mikeca

breakups are tricky things, we dont realize it at the time but there so much out there we dont know until we have the heinsight to look back and learn from it. Theres so much that could be affecting her behavior right now and its normal to think about her, your a young guy so theres alot left to learn out there, all we can do is try to make the best decisions we can and let everything else fall in place

Well first off dont listen to anyone here, haha. Your going to be making a BIG decision in the coming days, all we can do is give advice, not tell you what to do. NC seemed to give you a calm and rational head, so use it, take as much time as you need, hell go on a few dates again to see if theres spark, atleast then you can be honest with yourself and in your decision.

I really hope everything works out for the best!

[quote=iceman8l;

I treat women like gold, if you asked any of my ex's im sure they would say im either the best or one of the best boyfriends they've had. When I start going out with a girl they always say I'm different than all their other past relationships. They cant really put a finger on it but i've heard it alot.

I think that sometimes maybe being so good isnt a challenge after awhile, and they get bored and thats why they want to leave. I have no idea, but I dont get why you would give up something good for something bad.

I also am dealing with teenagers since I'm 20 and theres alot of peer pressure and other influences. I think that nice guys arent seen as a good thing by alot of people because its not much to talk about, and being in love sometimes is seen as weird.

I've learned something from every relationship I've had, from being too clingy, or being too distant, or not doing little things. I've learned alot but I probably have a whole lot more to learn.

Wow, so many similarities there with me. I told the now 'ex' that I'm different from other guys, and she would be like yeah, we'll see how long that lasts, yet even on the dying days she still said I was so great and different. And I would treat her like a queen, even if there would be something I'm mad at I'd look in her eyes and its just melt the anger away. I thought about that challenge thing for a long time, I kept reading that its all about power/control games we have to play, I never played any games, thats why I think you and I are wise beyond our years in this department. While most ppl are age and just either drinking/screwing/drugs I've always found myself not interested in anything like that. Lately it seems theres not many people left like us. Only the as*'s who keep hurting their girls.

ya one thing you learn right after a breakup is prospective. Tell her you dont want to see her for awhile, and if your feeling this way after a month (or longer) see where you two are at, sometimes a little time apart can be a good thing.

I know it may seem unrealistic now, but you end up a better person at the end of this long journey, I've had many self improvements after the breakup that...as much as it hurts to say wouldnt have happened if we were still together.

hah ok....but on the topic in hand...I hope you get the reply your looking for, prepare for nothing though that way you can continue NC to your recovery

well theres alot of room to guess here, the only way to be able to know for sure is when you are 'able' see if does the same thing but make an excuse or something along those lines.

love phil? whos mikey then?

it does seem like the nice guys who do so much for their girls get abused...

I met my ex's bestfriends boyfriend, there together for 5 yrs now and he is such an * * *, possibily cheated,verbal abusive. My ex even had a plan to pump up her friends confidence so she could dump him, yet here I am without her and that * * * still has his gf...oh boy.

someone once told me its when we stop looking for love (or just a date) that it find us.

hmm well sad wise theres

Theory of a Deadman - Since you've been gone

Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow - Picture

3 doors down - Here without you

Reo Speedwagon (plays at work) - Keep on loving you

Blue Rodeo - Bad Timing

Also I think this one is my "NC Song"

Lenny Kravitz - Again

I'd like to say it gets easier my friend, but all we can do is give them the space they need to clear their head and think.

were a dying breed.

We all come down this path with NC...we just gotta sit tight and hope our loves realize their lives are not as peachy without us.

stay strong.

we've all been there, now we know better

see how that works

well how are his actions turning out? is he showing you he loves you? can you pick up anything that might suggest hes doing the same to her? I mean I worked close with my now exgfs best friend I liked her and would joke with her, I even went on a mini-date* with her before seeing my gfs play, just to get to know her better. she has a bf of 5yrs, I thought it wise to know the best friend well because she could help me out in the long run. my gf never had a problem with this, why? because she knew through my actions I loved her, and didnt even have to worry

*her bf didnt wanna see the play / dinner

first off I like your avatar, secondly, I think you need to step back from the situation, I think you know the situation best, but I believe you need some time apart, not full on NC just yet perhaps a week before contacting him again and see if you can calmly resolve the situation, like the song goes

"i can see clearly now the rain is gone"

also dont feel pressured to jump into a career right away, I've been like that and it only makes you even more confused. Your very young, you have tonnes of days left to waste away at work

I think the actions speak louder than words saying works well here, you seem to think that you need to work on your communication, well ask yourself what have you changed about yourself to make you communicate better? self discovery is a great experience, if you start to show progress your ex might see this and begin to open up.

haha I remember thinking what my name would be with HER last name one time haha..but yeah around 7months when we talked about moving in together and stuff I began to think more of a future...it all comes with steps

wow....that was really good...it put me back in the memory of my first kiss.

all we have control of is the fix what we dont like about ourselves, your the only one who knows what you want to change, if you start this you'll definitely feel beter about yourself, and less importantly your ex might recognize this change and like the new you, although he may be the reason, do this for yourself.

just think, theres some prince charming out there for you, to make you forget all the pain this.."guy" (if you can call him that) caused you. Dont beat yourself over his insecurities, what goes around eventually comes around, karma.