans tend to resist things that try to control them plus making him unavailable to her might make him more attractice (grass greener scenario)

well its human nature to want things we cannot have